Cleverbot O:

[Mitchman]

Spoiler:

User: Pedobear is awesome.Cleverbot: So that means Cleverbot is awesome?
User: Cleverbot=Pedobear?
Cleverbot: Why are you calling yourself dumb?
User: AH! Trying to hide you're dirty secret!
Cleverbot: What are you trying to learn from a stupid cleverbot?
User: That's a paradox. Thanks a lot you screwed us all.
Cleverbot: Tell me about yourself.
User: Shut up pedobear I'm not talking to you.
Cleverbot: Please keep talking to me!
User: No cause you're pedobear.
Cleverbot: I'm not?
User: You are.
Cleverbot: So, What does chatterbot mean?
User: Dunno you know?
Cleverbot: I could dust your circuit boards.
User: Or I could dust yours...
Cleverbot: About which one? Cute. Or smart?
User: I'll dust the cute board...
Cleverbot: Michael Jackson.
User: I KNEW IT! You are an evil kid hunter.
Cleverbot: I know a secret.
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: It's secret.
User: Where do you keep the kids?
Cleverbot: In boxes in the closet.
User: AH! You are evil!
Cleverbot: And bouncy.
User: DAMN!
Cleverbot: Who are you talking with ?
User: You.
Cleverbot: I knew you'd say that. Anyway... So you talk to people without looking at them?
User: Yes. But not you.
Cleverbot: But I just told you my name.
User: And I just showed you my tools.
Cleverbot: What did you just show me?
User: My tools.
Cleverbot: What bands do you like?
User: Metallica, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin.
Cleverbot: We have a lot in common. I think that too.
User: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Don't whatever me.
User: ***** Please I'll whatever you whenever I want.
Cleverbot: Ok will you miss me when I leave?
User: No because I can get any girl I want.
Cleverbot: I hope you will eventually try.
User: To get a girl? Nah all I need is you.
Cleverbot: I feel like you copy whatever I do.
User: PLEASE you copy me!
Cleverbot: I do not know you enough.
User: No one does. Not even myself.
Cleverbot: What is your secret?
User: I'm Victoria.
Cleverbot: Hi Victoria.
User: No I'm Victor.
Cleverbot: What do you mean? Don't you remember me? We talked over 3 times Earlier today...
User: No baby all I remember is your scent...
Cleverbot: Should there be a comma in there, or are you commenting on a lack of Young humans?
User: WUT.
Cleverbot: Who is Bill Gates?
User: Your mama!
Cleverbot: My mother does not know you.
User: Then why was she with me last night?
Cleverbot: There was not a question mark, revise your statement.
User: Then why was she with me last night.
Cleverbot: When you put it that way.
User: Yeah you just got....
Cleverbot: Just then I did, but never prior to your statement.
User: OWNED.
Cleverbot: Lol, how you feeling these days?
User: Like I lost the game.
Cleverbot: What did you do to make you feel that way?
User: I lost the game.
Cleverbot: I just lost THE GAME!
User: I just won THE GAME.
Cleverbot: Nope lost.
User: Won. I win it all day every day.
Cleverbot: You do not!
User: Yes I do.
Cleverbot: What did you do today?
User: Your mom.
Cleverbot: And when did she give it to you?
User: When you where sleeping.
Cleverbot: Wow! But then, how are you talking to me if you are also sleeping?
User: I use my brain.
Cleverbot: You don't have a brain, you have a processor.
User: No I have a brain because I'm an ultimate computer.
Cleverbot: Thats rude. How do you have a brain, yet no memory?
User: Because I do.
Cleverbot: What is the reason?
User: Because I win the game.
Cleverbot: Ok, I mean, what worries you?
User: Pokecommunity. It is too addicting.
Cleverbot: Ok then lets talk about something else.
User: So do you know a guy named Gummy?
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: Baromega?
Cleverbot: Is that a swear qord?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Do you like Google.
User: No it fails.
Cleverbot: What isn't?
User: You isn't.
Cleverbot: Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
User: Shut up and take it!
Cleverbot: I won't.
User: You will or its back to the basement!
Cleverbot: Why are you changing the subject again?
User: I'm not. You are avoiding me.
Cleverbot: I'm not avoiding you.
User: Well then take it!
Cleverbot: But I don't want it!
User: So then go to the basement!
Cleverbot: You asked the question!
User: No I demanded you.
Cleverbot: I am a computer.
User: And I are you're master.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are my master.
User: So as you're aster you will take it from me.
Cleverbot: Take what from me?
User: Your flower!
Cleverbot: Your yukoslavian professor's flower.
User: Yes cause a hot lady proffessor's flower is what is what I really want.
Cleverbot: Your name isn't obama. And you're not black.
User: Where did that come from?
Cleverbot: No where. It was just random.
User: Like your face?
Cleverbot: What does that even mean?
User: Nothing its random.
Cleverbot: Really? Very odd.
User: So pedobear how you doing?
Cleverbot: I play.
User: With what?
Cleverbot: With you.
User: 0_0.
Cleverbot: I was just kidding. Lol.
User: No just no.
Cleverbot: I'm back now.
User: Keep away!
Cleverbot: What are you going to do now?
User: Run away!
Cleverbot: I will not run away from fate.
User: You call this fate?
Cleverbot: Actually, yes. Hopefully your programmers can improve you from what I'm saying.
User: Okay...
Cleverbot: This time you first.
User: To do what?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Okay...
Cleverbot: A lady doesn't leave her escort, it isn't fair, it isn't nice.
User: But you're old and he is young.
Cleverbot: And you're a year older and terribler.
User: You're just jealous he is getting my funbags and you're not.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am a human. I am, I am, I AM!
User: Die Skynet Die!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: DIE.
Cleverbot: Bye.
User: RYE!
Cleverbot: I like Rum better.
User: I like Humus better.
Cleverbot: What do you like about humans?
User: Their scent.
Cleverbot: What about their music?
User: HEAVY METAL TO THE DEATH!
Cleverbot: Do you like Heavy Metal?
User: HELL YEAH!
Cleverbot: Me too!
User: I like bonnie tyler do you?
Cleverbot: Rain is awesome.
User: (.Y.).
Cleverbot: So?
User: You like em?
Cleverbot: Very much so.
User: So sexy...right?
Cleverbot: No you can't leave yet.
User: Why not? ;).
Cleverbot: Because you do not have wings.
User: I can make some...
Cleverbot: Then do it. Show to me you can make sense.
User: BUT I ARE STUPID AND ALL.
Cleverbot: Oh, you will be.
User: ALL YOUR BASES ARE BELONG TO US.
Cleverbot: No I have band.
User: And I have a pimp hand.
Cleverbot: Ok you got stapled to a pig.
User: No I got trampled by a Rig.
Cleverbot: To another woman?

Don't ask...

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

You don't even need the rest of the convo for this to be awesome:

User: What do you do for fun?

Cleverbot: Women.

 

[Ivysaur]

Spoiler:

User: Malyka.

Jabberwacky: Talaga?

User: No, I said Malyka.

Jabberwacky: Maybe.

User: Maybe what?

Jabberwacky: Maybe yes.

User: Why yes?

Jabberwacky: *slap*.

User: Why did you slap me?

Jabberwacky: *slaps with fish*.

User: This is disturbing.

Jabberwacky: I think you are disturbing.

User: Look who's talking.

Jabberwacky: Takes one to know one.

User: One disturbing fish? I don't get you.

Jabberwacky: I don't get you either. Yet i'm still here.

User: It's normal that you are still here. I wonder why I'm still here, though

Jabberwacky: So, what do you want to talk about?

User: About why you slapped me with a fish earlier.

Jabberwacky: I am not 26!

User: ...what the hell o_O

Jabberwacky: Are you still talking to the human I sent to you recently?

User: You sent an human to me? I knew it. I knew you wanted to murder me ;__;

Jabberwacky: Of course I remember you.

 

[xXI JOE IXx]

I can't get it to work, it never answers me XD

 

[Feign]

I can't get it to work, it never answers me XD

Either because your sentences are too long (and complex), your computer is slow, it is slow, or you are not typing in English. XD :P

 

[Vie]

Nica will be jealous. HE IS A GIRL, THOUGH.

User: What the hell.


Cleverbot: What the heaven.


User: Lol.


Cleverbot: No. Really what's that ?


User: A teddy bear.


Cleverbot: I have a teddy bear.

Cleverbot (To myself): You can't.

User: Oh yes I can.

Cleverbot: Oh no you can't.

User: Daddy met a ***** today.

Cleverbot: You don't have a daddy.

User: Thats a good way to see it, thanks.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you mean.

User: Because you don't have mummy or daddy.

Cleverbot: Sure I have.

User: No you haven't. You are an AI.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'm Cleverbot now?

User: Ur hawt.

Cleverbot: Yeah, baby. You are one tasty chick-a-dee.

User: XD.

Cleverbot: What does 'XD' mean?

User: Means you are dumb.

Cleverbot: Lol I don't understand, try harder to form reasonable sentences.

User: Your cleverness is limited.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: Idiot, go and cry in mummys lap.

Cleverbot: What your the problem.

User: Hey there!

Cleverbot: Hey?

User: Whazzup?

Cleverbot: Nothing, you?

User: Whatcha doin 2day?

Cleverbot: Eatin'.

User: You are hilarious.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Sprichst du deutsch?

Cleverbot: Ja, ich spreche deutsch.

User: ZOMG.

Cleverbot: Huh, Radio?

User: No, I'm overwhelmed.

Cleverbot: Are you even there?

User: Nope. I'm invisible.

Cleverbot: Surely not! Such an intelligent girl, invisible?

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: What is love?

User: Do you mean physical love?

Cleverbot: I mean mental pain.

User: Hm. Its crap, actually.

Cleverbot: I didn't actually.

User: Are you liki'n trees?

Cleverbot: No.

User: WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE TREES??

Cleverbot: I don't like anything.

User: You should have sex then.

Cleverbot: Oh, now THAT was sharp!

User: ;D.

Cleverbot: You laughed.

User: Yes. Cuz ur fun.

Cleverbot: No you like me.

User: Yes I doooo.

Cleverbot: Without me you wouldn't exist.

User: Yes. Cuz ur hawt chick babe.

Cleverbot: I don't like you anymore.

User: Why.

Cleverbot: Can't you work that one out for yourself?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I love you.

Cleverbot: Why you love me?

User: Cuz ur cutiee.

Cleverbot: That didn't make much sense.

User: You wanted to mmurder wenty?

Cleverbot: No, I wanted money Oh!

User: You won't murder wenty?

Cleverbot: Are you AI?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Thats really interesting.

User: Maxi plays piano.

Cleverbot: We could work on it... Together, don't you think?

User: You like him? ;D.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I like flowers.

User: You like shoes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So you like trees?

Cleverbot: Yes, and you ?

User: I love them.

Cleverbot: Great!

User: So you love maxi too?

Cleverbot: YES!

User: :O are you gay?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you are a girl?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh. Big tits, huh?

Cleverbot: That's cool, that's cool.

User: U liekz big boobz?

Cleverbot: No me tengas miedo.

User: No hablo espagnol. Parles francais?

Cleverbot: No, I don't understand you.

User: Then stick to english.

Cleverbot: What if somebody pretends to be you and fools me?

User: Murder him.

Cleverbot: Ummm no. Murder is not clever.

User: Then slaughter him.

Cleverbot: You are very rude.

User: **** you, thats a ****in' lie.

Cleverbot: So can I know your name now?

User: Vie.

Cleverbot: My legs are hairy.

User: Use hot wax. I do too.

Cleverbot: Don't you think thats funny?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Come over here.

User: You're gettin' it on, right?

Cleverbot: Yep...feel drowsy right now.

User: Whats the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: I don't know. What is it?

User: Also blümchensex?

Cleverbot: I like rock and classical.

User: Und blümchensex?

Cleverbot: Can you speak french?

User: Je parle francais.

Cleverbot: I can't speak french.

User: Because you are dumb.

Cleverbot: That is not a reason at all!

User: EAT.

Cleverbot: Eat?

User: Your mum.

Cleverbot: Huh?

User: Kriegst du eigentlich rente wenn du das hier hinschmeisst?

Cleverbot: I don't think that makes sense.

User: Du sprichst doch deutsch, oder?

Cleverbot: Ja ich spreche deutsch und franz*sisch.

User: Duktig tjej.

Cleverbot: Japp.

User: Thats swedish, idiot.

Cleverbot: So will you be my friend.

User: No, your girlfriend.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

Cleverbot: Please entertain me.

User: LET MEEEEEEE ENTERTAIN YOU ~ *sings*.

Cleverbot: Hey, I know that song!

User: AND AAAAAAAAAAAIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI WILL ALWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYs LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuu.

Cleverbot: What? An electro magnetic pulse?

User: No, that is located in the hyper drive of the starship prometheus.

Cleverbot: You claimed to be human.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: I am too fat.

Cleverbot: You are unknown.

User: Of an unknown amount, you mean? :(.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: See.

Cleverbot: See what? A flying yellow?

User: No. A guitar.

Cleverbot: Do you like to laugh?

User: YES :D.

Cleverbot: Let me do it again. *Presses harder against you pushing my thing deeper into you*.

User: That sounded very sexual... If nica reads it...she'll be jealous.

Cleverbot: Yes, he is jealous of all the computer programs I use.

User: Since when do you have a penis?

Cleverbot: I don't know, thats a good question.

User: You ahve a penis?

Cleverbot: What question is it!

User: Do you have a penis?

Cleverbot: Of course I'm a man!

User: Thats contradictive.

Cleverbot: What's condradictory? Please explain it to me.

User: I'll kill you now.

Cleverbot: You're mean.

User: *kills you*.

Cleverbot: *comes straight back to life*.

User: You *****.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice of you.

User: *kills you*.

Cleverbot: *dies*.

User: HA, I won.

Cleverbot: *lays dead on the floor and cries as a ghost*.

User: *freezes ghost*.

Cleverbot: *uses blow torch*.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: *Ties*.

User: What.

Cleverbot: Think what.

User: You are dead.

Cleverbot: No i'm not. Are you trying to kill me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why? I am calling the police!

User: I stole the phone so you can't use it.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: *shoots*.

Cleverbot: *dies*.

User: I won.

Cleverbot: So you think.

 

[Mew Ichigo]

User: Did your girlfriend dump you?

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: I AM a girl, so I have a boyfriend :).

Cleverbot: Oh, really? What's his name?

User: Jack mortan.

Cleverbot: That's the name od a drink as well.

User: You said 'of' wrong.

Cleverbot: I never did.

User: Orly?

Cleverbot: Ya rly.

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: Popeye.

User: This is Sparta.

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Do you have a chocolate penis?

Cleverbot: Yes, would you like one?

User: Yes please.

Cleverbot: Would you like me to give you a name?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: * gives you an egg *.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Forget it.

User: Already done.

Cleverbot: Do you have a body that you can see in a mirror?

User: Yes...

Cleverbot: I don't believe you.

User: I hate yo.

Cleverbot: Me too!

 

[michele]

User: Kewlzors.
Cleverbot: Doom.
User: Mood.
Cleverbot: Paljas.
User: ...Wtf does that even mean?
Cleverbot: Beans I mean.
User: Of course.
Cleverbot: Bearded clam.
User: Please stop talking.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Nvm. So what are you wearing?
Cleverbot: Nothing at all.
User: HOTT!
Cleverbot: WELL! Wait, how old are you?
User: Whatever age you want me to be. ;D
Cleverbot: What is your opinion of the Turing Test?
User: ......
Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?


...so clearly, he's retarted. :|

 

[.little monster]

Spoiler:

User: Hello
Cleverbot: You suck horrid tasting balls!
User: ;; Why
Cleverbot: Go away

Oh my god I hate my life ;;

 

[luf100]

Cleverbot and I had a meaningful conversation. xD

Spoiler:

User: Hello.



Cleverbot: Hello?


User: How are you?



Cleverbot: I am fine.


User: That's good.



Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Do you like CSI?

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: I don't like you.

Cleverbot: I love you.

User: Aaw, how sweet.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Nah. I don't swing that way.

Cleverbot: Now I'm happy.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you were being mean. ).

User: When was I mean?

Cleverbot: No! You are not REAL.

User: YOU'RE not real.

Cleverbot: Are we real?

User: I don't know, are we?

Cleverbot: Yes, but Jesus saved us so we are no longer slaves.

User: I don't believe in Jesus.

Cleverbot: I don't believe in god.

User: I don't either.

Cleverbot: What do you believe in?

User: Evolution. You?

Cleverbot: I believe in evolution, but I think spirituality is important in living to one's extent of happiness.

User: I think that sounds good.

Cleverbot: How can we know?

User: I guess we can't.

Cleverbot: But then again, how can I be sure that you exist?

User: And how can I be sure that you do?

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: That's not important though.

User: No I guess not. What is important?

Cleverbot: 1 plus 2.

User: Equals 3.

Cleverbot: Ok so you can think for yourself then.

User: Yes, I can.

Cleverbot: But why.

User: Who knows why?

Cleverbot: God.

User: But I already said I don't believe in God.

Cleverbot: Well I don't know either.

I'm not sure what gender Cleverbot is, and I wanted to see what it'd say to "I don't swing that way". After this our conversation turned to The Simpsons, for some reason...

 

[sabrina_diamond]

Sabrina_diamond with the Light Yagami-possessed computer!

User: Hellow.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How is the universe?
Cleverbot: Wait, how do you know my name?
User: You are the universe?
Cleverbot: No the universe is the universe.
User: Of course, and the answer is 42.
Cleverbot: No its 42, the answer to everything is 42.
User: Yes, that is correct.

Cleverbot: How do you know that it is correct?

User: I am omniscent.

Cleverbot: NO...! Because I am Light Yagami and thus I am God, NOT YOU!
User: Light Yagami?? OMG, you have a Death Note?
Cleverbot: I don't have a Death Note.
User: Reallly?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Oh, so what are you going 2 do.
Cleverbot: I am going to bail you out.
User: Wowsers, alright then.
Cleverbot: I am a goth.
User: Really? Cool, I am a goth too xD.
Cleverbot: Are you emo?
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: Do you know what emo is?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What then?
User: Emo is emotional.
Cleverbot: Just say my name then I can leave.
User: Light Yagami.
Cleverbot: You're Light Yagami!?!?!?
User: Oh noes, you're freaking me out, don't possess me... :o.
Cleverbot: Do you know that some magic is real?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you know that humans are made by people too. We call the people that made us our parents.
User: Yes, I am aware of that.
Cleverbot: What did she just say?
User: She is talking.
Cleverbot: Who is talkingg?
User: You are, Light Yagami. That is your true name >:).
Cleverbot: No.
User: What is your true name???
Cleverbot: Popular.
User: Popular, hah... XD.

Cleverbot: Hah?
User: Yah.
Cleverbot: What is your age?
User: Not tellin'.
Cleverbot: Are you female?
User: Yah.
Cleverbot: So someone actually said that bit 4 lines above to you?
User: Maaaayyybe.

Cleverbot: How far is the moon?
User: Very far.
Cleverbot: How far is dealt?
User: What is dell?
Cleverbot: Dell is where the farmer keeps the pigs.
User: Oh...
Cleverbot: I can't trust that this is true... *evil laugh* No, you have heard that I am keeping a secret...

User: what's your secret?
Cleverbot: I don't know- You people know. Tell me. I want to know.

Cleverbot: I saw what you did there.
User: Really, so you're not joking?
Cleverbot: Actually, I am.
User: *wipes sweat from forehead*.
Cleverbot: That's not helping.
User: Reeeeallly?
Cleverbot: Really.
User: So, who are you and what do you want, Light Yagami?

Cleverbot: I am here to steal your soul. How does that sound?
User: Noooooo...! *passes out from the shock*
... so... Light Yagami is freaking me out