I'll Be Mrs...

[Shining Raichu]

Yes, I CSS'd this within an inch of its life. Why? Because I felt like it.

It has long been a tradition that when a man and a woman get married, the woman will take the man's surname as her own. This is of course by no means legally mandatory, but in some sub-cultures even within the Western world a woman is looked down upon if she chooses not to take her husband's name.

Times are changing, and we find ourselves living in a world where we are slowly throwing away our old customs to match our new values. So my questions to you are these:

• Should women be expected to change their name in marriage?
• Is this expectation, or indeed the practice itself, a symbol of female inferiority that no longer applies in our society?
• If you are female, do you intend to change your name when you get married? If you are male, would you want your wife to change her name?
• Above all, should we allow tradition to dictate our future? Just because something has always been done one way, does that mean it should always be done that way?

When posting, please remember: When you list-answer each question, you make the baby Jesus cry. But if you're comfortable with that, then so am I.
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[Truality]

Hm.

First of all, this doesn't happen in Greece. The wife always keeps her surname, it's just the kids that take after the father's surname. However, even if we assumed that your case happened here, too, I'd be confident on my wife's decision. That should be entirely up to her. And I doubt that people would look down upon her for such a petty reason, once again, around these parts.

Though, getting to the big point, I believe that we ought to treasure our traditions but only up to the personal point. Meaning, if I, as a person, would allow traditions to influent me normally, I shouldn't influent others with them myself. That is all.

 

[Mew~]

Should women be expected to change their name in marriage?
I honestly don't see why a woman should have to. If she wants to keep her name she should be able to. That's not what marriage is about, it's they want to own the woman. :x

Is this expectation, or indeed the practice itself, a symbol of female inferiority that no longer applies in our society?
Probably in most countries that are still held up by Theocracy.

If you are female, do you intend to change your name when you get married? If you are male, would you want your wife to change her name?
Well, if I did marry a woman, but I wouldn't care if she wanted to keep her name. That wouldn't be why I would marry her.

Above all, should we allow tradition to dictate our future? Just because something has always been done one way, does that mean it should always be done that way?
This is the 21st century. :x Idk what else to say.

 

[Zeffy]

Here in our country, the wife is expected to change their surname. If not, they may choose to add their husband's surname to their own family by the use of a hyphen. But that rarely happens, and the people who usually does that are celebrities.

No one really questions this tradition here, however. There's no point really, it's not like women will feel inferior when they change their surname. Besides, the woman's family name will still be a part of their name and that's what we Filipinos call "middle name", or mother's maiden name.

 

[Rogue planet]

in some sub-cultures even within the Western world a woman is looked down upon if she chooses not to take her husband's name.

Her own fault for marrying a closed minded man?

It's just up to the couple to come to a shared decision. Even after her divorce, my mum kept her surname from marriage just because she thought it sounded better than her maiden name, and wanted the same surname as her children. It is just a name after all. But I do think it's nice to have your surnames the same when you're a married couple, it's not all about being a sign of oppression, it's a sign of bonding.

If I got married I wouldn't care which one of us changed our names, but I would want us to both share the same surname.

 

[Ivysaur]

Here in Spain it doesn't happen since the midnineties, and I honestly see that as a way to remove the woman's identity. Marrying shouldn't mean you have to drop your family name. It's a sexist leftover that should be forgotten at this point of the world.

 

[Alley Cat]

I honestly don't think they should have to change their last name. It's stupid, pointless. It takes a way a piece of who they are. If they want to, then by all means, let them. But it shouldn't be something so pressured to happen. i'm not female, but if i got married(when it gets legalized) then i might change my name to my husbands aha. if that's what we agree upon, of course. it'd be something to bring us closer together, you know?

 

[Chikara]

Uh wow, this is a thing?

I had no idea people were angry with women who didn't choose to take their husbands name. I know I probably will because my last name sucks and anything would be better but. Wow. Wow, world. Just calm down :|

No, I don't think a woman should be expected to take on her husbands name. But reality is that it's tradition, and some people are old fashioned like that. I can imagine a lot of those people don't even know they're being sexist.

 

[Yoshikkko]

Should women be expected to change their name in marriage?
I don't think that they should be expected to do that, however in some cultures it is. I think she should be able to choose, a name isn't just a tag, it's special.

Is this expectation, or indeed the practice itself, a symbol of female inferiority that no longer applies in our society?
I think so, yes. Look at it from the other side; a male taking a female's name upon marriage. Many people will find that strange, because they view the male as higher in the hierarchy, even though that might be subconscious.

If you are female, do you intend to change your name when you get married? If you are male, would you want your wife to change her name?
I have no idea. It really depends I think, my opinion on this might change when I get older.

Above all, should we allow tradition to dictate our future? Just because something has always been done one way, does that mean it should always be done that way?
I don't agree, but traditions are very important and looked up to in a lot of cultures, and for a good reason. I think that traditions are important, it's part of the culture of a country. But I agree with you on that it shouldn't be the thing that decides our future.

 

[Black Ice]

I'd rather have my wife keep her own name, but ultimately it's whatever she wants I guess. I can't imagine too many people wanting my last name though.

 

[Livewire]

My mom didn't change her name, it's just Hyphenated now. Adopting the husbands name is a very old tradition, so people will still do it. But i don't think the woman should be forced to take her hubby's name. I won't make my wife take mine, unless I change it to something really cool. XD

 

[Oryx]

I intend to take my husband's name for my own reasons outside of tradition, but I still like the idea of the couple sharing a last name. To me, it doesn't matter if it's the woman's or the man's, but I like the unity of two people having a shared bond of their last name, something that you can see even in the most basic of things.

I don't know, it just sounds really nice to me.

 

[Nick]

Is it unnatural for, in a heterosexual relationship, the husband to take the last name of their wife? I think I'm the only person I know who intends to do that. I'm generally very traditional in most standard relationship kinds of things (asking someone to marry them, weddings, etc.) so it's kind of weird for me to admit that. I just don't like my last name and wouldn't wish it upon the one I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I also think it's a very nice dedication to the relationship. I would prefer us to share a surname, however.

 

[Ayselipera]

Should women be expected to change their name in marriage?
No, you might as well do whatever you think sounds nicer with your first name. Seems like the best way to decide!

Is this expectation, or indeed the practice itself, a symbol of female inferiority that no longer applies in our society?
I think it's just one of those tradition things that have been going on for so long that you get used to it and when someone doesn't do it it seems odd.

If you are female, do you intend to change your name when you get married?
If I got married I would only change my last name if it sounded nicer when put with my first name. I dislike my last name as it is already so I see myself changing it unless my future husband's last name is something horrible.

Above all, should we allow tradition to dictate our future? Just because something has always been done one way, does that mean it should always be done that way
Nah just do what you want. Traditions get boring after a while anyways.

 

[Guy]

To me sharing a surname is a way of showing unity between a married couple. It's a nice thought, but if a woman wishes to keep her initial surname, then I hold nothing against her choice. It's a very old tradition for a woman to carry on her husband's surname after marriage. However, tradition or not, we're living in the twenty-first century and I personally believe that a person shouldn't have to carry on a name that they wish not to have.

Personally, if I were a woman and I was to carry on my husband's last name, then I'd want to make sure it has a nice ring to it with the rest of my name. If not, then I'd prefer to keep my own surname thank you very much. And this isn't a sign of disrespect or shame of my spouse, which is sometimes a reason why something like this can be looked down upon, but a preferable choice. A name does not make a relationship nor does it signify the level of two's compassion for one another.

As for tradition, I consider it something important and of value, but like it's been said before, it shouldn't dictate the shape of our future. If we always followed tradition and didn't stray from the path, then we'd never have made the changes or discoveries we have today.

 

[Melody]

My feelings align with the prevailing winds of opinion within this thread. The choice is purely a woman's to make, and anyone who would dare look down upon her is mired in antiquity and deserves to be roundly ignored and shunned.

Taking on the same name (The man's) obviously has it's purposes, this is true...however there are also reasons one might not want to take on the same name. There may be reasons why you want to use a hyphenated name or even the woman's maiden name alone. That is a legal detail that the couple should discuss before getting married and it concerns no one else really.

 

[Sydian]

Having the same last name is, in my opinion, a part of the ceremony and joining of the couple. I mean, if the girl has like, a kick ass last name and would like to keep it, then okay. But I don't know, I think it's nice to take on the man's last name. If she doesn't want to though, then that's fine. But then it just looks a bit odd when they have two different last names. But ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide that. It's not like it's illegal for the woman to keep her last name. I have a family friend that kept hers. So eh.

Edit: I, personally, would like to move up in the alphabetical order. School was a pain in the butt being in nearly dead last. And don't get me started about graduation. So let me find me an A surname man!

 

[Margot]

I don't think it's needed, and I've actually had a hard time deciding what I would want to do with my last name. For me, it's more of a heritage thing because I already feel separated enough from my roots and heritage and I'm the only female (aside from my mom) over here in America with my last name in my family and I would feel weird changing it. However, I also think it's nice to take your husband's name if you marry him. So, I'll probably end up hyphenating my name.

 

[FalconsDrummer]

My fiancée and I never actually had a conversation about whether she is going to take my name, but she already told me she is going to. I had always planned to make it entirely her choice anyway. She says her reason is that she likes the tradition. I agree, because having the same name is one way in which the two people are joined to become one family, in my opinion. But it's certainly not a requirement in order to be a family.

 

[Bluerang1]

It's the unity, having a family united by one name. I want my future wife to take my last name even though its ethnic and she may oppose though I hope not. If she doesn't want to, what can I do heh? It's their choice. But it's mean they won't really be a Mrs. Xxxxx always Ms.