Holding Grudges/Disliking People

pastelspectre

pastelspectre

Memento Mori★
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    so i was wondering if anyone here has an issue of holding grudges or disliking someone (for any reason).

    i sort..of have an issue of holding grudges or disliking someone for a long time at least. i only really, truly dislike..four people. i dislike two of my exes (one cheated on me, the other didnt accept me for who i was), and one is the guy that my ex cheated on me with. the other is a girl i used to be friends with in middle school but still dislikes me..and i sort of still dislike her, but not as much as i did before. id be willing to be friends with her again but.. she refuses to talk to me. oh well.

    so, heres your questions to start the discussion :)

    do you guys dislike anyone or hold grudges against anyone? if so, who? (if youre comfortable sharing that) and if you do, why? if not, why?
     
    I don't dislike many people, but I do hold a lot of grudges. It's more that I refuse to forget what they did to earn my contempt so that I don't give them an opportunity to do it to me a second time.

    It's probably better if I don't make a list.
     
    When people seriously cross me, I don't tend to forgive them. I strongly dislike an ex of mine because she abused me for years and tried to continue to do so after our breakup. There's a guy who betrayed me and my friends for no reason and led to friend groups falling apart and some of my friends and myself basically having to permanently leave a place we'd loved going to. I really dislike him. I get angry just thinking about these people. There's a handful of others, but those are the biggest ones right now. I try not to hold grudges, but people who do a lot of damage get cut off from my life and if they want to change that, they have to go to the lengths to make amends, because I'm not going to make myself miserable by being around people who think it's okay to be assholes to me or mine.
     
    You shouldn't hate people for not accepting you. But you also shouldn't leave room in your life for them as well lol...

    I don't "hate" people but my coworkers get on my nerves sometimes... a lot of them are kind of lazy and complain about not getting good tips... but they spend a lot of the shift talking... and talking s*** on each other but they're all friends? It feels like a high school lol. I don't really spend a lot of time holding grudges either because I have better things to do I mean if someone crossed me the wrong way and it was really bad i'd be sour or hurt for a set amount of time and then get over it. I like to move on.
     
    I'm just petty tbh
     
    honestly i don't rly hold grudges much. completely different story when i was a bit younger, i was a rly petty child and had a lot of 'wars' with ppl which i would drag on to ridiculous extents. nowadays i'm just too afraid of conflict and being disliked to hold a grudge or anything. there are a few people i dislike for serious reasons, such as having a horrible personality, but i don't think there's anyone who i actually hate! i'm pretty forgiving in general :>
     
    I would definitely hold intense grudges in my teenage years. Nowadays, it really doesn't bother me as much. I guess I just care less about things in general and feel that the energy is better spent elsewhere.
     
    Now this has only happened a couple of times in my life, but if someone does something bad enough to me, I hold a grudge like nothing else and I don't forget. I don't like that aspect of myself as holding onto negativity goes against everything else I do.
     
    Imafroggy said:
    You shouldn't hate people for not accepting you. But you also shouldn't leave room in your life for them as well lol...
    Click to expand...

    i never said i hated my ex, i just..very much dislike him. we were dating for about 4 months and we had been going through a rough patch, since he was being very.. idk, assholeish lately. he didn't accept me for being nonbinary and said he wouldn't accept me for me, or if i ended up transitioning to a boy (which i didnt but, you see my point probably) and i decided i wasn't going to put up with that kind of negative behavior in my life. so i broke up with him and dropped him from my life. that's all.
     
    I used to be very bad about this tbh, I'd hold grudges for a very long time and after a while it felt unhealthy and unproductive.

    I feel like some people are going to be toxic and awful because that's just who they are as people. It's better to cut them out or phase them out than to dwell on why they upset you. Mostly because they're always going to upset you.

    Other people? I try to let things slide and figure they're going through stuff or have their reasons. I dunno, it's hard to explain. I guess I'm fine with letting people be assholes every now and then and get over it rather than waste my time getting mad at every little thing that I don't like or agree with.
     
    Depends on what they did. I rarely hold multiple grudges. Usually one every blue moon. But I try to mainly be chill in my day-to-day life.
     
    Tbh I don't really hold grudges for a lengthy amount of time, nor do I hate anyone really. I did hate my ex cause of the situation in which we broke up, but given time and several chats with her, I don't really dislike her anymore.
     
    Like Adri, I am a fairly petty person. I try not to be, but I am and I cannot help it lol
     
    Holding grudges? Nah, can't do it for my life. I tend to forget what people did to make me angry and I'll go out of my way to make myself believe that I'm better than that if I do remember.

    Disliking people? Hell yes. Honestly I've only hated about three people ever and hatred is for people I legitimately want to do illegal things to. Any other dislike for people is probably because they're getting on my nerves.
     
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