Cutting

[Charizard★]

A lot of people frown upon those who cut and label them as psychos before even getting to know their story. They condemn them because of the way they coped with their mental anguish at a certain time. What I want to know is what is your take on those who cut or used to cut? When you see someones wrist/arm/shoulder/body part that has obvious cut marks what comes to your mind first?

 

[Oryx]

Honestly, what comes to my mind first is a reminder to myself to make sure to not say anything or stare, because I don't want to make them uncomfortable.

I feel like cutting is one of the worst kinds of self-harm, beyond bruises and vomiting and over-exercise, on the level of burning oneself. It leaves marks that stay there forever; I know many people that were depressed, cut, and now feel shame over their arms although they're no longer depressed because of the scars.

Just like I said on the suicide thread, I have no right to judge their mental state and claim they should have done things differently. If you're actively trying to hurt yourself, it's likely that you are suffering from some kind of mental disorder, most often depression but it could be any variety of disorder. Regardless of your life, how easy or hard it was, if you have a support network, if the disorder is "rational", I still feel the same sympathy. It's not about rationality or what your objective life was like, it's about how you feel your life was like.

 

[PokemonLeagueChamp]

What comes to mind first is probably something like "Okay, if suicide doesn't fix any problems, this is probably reverse problem solving. Now you've still got your problems, AND you've been slicing yourself open and leaking blood all over the place."

Obviously I don't just go ahead and say that, but that's what I think. That being said, previous statements about rationality entering into this make some sense. I don't know how much rational thinking is going through a person's head when they're in severe depression. Otherwise, they wouldn't go thinking cutting themselves is a good idea, or even a tolerable idea.

 

[Monophobia]

I know many people look at those who self-harm by cutting as either "attention-seekers" or "people with mental illness" but honestly, that's just simply not the case (well, actually, I can't speak for everyone, and I know there are a few out there who cut for attention, I've met some). When I cut, I feel relief. I feel a weight lifting off my heart. My depression makes it difficult for me to maintain a happy mood, and often I feel sore in my heart, so when I cut into my skin, I'm essentially moving the focus of pain from inside of me to a place that I can deal with much easier (such as my wrist or thigh). It's a distraction. Not a permanent one, obviously, but it helps.

I've been admitted into many psychiatric wards in my lifetime and none of them got me to quit. I'd just start up again as soon as I was discharged. People who have never self-harmed will probably never understand, and that's something everyone's gotta deal with.

 

[Toni88]

I know two persons who cuts themselves, I know them by years and it's obvious that they do it for attenction, it's certainly not the main motivation for everyone, but some people do it to get noticed by the society, because for them it sounds good to have attenction.
Anyway these two guys have a really good life and has a loooot of friends, so I can't find any other reason.
Obviuosly I'm not talking for everyone who cuts, do not misunderstand me!

 

[Oryx]

I know two persons who cuts themselves, I know them by years and it's obvious that they do it for attenction, it's certainly not the main motivation for everyone, but some people do it to get noticed by the society, because for them it sounds good to have attenction.
Anyway these two guys have a really good life and has a loooot of friends, so I can't find any other reason.
Obviuosly I'm not talking for everyone who cuts, do not misunderstand me!

This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about - you can't judge a person's mental state by how their external life is. Depression and other mental disorders hit people with friends just as much as they hit people without. Many people that take their lives had many friends that had no idea and thought they were happy. To look at someone's life, decide that it's good enough, and then judge them negatively for cutting (likely due to a mental disorder) is inappropriate.

 

[Toni88]

This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about - you can't judge a person's mental state by how their external life is. Depression and other mental disorders hit people with friends just as much as they hit people without. Many people that take their lives had many friends that had no idea and thought they were happy. To look at someone's life, decide that it's good enough, and then judge them negatively for cutting (likely due to a mental disorder) is inappropriate.

You can trust me or not, I don't care, I know what having a mental disorder means: it ruins your life, but you don't fix it by cutting or trying to hurt yourself. However, these two are some of the most stereotyped persons you may find everywhere! I met them several years ago, since then they never changed, of course this cutting story was born only one moth ago, while a lot and a lot of other people were doing it, so they thought "Wow, it seems that if If I cut me, someone will be always here to comfort me! Nice, where's the knife?" I'm pretty sure about it, because that happened, and they're like "vips" right now.
You don't know them like me.

 

[maccrash]

You can trust me or not, I don't care, I know what having a mental disorder means: it ruins your life, but you don't fix it by cutting or trying to hurt yourself. However, these two are some of the most stereotyped persons you may find everywhere! I met them several years ago, since then they never changed, of course this cutting story was born only one moth ago, while a lot and a lot of other people were doing it, so they thought "Wow, it seems that if If I cut me, someone will be always here to comfort me! Nice, where's the knife?" I'm pretty sure about it, because that happened, and they're like "vips" right now.
You don't know them like me.

who are you to tell us what they're thinking? who are you to tell us exactly what their life is like? you may know them well but you still have no idea what's going on in their heads and what their life is like outside of the guise they potentially fake so people can think they're okay when they're really not. it's this kind of thinking that really ♥♥♥♥s with peoples' perception of mental illness, and it makes me really angry. if you met them several years ago and they haven't changed, did it ever occur to you that they might have a real issue and not just some silly fantasy that you're convinced they've made up for attention?

 

[Oryx]

You can trust me or not, I don't care, I know what having a mental disorder means: it ruins your life, but you don't fix it by cutting or trying to hurt yourself. However, these two are some of the most stereotyped persons you may find everywhere! I met them several years ago, since then they never changed, of course this cutting story was born only one moth ago, while a lot and a lot of other people were doing it, so they thought "Wow, it seems that if If I cut me, someone will be always here to comfort me! Nice, where's the knife?" I'm pretty sure about it, because that happened, and they're like "vips" right now.
You don't know them like me.

It's not about trust, it's about knowledge of people. The fact that you describe them as stereotypes says a lot - stereotypes are surface level, they lack depth. People by default do not lack depth, because they are human beings with thoughts and emotions. Therefore, the stereotype you see is not who they are.

I agree with mac, claiming that you know their lives and they have no underlying mental illness and disparaging them is harmful to those with mental illness; people that share this attitude are the people that tell depressed people "just cheer up, your life is good! you have no right to have a chemical imbalance in your brain!" Your attitude towards these people is indicative of your opinion towards mental illness; if they don't have enough "outward signs", they must be faking, and if their life is "good enough", they can't be depressed. These are harmful, uninformed stereotypes.

 

[Charizard★]

You can trust me or not, I don't care, I know what having a mental disorder means: it ruins your life, but you don't fix it by cutting or trying to hurt yourself. However, these two are some of the most stereotyped persons you may find everywhere! I met them several years ago, since then they never changed, of course this cutting story was born only one moth ago, while a lot and a lot of other people were doing it, so they thought "Wow, it seems that if If I cut me, someone will be always here to comfort me! Nice, where's the knife?" I'm pretty sure about it, because that happened, and they're like "vips" right now.
You don't know them like me.

I've cut in the past. I found it as a away to escape emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain. It made it easier at the time for me to cope with what I was feeling and what was going on in my head. I never wanted people to find out, and I'm deathly afraid till this day that someone will find out and I've even made up a story to hide them.

I'll say this though. Cutting is addicting. Once you find out it makes your mind escape the mental anguish you're in you want to keep on finding that relief. And you'd do anything to escape into that 'relief'. It's not as easy as saying 'I'm going to stop', and if anyone tells you differently, I'll be more than happy to tell them they're wrong. More often than not, the person needs something else to find that niche. For me it was physical sports, for others it can be art, running, etc. But everyone has their own thing. And depending on how addicting it is to them, they may need intervention. Since this is online I don't mind saying this but, there came a moment when I was cutting when I realized that I may need an alternative after I lost a good amount of blood from a single deep cut. That was the turning point for me, I didn't stop abruptly, as shameful it is to say, I took it slow.

You don't understand what it means to have a disorder if you think like that. You don't know how it controls your life. We don't need people to generalize us for cutting, to be stereotyped, what they need is someone to rely on. Someone to be there for them, and until then more likely than not they won't stop.

 

[Astinus]

You can trust me or not, I don't care, I know what having a mental disorder means: it ruins your life, but you don't fix it by cutting or trying to hurt yourself. However, these two are some of the most stereotyped persons you may find everywhere! I met them several years ago, since then they never changed, of course this cutting story was born only one moth ago, while a lot and a lot of other people were doing it, so they thought "Wow, it seems that if If I cut me, someone will be always here to comfort me! Nice, where's the knife?" I'm pretty sure about it, because that happened, and they're like "vips" right now.
You don't know them like me.

As others have said, you don't know what's going on in their minds to cause them to act this way. If anyone had looked at me during high school, back when I used to self-harm the most, no one would understand why I was depressed. I had what seemed like a perfect home life, good grades, friends, and everything else. But depression still hit me hard enough that for a few years, I self-harmed because I didn't know how else to solve the problems going on in my mind.

So while I was self-harming at the beginning of its rise in "popularity" (when it was getting media attention) and it might seem like I was doing it because others were, it was just an exceptionally bad habit that I had from childhood and one of my only ways to cope back then.

As Naruto says, self-harm is addicting. I didn't stop actually doing it until I found a better way to cope (mostly by keeping my hands busy with something else). But the thoughts of doing it took much longer to get control of until I made an effort to divert them into more positive thoughts.

Because of my own history with self-harm and just how I always am when seeing people, I don't make any sort of deal with their scars but I silently wonder what their story is.

 

[~Justified~]

I know two persons who cuts themselves, I know them by years and it's obvious that they do it for attenction, it's certainly not the main motivation for everyone, but some people do it to get noticed by the society, because for them it sounds good to have attenction.
Anyway these two guys have a really good life and has a loooot of friends, so I can't find any other reason.
Obviuosly I'm not talking for everyone who cuts, do not misunderstand me!

Depression is caused by a shortage of certain chemicals in the brain, mostly just the chemicals affecting mood and emotion. It does not matter how much friends, family, or however many material possessions you may have, those things do not restore balance to the chemicals in the brain. There is usually some type of mental disorder affecting the persons judgement or mood, which causes them to cut themselves.

 

[Auticorn]

I've learned that cutting comes from people who usually struggle. It can be due to broken families, school related causes or anything that causes them severe depression and anxiety. I used to be a cutter myself, and this was because I had a hard time handling all of my built up emotions. Cutting was my only escape because the physical pain would distract my brain from the emotions on the rise.

I have actually stopped cutting for months now, but I do feel for those who do it. I don't think they are psychos. Most of the reasons why they don't is because they have no way of expressing it in any other way. It's hard to just tell someone what's going on in your life, especially when that person might listen. I can't really say what goes through my mind when I used to do it, and I can't speak for others that do it... but that's what I think.

 

[unicorn]

um. hello!

as someone who has a variety of mental illnesses, i also happen to struggle with self harm quite a bit! so usually when i see someone who has marks or scars, i don't say anything unless they appear to be leaning towards suicidal tendancies, because self harm in itself does not necessarily mean that you want to die.

the reason i don't say anything is because when people ask you about your scars, it's a horrifying moment of panic and desperation. the pit of your stomach drops, your face flushes, your mouth goes dry--because what should you do? just outright admit it? and even if you lie, people are going to talk anyway. especially if you stammer and make something up. and even if you do fess up and tell, you then have to deal with the awful stigmas people have linked to self harm [ie: they're doing it for attention, they're so pathetic, they're suicidal, they're "crazy", they aren't "doing it right", etc, etc, etc].

for me, cutting actually prevents me from doing something drastic like suicide. it grounds me back to the present somehow--reels me back in from my dissociation and hysteria. there are also other theories as to why people self harm -- such as the endorphins that the pain induces, or that their own self hate is so deep that they feel a compulsion to do so [almost similarly to dermatillomania].

[just as a side-note, "psychos" should not be equated with mental illnesses that may lead to cutting because that's something completely different altogether! also it's a very ableist term/insult to use for people who have mental illnesses.]

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

When I see that I see someone who needs help and needs to talk to someone, because those cuts will last forever, while the things that caused those cuts will not. This comes from someone who has a couple of scars herself, and I really wish I didn't do it.

After reading Toni88's posts, I'm a little ashamed that the community has jumped on him for going around and "stereotyping" people. You don't know the people he's talking about. I know people who also cut for attention seeking, and they have a very distinct difference from those who cut for coping with mental illness - they usually broadcast it and show it off, while those who cut for an escape usually are more nondescript. Frankly, the former probably has mental illness as well, but probably some sort of hystrionic or narcissistic personality disorder. Both have problems but one has problems more rooted in attention seeking while the other is an escape. Please don't generalize and assume that everyone cuts for the same reason, because while it may not apply to you, it may apply to other people.

 

[£]

Do I know them well enough to make it my business?
If not, I won't. And I probably won't feel it necessary to intervene in any way. Otherwise... I'm going to be very intrusive with my support; with the intent of it being for the greater good. I guess it's how I operate, and if I know the person well enough like, it's rarely had a bad outcome, I suppose.

Cutting in general is really saddening to me. That someone feels the need to draw their own blood isn't natural and nobody should have to feel the desire to do that to themselves. I don't judge people for the act of cutting though. I either avoid the matter of dive in head first.

 

[twocows]

It's physically harmful and potentially very dangerous. As such, anyone who does it is in need of psychiatric care.

 

[Sonata]

Who would have thunk that cutting yourself was physically harmful. All but one of my exes have cut themselves before either while we were dating, before, or after. Any time I see the scars on them I just want to hold them and cry and try my best to make sure they don't do it any more. When I see someone with scars on their body from cutting I feel like I have a responsibility to go out of my way to make sure that person is happy and make sure they don't cut anymore.

 

[Chiere]

As someone who used to cut when I was a teenager, I would say that for me it was both a way of forgetting my emotional pain and also a plea for attention, as I was feeling ignored by almost everyone at that time. And although I no longer cut, I still struggle with other forms of self-injury daily, which I guess will always be reality for me (seeing as I've done it since I was 8 or so). I try not to judge people who cut, since I have no idea what their circumstances are.

P.S. My current self-injury is not related to abuse or any tragedy in my family, as I have never experienced those things. I'm not sure why I do it, to be honest.

 

[Atomic Pirate]

I've never cut -- While I've gone through issues with depression, I've always been too scared of bleeding out and dying, the cuts becoming infected, and accidentally cutting too deep to cut.