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I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here

We all know it was Aaron
 
Aaron?
No it wasn't.

Don't you dare put the credit on someone else. You wannabe murderers.

It was me! I was the Turkey all along! I took the cookie from the cookie jar and crumbled it! I took out the middle man! I fed the monkey at the zoo! I gave OO7 his watch! I pushed the idea of Sonic 06! I invented DLC! I sabotaged Bethesda's E3 this year! I blew up the building in Grand theft auto! I made the meta knight glitch in Brawl! I created the experiment KIRBY! I punched mac in the face! I wrote that letter to the president! I stole the royal jewels in muppets! I wrote the script for "The Room"! I was Big's voice actor! I killed the Sega Dreamcast! I WAS THE MAN THAT PITCHED TO GEORGE LUCAS THE IDEAS FOR THE PREQUELS!
As for the murder, I can't really help that I didn't do it.
 
okay, 1.) why
2.) how
 
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