If something goes down the drain then it obviously didn't mean all that much, is my way of looking at it. Things like love are supposed to last, and if they don't last then they were never really love. Maybe it felt like it, and maybe it came close, but if there was love, then why hasn't it been strong enough to push through any difficulties or disagreements? That cliche "love conquers all" phrase has more truth to it than people realise, I think.
I realise other people may not share that perspective, but I have found there is enough bitterness in life without thinking about all these people who ultimately abandon you and obviously don't consider you as important as you consider them, because that will account for pretty much everyone you meet in life. If I focused on all the people who have abandoned me and stabbed me in the back then I wouldn't still have the one person who hasn't. If something no longer matters, I prefer to dismiss it and write it off as an individual failure unique to that person than take it as a failure indicative of what might happen in the future under similar circumstances.
I suppose my view of love is very absolute because of my mindset to things. Love is unconditional, and enduring irrespective of circumstances. It doesn't have to be mutual, either...in fact, it is a far purer feeling if it is unrequited, because it's something that exists within you even though it has no real benefit for you as an individual, and love is never conditional. Love between two people often IS conditional in the sense that if one person stops feeling that then the other one does as well, so it stops being love and becomes...something else. Intense mutual dependency, perhaps. The feeling is never enough if it's returned, which from my perspective taints it. I know people like to define love in various different ways and think of it as being something of many types, and I suppose for some people it is, but it's never been like that for me, and since feelings are entirely a matter of individual perspective...eh. For me it represents an uncompromising and enduring appreciation for an individual, and an altruistic desire to do things for them. The only way it changes is to grow the more you learn about someone. In brief. I could go on, but I won't.
I suppose I set very tight conditions, but doing so lessens the impact of failed relationships - because they were, in hindsight, obviously going to fail, and weren't what I mistook them for, because if they were they'd still be going - and means that, when you DO get it right it's far more satisfying and...special, I guess. Focus on it when it matters, dismiss it when it doesn't.
I've never really looked for it, though. Mostly because I don't deserve it, and I've grown accustomed to being alone, because I don't really have friends either. I've actually found it harder to adjust to having someone there than not.
