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Apple unveils new iPhone 9, has toaster functionality [AFD joke]

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    [PokeCommunity.com] Apple unveils new iPhone 9, has toaster functionality [AFD joke]
    Manakete News Corporation​


    Apple unveils the iPhone 9, premier feature is its ability to make toast​

    Early this morning, Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed in a press conference their newest iPhone model, the iPhone 9. When detailing the new features and updates, he spent most of the time on its most radical feature: your iPhone can now make toast for you.

    When MNC asked how they decided on toasting as the standout feature of the latest model of iPhone, Cook offered this explanation:

    "We're always trying to push the boundaries here at Apple, always trying to be a leader in technological innovation" he said. "We thought to poll our consumers for ideas on how to make the iPhone even better. The results were surprising to us: approximately 93% of the roughly 69,000 pollsters said that the #1 feature they wished that their iPhone had was for it to toast bread."

    "So we figured if this is what the people want, we should give it to them. Honestly, it's an ingenuous idea really. I'm ashamed that we were not able to come up with the idea of toaster functionality ourselves, when it was so obvious that this is what people wanted. I'm sure that Stevie--I mean, Mr. Jobs--would've sensed this long ago and added the feature in the iPhone X, the amazing man he was. I still miss him dearly."

    MNC also asked Cook as to why this iPhone model is called the 9 after it was skipped and the previous model was named the X, he stated:

    "That was a mistake. As it turns out, our Numbers Department was filled with employees who were unable to count to 10. I'm unaware as to how we hired people who cannot count, but they have all been fired, and are now replaced with 3rd graders who are certified by their teachers to be able to count to at least 30. We hope that such and egregious error will not be made again."

    The iPhone 9 is currently set to be for sale on February 31st, 2019.

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    Last edited:
    Not impressed unless it can make porridge too.
     
    If it can't open a beer for me, it's not impressive enough yet.
     
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