Describe a Pokemon in the silliest way possible

[Harmonious Fusion]

In this game, you describe a Pokemon of your choosing - appearance, fandom reaction to it, typing, anything that can accurately apply to it, really - but you have to make it sound as outlandish and silly as you can. If it helps, think of how a non-fan would describe this Pokemon, or how you would describe it to them.

Please don't use this as an excuse to bash Pokemon you dislike. Poking fun at or criticizing a Pokemon is fine, but there's no need to get mean-spirited about it. Here's my example.

Primeape: It's a monkey that does martial arts and hates literally everything.

 

[Emboar]

Sandslash: It's a mouse that gets bullied by the pinecone it has on its back.

 

[Harmonious Fusion]

Mega Diancie: It's some pink gemstone thing that underwent a magical girl transformation.

 

[Abby]

Starmie: A blue star with a gem in it that does magic!

 

[Gardevoir the Dragon Slayer]

Stunkfish: A fish that was one ran over by a Steam Roller.

 

[IggyKoopa]

Mawile: A really cute little thing with a giant mouth-shaped growth sticking out of the back of its head that's probably cancerous.

 

[LilyWhite]

Mega Slowbro: A mutual relationship gone parasitic.

 

[Alfieri]

Mega Blaziken: a 6 foot tall bipedal chicken who copied Heihachi's hairdo.

 

[Abby]

Doduo: A mutated bird with no wing that can still fly.

 

[destinedjagold]

Pidgey: A bird. Y'know, a brown bird.

 

[CliCliW]

Pikachu: "It's a little yellow thing with bright red cheeks. May be tipsy?" Or "Oh! I know this one! It's PokeMan!"

 

[destinedjagold]

I was bored the other day, so I showed my mom my team. Two of my 'mon she described is for this thread here, I suppose...

Charizard: "Red lizard with wings..."
Lucario: "Isn't that from that Twilight movie?"

-,-"

 

[Harmonious Fusion]

Mega Absol: It's a black and white dog thing with angel wings. Have I seen this on deviantArt before?