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Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

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Granted. Your mind is now scarred for life due to all the disturbing thing you now know.

I wish for for some strawberry milk.
 
Granted but the thing is so damn elastic that you keep hitting yourself.

I wish to be as awesome as metallica but without the drugs and alcohol.
 
Granted, but you get sucked into alcohol anyway.

I wish for a hippopotamus as a pet.
 
Good girl for wishing something that cool but thank to me i remind you that hippopatamus have a hunger for humans larger then any other hunger. And we never saw Nashua post again.
I wish for a perfect world consisting of metal bands and all the hot girls that the eye can see. Yes i am being completely randomly centered on metal bands and babes today XD
 
Granted, but the metal bands and babes are ALL replaced by pipe bands and old ladies[no offense to any of you that like this combination].

I wish for a nice salad.
 
Granted but oh well the wishmaker heard wrong and gave you an ice salad. I wish for a second kebab.
 
Granted but someone has already eaten it.

I wish for my mind to stop running out of ideas.
 
Granted but so many ideas make your brain splode.
I wish for more mushrooms and basmati rice please!
 
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