Gary Stu's Unpredictable Adventure (PARODY)

[icomeanon6]

EDIT: Thanks to Jaxy for betaing! (can't believe I forgot to write that earlier...)

WARNING: The following parody may poke fun at your mistakes!​

Gary Stu's Unpredictable Adventure​

Chapter 1​

It was a bright, cheerful morning in the Town of Pallet. Various tri-cranial, flightless birds sung in harmony to wake up the generally pleasant townspeople. The dew on the grass glistened softly, all the more enhancing the peaceful atmosphere that was commonly associated with the lower country in Kanto. However, the peacefulness of this particular morning was soon to be interrupted by the excitement of this particular day. If you, the reader, have gathered anything from the genre of this story, you already know that this day was the day when a group of ten year olds would start their Pokémon journeys! In this story, we will focus on the adventure of Gary Stu, a delightful young lad who was just now getting ready to receive his first Pokémon.

Gary was in his bedroom, trying to decide on what he should wear for this special occasion. Even though he firmly believed that he looked absolutely stunning in anything, he had to be sure that he looked extra perfect today. In the end, he decided on wearing ocean blue jeans, a jet black t-shirt, a stylish blue jacket, and a hat with just the right corporate logo to show off his individualtiy. Gary was then struck with the thought that his dashing looks might cause swooning females to hurt themselves on impact, but he decided it was a risk he would have to take. Gary exited his bedroom, walked down the stairs, and entered the kitchen, where his mother was sitting at the table. Gary cheerfully said to his mother, "Good morning Mom! Do you remember what day this is?"

His mother looked up from the bottle of pills she was holding and replied, "Of course! Today's the day when I'm no longer legally required to take care of you!"

"Um…OK, then…" Gary began, with an eyebrow raised. However, in an instant he switched back to his normal, sunny expression and said, "But it's also the day that I'm going to start my journey to become a Pokémon master!"

"That's wonderful, Gary. Now get out of my house before I call the police!"

"Don't I get any breakfast, first? I was hoping to have some bacon before leaving on my voyage of totally super amazing destiny and stuff."

"What part of 'I don't have to take care of you anymore' do you not get, you ungrateful little jerk?" his mother said in a furious tone of voice. "Don't you know why your father left? It was because he couldn't stand you and how you never listened to anything we ever said!"

"Sorry Mom, I didn't catch that. I was busy thinking about how my adventure's going to be completely flawless and unforgettable."

At this point, Gary's mom shoved him out the door and threw the nearest object she could find at him. Fortunately for Gary, this object was a backpack with some PokéGear and Pokéballs in it. Gary then stood up and made his way to Professor Oak's lab.

The interior of the modern facility was quite futuristic, and was painted a distinctly bright white. Gary looked around the place for Professor Oak, and did not have any success. He decided to ask one of the aides where the professor could be found. After a minute or so of repeating the phrase "Hey, Listen!" he managed to get the attention of an aide, who said to him, "Gary, you do realize that this is a restricted government building and that you're not allowed in here without permission, right?"

Gary replied to him, "Excuse me sir, I'm Gary Stu from the Town of Pallet…"

"I know."

"Let me finish! …And I'm going to become a Pokémon master! By the way, where are all the other new trainers? Am I the first one here?"

"Yes, you are the first one here. That's because all of the other new trainers noticed the sign out front that said, 'Attention new trainers, we are busy right now, come back at 2:30.'"

"Oh. Well, I'm destined to become the world's greatest Pokémon trainer, so can I just get a Pokémon now? I'd like a Squirtle."

"No."

"How about a Pikachu?"

"No."

"An Eevee?"

"No."

"Dragonair?"

"No!"

"You wouldn't happen to have any legendaries around here, would you?"

"LEAVE, DAMMIT!"

Gary left. However, he was still unfazed and determined to become the world's greatest Pokémon trainer. So, he decided to get a head start on the other kids and go out to catch his first Pokémon on his own. Before leaving for Route 1, he addressed all the people who happened to be standing around the main road, "I just wanted to say goodbye, Pallet Town! I'll be sure to remember you all when I'm uber-famous and everyone adores me!"

There were a few scattered replies; most of them simply telling Gary that he was an arrogant blowhard and that he should get bent. However, one of the remarks particularly stood out in his mind, "You're a loser and nobody loves you!"

Gary replied to this comment by saying, "I'll miss you too, Mom!" He then departed to begin his adventure.

 

[New Age Retro Hippie]

Yay, parodies. This is the best written parody I have ever read; mostly because parodies also focus on n00bs' bad spelling and grammar. Anywho, let's review.

I love Gary's sense of "I'm the best", even when everyone's hurling abuse at the poor fellow. His mother in particular made me chuckle, especially her explanation of The Inexplicably Missing Father From Pokemon. It's almost a cross inbetween the Perfect Child and AntiSue. However, Gary was not as cliched as he could've been: Colour changing eyes, anyone?

It felt a little rushed, but that's no biggie in a parody. I'm keen to read more about this uppity little brat and his potentially Shiny and Legendary filled journey and the humour that ensues.

 

[Bay]

I quite like this parody. Like Falling Star, usually the parodies dealt with the grammar and spelling mistakes people did. Instead, you're dealing with other issues, like Gary Stus.

At first, I thought you're going to just have Gary be all perfect and such. The thing about this is usually people mistake Gary/Mary Stus to be perfect characters. Well, part of it yes, but the real definition of it is the world revolving around your character. For instance, besides your character being perfect, maybe he/she'll be able to get things easier, have things handled over on a silver platter.

However, what I love is how you suddenly have everyone hate him, as usually in fics with those either everyone suddenly loves him or hates him. Ones with everyone loves him are trying to show that this character is all good and such while ones with everyone hating him wants the reader to feel sorry for him (nothing wrong with that but with everyone just hating him for no reason is stretching a bit far).

My favorite part is when Gary comes to Oak. Wait, he won't give him a Dragonair? =O

Last thing...wow on Gary's mother. Wouldn't want one like her. XD

Again, great work. Cant' wait for more! ^^

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

Wow!

As everyone's said, this is awesome!
It doesn't deal with the craphouse spelling and grammar of noobs, rather on the Gray Stu-ness.
It's pretty awesomely cliched. Well, the name could be more cliched, but yeah...

I suddenly realise how much of this parodies something like my own OT... Lol.

 

[Sydian]

You picked a day where my left shoulder down is hurting really badly to make me laugh? Good timing. -.-

Still loved it though. The unloved Gary Stu and his want of legendaries and bacon...ah. Him and ONIONS and Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III would be great friends.

There were a few scattered replies; most of them simply telling Gary that he was an arrogant blowhard and that he should get bent. However, one of the remarks particularly stood out in his mind, "You're a loser and nobody loves you!"

This part made me hurt worse. Thanks. It had me squealing with laughter, though. You've clearly done your job.

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

Him and ONIONS and Mercedes Benz Over Jr. III would be great friends.

Lol. Sure they would!

Hmm....I read over it....

uber-famous and everyone adores me!"

What? He knows the word uber???? AMAZING!!!!!!

 

[Scarlet Weather]

"Don't I get any breakfast, first? I was hoping to have some bacon before leaving on my voyage of totally super amazing destiny and stuff."

I'm going to be remembered on this forum as "The guy who noticed the bacon conspiracy", aren't I? XD

Seriously, I love it that parts of my guide (especially that one) have found their ways into OT parodies as hilarious as these. I seriously need to include these in a list of links in my signature, once I get around to... y'know, actually getting a banner and a theme. XD

 

[icomeanon6]

Thanks to everyone who commented! And sorry about your shoulder, Silver. -_-;

The next chapter shouldn't be up for a while, mostly because I'd rather work on my main fic first. Also, I need to read more extensively into Thesis's guide to find additional parody-able cliches (you rock, man!)

 

[txteclipse]

You picked a day where my left shoulder down is hurting really badly to make me laugh? Good timing. -.-

Umm...heart attack alert? Don't die on us, triple-s!

I laughed for a while at this. I really don't read OT fics, but I understand all of the cliches involved, where they come from, and how often they are used. This is uber. I have no critiques.

 

[POKEMON_MASTER_0]

I think I like this...it's the second parody I've read that's actually applicable to me (the first parodied the online culture of Metroid Prime Hunters). I haven't written any OT fics, but like everyone here, I have read them.

I think that I liked the last three paragraphs best. Maybe that's because it often reflects how a new writer's OT fic is criticized when they post it. There are a few replies and the majority of them aren't positive.

And then "Gary-Stu" coming back at them. That definitely fits. There has been many a time when I've criticized an OT and the author comes back with a "Give me a break! I'm only (insert age)," or my personal favorite, "The next chapter will be better!"

Of course, I am making a broad generalization when I say that the majority of OT fics are bad. There are a select few that are not and I mean no disrespect to those few and their authors.

I think this is the funniest thing I've read this week. I'll be sure to look out for the next chapter.

 

[DarthWaffles]

Oh wow, a parody fic that is remotly original.

Ermmm, Ok, not that much. BACON FOREVER.

 

[icomeanon6]

Thanks to the absurd amount of time I have on my hands during the summer months, this chapter is up earlier than I expected. However, don't expect another one for at least two weeks because I'm about to start a backpacking trip in New Mexico and I will be a hundred miles away from an internet connection.

Chapter 2

The dirt road that led from Pallet town quickly faded into a field of thoroughly trodden-upon grass, which was what comprised the majority of Route 1. The air was fresh, the bird-like monsters were singing, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. There might as well have been a big sign out in the middle of the place that said "Relax" in large yet comforting letters. Gary wondered what sort of Pokémon he would try to catch first in this peaceful place, paying no mind to the fact that he didn't have a starter and that the few Pokéballs he had were of the weakest kind. However, this lack of good preparation couldn't have fazed Gary at all while the weather was this nice. He sat down at the foot of a small ledge, and decided to simply keep his eyes open for a Pokémon, though he wasn't terribly concerned with catching one at the moment. He had several hours until any of the others from Pallet would show up, so there was no reason to be hasty and run after just any old monster.

That is, there wasn't, until a Pidgey flew overhead and shat on his jacket.

The exact words that Gary used to convey his feelings about this unexpected event are not very becoming of a flawless protagonist, so they will not be listed here. The first letters of these words, however, will: "S…! W…t…f…, y…s…P…!" For those who are unable to interpret those letters, Gary was pretty pissed off about this. So, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and ran after the bird.

Fortunately for Gary, the Pidgey landed in the grass only around thirty yards away. At least, it tried to. You see, this particular Pidgey hadn't quite gotten the hang of prolonged flight yet, and landed squarely on its head. This left the Pidgey quite dazed, and it was staggering woozily when Gary arrived. A normal person might have decided not to capture this Pidgey because it was probably too inept for combat, but Gary Stu was not a normal person. Quickly removing a Pokéball from his backpack, he shouted "Pokéball, go!" When nothing happened, it occurred to Gary that the Pokéball was not voice activated, and that he had to throw it. After he tossed it, the Pokéball hit Pidgey directly on its moderately scrambled skull, and a red light enveloped the creature and brought it inside the ball.

Gary stood still in amazement for a few seconds, and watched as the red light on the Pokéball's central button faded to grey. At this point he let out a triumphant cry, as if to let the empty space around him know that he had triumphed over an inexperienced Pidgey that had possible brain damage. He picked up the ball and placed it on his belt with the knowledge that he was closer to being an actual trainer than ever before.

Gary was about to find some monsters for his Pidgey to fight, when suddenly he saw someone coming from the direction of his hometown. This someone was a ten year old girl, whom Gary had recognized instantly as Professor Oak's granddaughter. She approached Gary and said in her usual friendly tone, "Hello, Gary."

After hearing those words, Gary knew he was destined to be archrivals with this obviously evil girl for all eternity. In order to not give away that he knew of her evil motives, Gary decided to play it safe for now. "Hi. Your name's Blue, right?"

The girl raised an eyebrow and responded, "I'm pretty sure that 'Blue' isn't even a name. I'm Sarah, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Gary was surprised to learn that Sarah wasn't called Blue. Blue just seemed like a natural name for such an immoral person. He was about to ask something that might trick her into giving away her evil plans, but she spoke first.

"My Grandpa told me to give you this," she said as she held out a small, laminated card. "It's your Trainer's License. He said something about how capturing a Pokémon without one is a criminal offense, and then he said something about not having you arrested because he doesn't want to see your face in town again. He can say some pretty mean stuff, but he's really a nice person."

"Oh. Well, thanks." Gary took the card, and checked it over carefully to make sure that his rival hadn't bugged it in any way.

"So, did you catch your first Pokémon? They haven't begun giving out starters in town yet, and I only got my Bulbasaur because I needed to deliver that license before you got too far out."

"You bet I've caught my first Pokémon! Take a look at this guy!" Gary took Pidgey's Pokéball off of his belt, and tossed it on the ground. After a flash of red light, Pidgey appeared in all of his mentally handicapped glory.

Sarah was slightly shocked to look at this monster, and after gasping loudly she knelt down to examine its head. "What did you do this poor little thing?"

Gary said, "That's odd, I thought confusion was supposed to go away after a Pokémon got put inside its ball."

"Confusion, nothing! He's seriously concussed!"

"What? I didn't read anything about that in the strategy guide."

"What the heck are you talking about? He needs to get to a Pokécenter right away! Grandpa doesn't have the facilities to fix head injuries, but I think Viridian City does."

"Alright, I'll start heading there now."

"Not alone, you're not."

"Eh?"

"Pardon me for being slightly condescending, but I don't think you've demonstrated the skills necessary to get to Viridian City by yourself so far. Bulbasaur's in good health, so he and I can make sure that you two get there without Pidgey ending up dead."

If there was one thing that Gary had learned from various fiction forums, it was that he couldn't trust his archrival to be going along with him to Viridian City. However, seeing as his only monster was in near critical condition, he wasn't in a position to be arguing with Sarah at the moment. Sarah handed over Pidgey, and Gary scooped him into his arms. The two novice trainers then began to walk towards the city in what Gary guessed would be the only time that they would ever cooperate in all of history.

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

Wow, cool! A new chapter!

Lol, the evil rival cliche...
Ahaha, Blue...xDDDD

Man, this is awesome! A brain-damaged Pidgey...I wonder if it's smarter than Gary?

 

[txteclipse]

You know those reviews that are nothing but "lolzors this ers hilarioos rite moar!!1!1," and you can't help but despise them because they don't help you in the least as a writer? Well, this is one such review.

lolzors this ers hilarioos rite moar!!1!1

 

[Atomic Reactor]

OMG!
I've never been to this part of PC before... and boy, my first time was a great one.
Your writing is hilarious XD
I can't wait to read more of this parody ^_^
Keep it up!

 

[DarthWaffles]

Hrmm, a mentally ermm, 'challenged' Pidgey for a mentally challenged person. That makes sense. Well, I decided to be useless so,

lolzors this ers hilarioos rite moar!!1!1

 

[icomeanon6]

teh commentz sez dat i'ze hilarioos. weeee!

Chapter 3

The journey to Viridian was undoubtedly more than Gary could have handled on his own. There were plenty of monsters, but Sarah's adeptness at battle strategy brought Bulbasaur through them all with only two small scratches. During the process, she also managed to capture another Pidgey and a Rattata. Gary would have liked to have his less than coherent Pidgey fight a few of these Pokémon, but neither he nor Sarah trusted Pidgey to face the right direction while in battle.

"Don't worry about it," said Sarah at one point. "You can probably come back here to train once we have him healed."

Before long they reached a group of houses and a paved road, a dead giveaway that they had arrived at Viridian City. A few signs directed them easily to the Pokécenter, a very architecturally modern building that stuck out like a sore thumb when compared to the quaint surrounding houses. The two sworn enemies (sort of) entered the clean hospital and walked up to the front desk, where another trainer was just picking up his Pokémon. As he was getting ready to leave, he asked the nurse at the counter, "Hey, didn't you used to work in Celadon City?"

At this point, the pink haired nurse raised a handheld radio to her face and said, "Code 104, we've got a suspicious civilian, request immediate backup."

In less than a second, two large men in black suits and sunglasses entered the room through the ceiling and started dragging the confused trainer into what was labeled as a janitor's closet.

"Hey, what's going on? Where are you taking me? It was just a simple question! I got my rights! I'll expose you one day, nurse, and that copper friend of yours too!! Someday the people will know the truth!!! Vive la revolución!!!!"

After the men in black suits closed the door of the closet, there was a series of unusual noises. Most of them were in the form of various punches and kicks, interrupted by the occasional "I'll never talk!!" or "The people have a right to know, you fascists!!"
After the noise died down, Gary and Sarah approached the front desk. Gary began to say, "Pardon me, but you forgot to answer that man's question, did you used to…"

Fortunately for Gary, Sarah elbowed him hard in the ribs to prevent him from finishing that boneheaded question. She then said, "Just hand over Pidgey, okay?"

The nurse picked up Pidgey, and began to examine him. After noticing that Pidgey's eyes were both facing completely opposite directions, she confirmed that he did in fact have a concussion. She then took him back to the more advanced facilities of the Pokécenter. After a minute, she came back and said, "This could take an hour or so, why don't you two spend some time looking around the city?"

Gary and Sarah exited the Pokécenter and began to walk around. There wasn't much to see in Viridian, so they decided to check out the Gym. If you can't guess what I'm about to say about the Gym, you probably shouldn't even be reading this story. Seriously, if you can't guess, just close your browser and go do something else. Don't keep reading to see what I'm going to say, just leave! Alright, now that that guy's gone, let's get back to that Gym. It was closed. On the door was a sign that said,

To the wonderful people of Viridian City,

Gone to destroy the world and all who inhabit it, will be back soon.

Peace out, love and kisses,

Giovanni

Sarah then said, "That didn't make much sense. I had heard that Giovanni came from a mafia family, but this just seems a little too transparent, right Gary? …Gary?"

Sarah looked around, but Gary was nowhere to be seen. She first wondered if he had gone back to the hospital, but then she noticed him coming up from around a street corner. She asked where he had gone, and he replied, "I noticed this guy in all black passing by, which clearly meant he was a member of Team Rocket. I figured it was my civic duty to follow him for a little ways, and then throw some rocks at him before coming back here."

Sarah was completely shocked at this, and said, "You did what?!"

It was at this point that a man wearing a black collared shirt and dress pants came running from around the corner with a large swollen area on the side of his head. He shouted, "What did you do that for?!"

"Well you see, Mr. Grunt, I didn't have any Pokémon on hand, but I certainly wasn't going to let a member of Team Rocket get away that easily."

"Team Rocket? I'm in the clergy, you little delinquent! Regardless, it's illegal to sic Pokémon on people! I'm going to speak to Officer Jenny about getting your license revoked!"

At this point a young trainer came up to the priest and asked, "Is there a problem here, Father?"

Gary then spoke to this other trainer, "Aha! So you're a paid accomplice of this criminal! I'll defeat you once and for all!"

Gary then turned to Sarah and asked if she could do him a favor and defeat the trainer once and for all. The trainer then said, "I don't mind, I could use the practice. Rattata, go!"

Hoping that the battle would take the priest's mind off of Gary's antisocial actions, Sarah removed a Pokéball from her belt and shouted, "Bulbasaur, go!"

The battle began, and the two trainers gave their commands simultaneously.

"Rattata, make sure you get the first hit, use tackle!"

"Bulbasaur, jump into his attack sideways, you have the weight advantage!"

This would be an awesome spot for a cliffhanger, don't you think?

To be continued…

 

[Buoysel]

This would be an awesome spot for a cliffhanger, don't you think?

To be continued…

Yes it was a good place.

You know those reviews that are nothing but "lolzors this ers hilarioos rite moar!!1!1," and you can't help but despise them because they don't help you in the least as a writer? Well, this is one such review.

lolzors this ers hilarioos rite moar!!1!1

Oh look, another one. Parse is good, <insert parse here>.

 

[TurtleKing]

Haha, this is pretty funny, man. How you snatch all of the cliches out of our fics and plug them into this parody. Funny stuff out there. Fuuuuuunny stuff. I love how Gary attacks the guy in black and how its his duty stop him. Yeah, a ten year old boy completely throttles an evil organization xD. But that's Pokemon for ya! Good job. I'ma follow.

 

[POKEMON_MASTER_0]

Very funny. That's all that I can say in terms of my reaction.

In my fan fic, I also have guys in black suits and sunglasses who run around doing secretive things. They haven't gone as far as to beat revolutionaries up though, lol. Now that I think about it, agents in black suits and sunglasses are borderline cliche. However, I can't think of any other uniform that your modern-day government agent would wear.

Good work. I'll be looking out for the next one.