Misunderstandings

[Alexander Nicholi]

Communication is a critical part of everyday life for humans. Most all of the time we're communicating with one another in some fashion or another. Things don't always go as planned though, and when you have problems with communication everything around you can head south fast.

This thread is about those things - misunderstandings. What they call communication errors. Well, surely you deal with some in and out if not frequently... how do you handle it? How bad have things got for you on an occasion? Are you just really good with words, or maybe you like to people-please? What's up?

 

[Poki]

It's funny 'cause 98% of my friendships ended due to stupid misunderstandings. :')

 

[Blastedoise]

I only remember, i always like to reply with 1-3 Sentences. The odd thing, is people don't know if i mean it in the good or bad way.

 

[Bobbylicious]

a few years ago everyone thought i hated this guy when i didn't i had just never had a guy friend in a long time so i didnt know how to act around him so i posted on fb "i dont hate [name]" (he didnt have fb at the time) and then some lil shit told him i posted on fb that i hated him and he tried to bash me and then he got so paranoid and accused me of pretending to be gay to steal his gf from him (wtf?) and then i didnt talk to him and he tried to get me suspended


we are out of HS now and are mature so we're friends but that was so fucking stupid omf

 

[Dracowyn]

Well if there are any miscommunications, I always want to talk them out.
I'm not the sort of person who'd just let it be. I always want to solve problems especially with my friends and want to hear their side to get a better understanding about the situation.

Well, there's been one exception to that, but that doesn't matter anymore now.

 

[Unwoken Dream]

People often misunderstand me by assuming I have malicious intent whenever I speak and even more so when I don't speak.
I have a lot of altercations with others because for some reason they think I'm trying to belittle and/or patronize them which is actually frightening, because to know that no matter how you approach someone there's something you've done wrong. There will ALWAYS be misunderstandings due to this expectancy that we must always act calmly and not impulsively as to not give off the wrong vibe. I'm not the type to say what's on my mind " Calmly ", I'm usually flustered to begin with and people tend to pick at minor things, so my inability to be composed worsens.

As far as " handling " it. . to me there's just no way to resolve or restore the situation once someone thinks badly of you, so I tend to quit interacting with people once they consider me to be a detriment. I've learned overtime there may be a momentary fix for that particular affair, but It'll more than likely resurface itself because in the back on those individuals mind you ARE that way to them and they'll never let go of it. You'll continue to be misunderstood since they've convinced themselves that your purpose is to make them feel a certain way . . It's a lose-lose situation IMO.


I'm BAD with words, I mean sooooooooooooooooooooooo bad when it comes to other people.
I don't necessarily like to please people but I definitely don't like to make people sad/mad but regardless of my intentions things just don't go accordingly.
In most cases I just feel more and more obligated to remain in seclusion for the remainder of my life because nothing I do works. >.<

 

[Kura]

Honestly, I readdress and I clarify. I try and find common ground.

Like recently, someone made a joke which mocked some of my work. Instead of moping beside it, I pulled him aside at a point where it was private to do so, and asked why he said the things he did, and also mentioned that I had done that work and if he was aware. His face was one of pure shock. It was old prototype work done a year ago, and the only thing he was mocking was the actual physics aspect of it, and not the work itself. He apologized profusely and I accepted because I could tell by his reaction that he was being honest.

Sorted.

If there's a problem, clarification is best. I do my best to let others know that I am open for re-discussion of a topic, and I like to think I'm fair and listen intently.


I think the only things people misunderstand is my "concentrating face" which is apparently scary haha! And it makes people think I am either crazy-busy or angry! I blame it on forgetting to blink when I'm doing something focused on a computer.

 

[pkmin3033]

If I'm not sure what someone means by what they're saying, I ask. Even if it's inappropriate/awkward to do so. I'd prefer a little embarrassment to what could potentially be a full-blown shouting match...well, metaphorically speaking. It's easier to head things off than it is try to unravel them when they happen.

I ask people to do the same with me, but as they rarely do for assorted reasons, I tend to be very specific and/or long-winded when I'm trying to make a point. It's impossible to say something that can't be misinterpreted, although that doesn't stop me from trying.

I take the view that if people misunderstand me then that is their problem and not mine, but all the same I prefer to avoid these things where possible...they're such a nuisance to sort out, as you typically have to do even more roundabout explaining just to find out exactly what the hell the other person was thinking when they misinterpreted you.

I'm frequently misunderstood though, even though I'm not a very complex person. People often assume I'm pissed off about something, or annoyed with them for some weird reason, when they've done absolutely nothing to warrant it and I have told them - more than once - that if I am annoyed with them, I will outright tell them. I think it's mostly because I don't react the way people expect me to a lot of the time - my default state is one of apathy, and it takes a lot to break me out of it - or because I take such care in explaining things. I can come across as uptight, although that's just me trying to avoid giving unintended offense with blunt words.