Arcelio
This was a triumph.
- 241
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 33
- Currently residing in the Johto region.
- Seen Mar 1, 2025
Well, I'm bored again, so I figure that I might as well continue where I left off.
Name: Totodile
Gender: Male
Type: Water
Attacks: Scratch/Leer/Water Gun/Rage
Level: 9
- After entering Cherrygrove, I was attacked by an extremely excited old man that wanted to, and I quote, 'teach me a few things'. Out of pure fear, I follow the man, but make sure that he doesn't walk behind me. He tries anything, Totodile's eating him instead of an Oran Berry.
- Old man gave me some Running Shoes, which confuses me. So, in this entire world, you need to have these type of shoes to run? What happens if you don't; you get arrested? Yeah, because the police force in Pokémon World is obviously effective. That's why Giovanni, Team Rocket, Team Magma and Aqua, and Team Galactic were so successful. They weren't powerful, but the police, apparently, don't do anything.
- Why exactly did the old man show me his house? Totodile... Okay, now he gave me a Map Card, which should come in handy when I'm trying to avoid these thinly veiled pedophiles. Once again, what the hell does the police force do?
- Took a break to read the hilarious 'Let's Play' or Pokémon Firered. https://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Pokemon%20FireRed/Update%201/index.htmlEveryone should read this version. Had me laughing for days.
- Turned on my iPod, and searched through all my music to find the 'The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya' Original Soundtrack. I don't know why, but I keep finding Japanese music really catchy these days.
- Walked in the tall grass, and found a brown pigeon, even browner than the other one. It growled at Totodile, which led to the devouring of its soul. Maybe I should keep Totodile on a leash...?
- Found a Potion lying on the ground. Okay, seriously, who keeps dropping all this crap on the ground? Seriously, why don't you just take a Max Repel and spray it at the sky if you want to jump-start global warming, you prick.
- Found another tree that refuses to give me things. If I had Cyndaquil, I would burn all these trees to the ground. Wait, wouldn't that mean I'm just as bad as the guy that keeps dropping items...
![[PokeCommunity.com] Monotype Challenge (Ver. 2.0) [PokeCommunity.com] Monotype Challenge (Ver. 2.0)](https://forum.vgcats.com/images/smilies/emotpsypopcy1.gif)
- This strange man literally starts screaming at me because I didn't barge into his house. He's so lucky Totodile doesn't like the taste of *******s, otherwise I'd have him attack this maniac. Then, he says something about our meeting being 'meant to be' or something. Can this be a meeting? I thought a meeting was when both parties actually give a damn what the other has to say. Dude gives me a box, as if I don't have enough crap to lug around. Does no one realize that a ten-year-old boy isn't that strong? I swear, this whole quest has to fall under some section of child-abuse.
- I found an Antidote. I'm going to laugh if I someone dropped this after their Pokémon was Badly Poisoned.
- This Youngster brat started yelling at me, even though he was getting his ass kicked in a battle. What a prick. And, to top it off, they won't let me through. Why I can't just pull myself over the ledge is anyone's guess. Maybe I just lack the upper body strength...
- Another one of these damn mutated purple rats. Totodile, just... you know what? Screw it. Do whatever the hell it is that you do that kills everything you touch.
- After the battle, if you can call it that, Totodile Leveled-Up. This proves that hurting other people makes you better than them. I would say that the rat can testify for that, but... dead rats tell no tails (It's a pun. Laugh, dammit).
- I found another weird pigeon, but this one had sparkles around it at first. That means that it's somehow related to the sparkling vampire, Edward Cullen! I... must... kill!
- Killed the worst character ever created, and just kept on walking. As I destroyed it, I think I saw some respect in Totodile's eyes. This proves that everything, be it human or Pokémon, hates Twilight. No exceptions.
- Finally arrived at Mr. Pokémon's house. Seriously, there's no way that this guy's real name is Pokémon. No-freaking-way. He's named after an entire race of suped-up killing machines? Okay then. Just call me Gold Skynet while you're at it, you pretentious ass.
- Mr. Pretentious gives me an Egg, that supposedly, has a Pokémon in it. So all Pokémon come from Eggs, huh? Explain Mewtwo then, know-it-all. Then, to top it off, the old guy forces me to rest at his house. Can you freaking believe it? I'm turning this Egg into an omelet the next chance I get.
- Prof. Oak tells me that... wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a damn second. Prof. Oak? That's two damn Prof. that I've met in just one day. How many of you are there? And why the hell are you in Johto? Isn't the Magnet Train broken?
- Anyways, Prof. Oak gives me a Pokédex. I wonder if I can get WiFi service on this thing. Why didn't he just create a PokéGear Card that has all the data for the PokéDex and give that to me instead? People really don't think things through, do they? Then, this old Prof. orders me to go out and meet new Pokémon. Are you kidding? I've met five of them so far, one of which is a vicious killer, two of them are pigeons, and two are mutated members of the rat family. And you want me to go and see more of them? Right before he leaves, he demands my phone number. You know, it just seems like I should stop giving out my number to suspected pedophiles.
- Prof. Elm calls me. Apparently, there's a problem at the Lab. Maybe the FBI finally found his hard-drive of CP, and he needs me to bail him out? Nah, I'm not that lucky.
- On the way back, Totodile Leveled-Up and learned Rage. Wait... so Totodile didn't already know Rage? He was just that pissed off normally?! Oh crap...
- Well, well, well. If it isn't the rude, redheaded kid. What the hell do you want? Did you just call me a wimp? My Pokémon kills things. What does yours do, other than play with the stupid leaf on its skull? And why the hell did your parents name you Passerby Boy? Do they seriously hate you that much? Judging by how much of a prick you are, I'd have to say yes.
- I then proceeded to beat Passerby Boy like the redheaded stepchild that he really is. Serves him right for calling me a wimp. He asks me if I want to know who he is, then he doesn't even give me enough time to answer 'I don't give a crap'. Seriously, it's rude to ask questions, and then answer them without letting the other person talk. But I guess that's why your father abandoned you (SPOILER... wait... maybe that should have gone before the spoiler... crap).
- Also, before he left, I robbed his punk-ass. Stole his trainer card, and saw his name. Apparently, his parents weren't cruel enough to name him Passerby Boy, instead choosing to name him Silver. And I'm Gold. And the last Pokémon League Champion was Red, while the Viridian City Gym Leader is Blue. What the hell are our parents smoking when they decided to name us after colors? Are all our parents hippies or something?
- I can finally steal from trees! Take that, Nature! Man triumphs once again! Apparently, you can't rob the same tree twice in one day. I'll be back tomorrow, mother****er. Made it back to New Bark Town, and entered the Pokémon Lab.
- Holy crap, it's a cop! Did Elm really get busted for CP? Nope, as usual, the cops try to arrest me
cause I'm black. Not-Crys steps in and yells at the cop, saying how Silver was the real culprit, or something. The cop asks me for a name, and if Silver wasn't such a prick earlier, I wouldn't have said anything. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. Good luck with the Party Van coming after you, Silver.
- After the 5-0 leave, I show Elm the Egg. He was freaking out badly. You'd swear he'd never seen an Egg before. Then he tells me he knew I was different, and that things are going to get fun. Needless to say, I quickly got the hell out of that Lab, and left New Bark Town. Stupid damn pedophile professors.
- As soon as I leave town, Lyra hands me my balls, and teaches me how to catch monsters... like it's that freaking hard. You hit them, they get weak, then you take out your balls and throw them at the monster. Once again, I'm not an idiot. After giving me back my balls, Lyra leaves to god-knows-where. Good riddance. That Marill was about to get the ass-kicking of a lifetime after the stunt it pulled earlier.
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Name: Totodile
Gender: Male
Type: Water
Attacks: Scratch/Leer/Water Gun/Rage
Level: 9
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