Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Peeky Chew]

Granted, but now you're the enemy.

I wish the dead pixel in the centre of the screen was still alive.

 

[riddleraven]

Granted. But now it's coming to eat you.

I wish I could win a free trip to Japan!

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's to stand trial for theft and piracy.

I wish for a Royal Flush!

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but you're not royal at all, so it refuses to be used by you :o

I wish for sex, drugs and rock'n'roll!

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. Enjoy your child that you'll have to support and the mental damage sustained through the drug use. The rock and roll's pretty cool though.

I wish for 60's OLD BLOOD.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but it backfires.. somehow :D

I wish the moon was purple >_>

 

[lx_theo]

Granted, but then a wave reaching the moon hits it and washes off the paint

I wish 2+2 actually equaled fish.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but 3+3 equals whale now.

I wish cupcakes weren't illegal.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

They're not. This becomes a freecupcake Amsterdam. Everyone gets high off drug-laced cupcakes and dies.


I wish I had a yukkuri. No, really, I do.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but it eats you >:D

I wish someone hugged me right now ( /^^)/

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's Chuck Norris. His hugs are so manly that the bones of your unborn baby will be broken by it as well.

I wish for a Sunset Beach.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but the sun burns your skin.

I wish I could have another hug \(^^\ ) Oh crap, CHuck Norris \(ʘ ʘ\ )

 

[Team_SJK]

Granted. This time it's not Chuck Norris, it's an overly aggressive Ursaring. Talk about a bear hug. :P

Having two left feet (that's a figure of speech, btw), I wish I could dance like this:

Clip from Rush Hour (1998), rated PG-13 for violence and language.
You don't have to watch the whole clip. Between 10 and 21 seconds will suffice.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, altho I didn't click the link. But therefore, you can't dance like that after all ( '-')b

I wish ʘ was on the usual keyboard. Then, making emoticons would be so much easier.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_Plague_of_1518
You cause a dancing plague.

Way to go.



I wish I could join in said Dancing Plague!

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but as you got beaten, not granted.

I wish for cute sick kittens ;D

 

[lx_theo]

Granted but they die before you can get a good look at them (and their death involves them exploding and splattering all over you) ... Too Far?

I wish the world was flat

 

[Team_SJK]

Granted, altho I didn't click the link. But therefore, you can't dance like that after all ( '-')b

I can't dance, period. I can't sing, either. I'm just standing here, selling everything.
Sorry about that. I just couldn't pass up the reference to an old song by Phil Collins.

Granted but they die before you can get a good look at them (and their death involves them exploding and splattering all over you) ... Too Far?

I wish the world was flat

Granted. Then you fall of the face of the earth after setting a course for Japan.

I wish my computer was so powerful that it would throw me back into my chair every time I get on the internet.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but the computer is so powerful it understands you don't really want that, so it reverts to its usual, suckish form :D

I still wish ʘ was on the usual keyboard. Then, making emoticons would be so much easier.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Granted, but the new shape of the keyboard makes it structurally unstable, so it breaks on the first use.

I wish I had an actual cartridge for Touhoumon.