Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Negative-Zero]

Granted, but it is your past self, so when you kill it, you die too

i wish that i could blow up stuff by touching it

 

[Aizuke]

Granted, but now you can't turn the power off and EVERYTHING you touch blows up. Even people.

I wish my tummy didn't hurt.

 

[nm legend]

granted but now you got AIDS

uhhh i wish the dolhpins beat the patriots this monday comin up

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It was a fixed game due to this wish. Rage ensues when it is uncovered.

I wish for a puzzle.

 

[donavannj]

Granted, but it's horribly complex and you'll die if you don't solve it in time. D:

I wish for a lifetime's supply of candy. :D

 

[nm legend]

granted but now you got no teeth

i wish i could fly....

 

[donavannj]

Granted, but it's only for five minutes, and then you realize that you were actually falling from a very high point and not flying, and you receive life-threatening injuries from the resulting crash. Miraculously, you didn't die.

I wish to possess Akamatsu-sensei's signature.

 

[PG Tips]

Granted, but every time you make it you're being forced to draw nude breasts.

Just like good ol' Akamatsu-sensei.

I wish to remember when Don's birthday is.

 

[Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog]

Granted, but you can only remember by asking him.

I wish I had more toast.

 

[chickenofunity]

Granted but it is burnt.

I wish I had secret toast and jam.

 

[Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog]

Granted, but the jam was on the bread when it was put in the toaster and now it's all charred.

I wish I could get my printer to work.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. Put it on top of some papers. You've got a working paperweight!

I wish for a warmer jacket.

 

[Pokedragonking]

Granted. Your jacket is now on fire, charring your skin as you flail about in blazing warm pain and death.

I wish my computer's videochat would freaken work.

 

[Garouga! Bare Your Fangs!]

Granted. It works, but now you're the only witness to a brutal double homicide that you could do nothing to prevent.

I wish to take revenge on Rachael Ray and the Food Network. (Yeah, I'm watching Metalocalypse. <3)

 

[Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog]

Granted, but they get revenge back on you and Rachel Ray force feeds you some food that's really nasty even though she says it's totally "yummo!"

I wish I could afford to fill my basement with old computers.

 

[Pokedragonking]

Buahahabananahaha!

Granted. You rob Fort Knox, and they never find what you stole. Unfortunately, you don't get away as easy, and your incredible wealth is found by a curious hobo. YAY MONEY!

I wish I had a black leather trenchcoat.

 

[Kitsune Genetica]

Granted, but then you find the pockets are full of deadly South American hobo spiders.

I wish somebody would fix my broken iPod.

 

[Haunted House of Onyx]

Granted, but the guy who fixed it was a psychopath and caused it to detonate after to turn the thing on.

I wish for world peace!

 

[rafaeldias]

Granted, but then an huge meteor crashes with the earth!
I wish for...hm...to be a rockstar! xD

 

[Charizard632]

Not granted. The sentence you said is incorrect in grammar.

I wish for an obsolete computer.