• Ever thought it'd be cool to have your art, writing, or challenge runs featured on PokéCommunity? Click here for info - we'd love to spotlight your work!
  • Our weekly protagonist poll is now up! Vote for your favorite Trading Card Game 2 protagonist in the poll by clicking here.
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.
    Register

My poems- Once again XD

Omg, everything you said there I was thinking XD
Especiall the "Without sound" part... I was thinking I could change it to "With no sound" whatcha think? ^_^
 
Awwwwws. <3 *glomps*

Let's have a look see, shall we?
"Falling, falling, with no sound."

Well, I think it sounds better than "without sound", and either way, whether you have it be "with no sound" or "without a sound" shall sound wonderful once you read it through. ^________^

~Kelsey
 
Naw your right...I had to change it your right it does sound better ^__^ Thanks Kels!
 
^_^ I got another one done today! I hope you enjoy it!

Solitary Rebel

I am the one, left in the dark,
The one forgotten, from the start.
This is my life, a lonesome one,
Without color, without a sun.
I am a rebel, left behind,
Rejected from human-kind.
But I won't give in, I'm gonna' keep fighting,
I won't stop running, I won't start crying.
No one controls me, 'cuz I'm alone,
Don't care if its dark, or if its cold.
But I'll still be here, haunting your mind.
And there's nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.
And then you'll see how things can be,
When you cannot escape, these dead dreams.
An empty world, is where I stand,
Of dried oceans, and arid land.
There is nothing here, only me,
A downed rebel with a doomed destiny.
 
Last edited:
Eliana said:
^_^ I got another one done today! I hope you enjoy it!

Solitary Rebel

I am the one, left in the dark,
The one forgotten, from the start.
This is my life, a lonesome one,
Without color, without a sun.
I am a rebel, left behind,
Rejected from human-kind.
But I won't give in, I'm gonna' keep fighting,
I won't stop running, I won't start crying.
No one controls me, 'cuz I'm alone,
Don't care if its dark, or if its cold.
But I'l(I'll) still be here, haunting your mind.
And there's nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.
And then you'll see how things can be,
When you cannot escape, these dead dreams.
An empty world, is where I stand,
Of dried oceans, and arid land.
There is nothing here, only me,
A downed rebel, with a doomed destiny.
Click to expand...

Ooh, this one's cool. ^_____^ I have a problem with one line however:
"A downed rebel, with a doomed destiny." Did you possibly mean for 'downed' to be 'drowned'? ^o^

Also, in this line:
"When you cannot escape, these dead dreams." The comma you have in this line tends to throw off the flow, making the rest of the poem kinda disoriented. ^^; So, I'd just recommend taking this out and see how it runs through then. ^___^

This poem had a lot of meaning to it. It made me think of a soldier, who feels that his fate has been sealed, yet doesn't seem to give up on the rest of his troops. He knows they can pull through. Even though he feels this is the end for him, he keeps on fighting until his very last breath.

Awsome poem yet again Eli! Wootness, go you! XD *glomps*

~Kelsey
 
^_^
Kels, I put 'downed' because its like a "fallen rebel"
I was considering putting in "drowned" though. ^^ Yeah it is kinda like a soldier! thanks!
 
I figured you meant 'downed' but I wasn't sure. It makes sense either way, I'm just making sure I'm not already having malfunctions. XD I can't wait for teh next poem Eli. ^o^

~Kelsey
 
^_^ I just need to be inspired XD
 
Allright, I have a new one! Enjoy!

Time

Summer dies, winter?s born,
Empires built, countries torn.
Unknown fates, and broken doors,
All results of time and war.
Time is merciless, unforgiving,
Always moving, continues killing.
Time never pauses, never ends,
Creator of life, bringer of dread.
Both angel and devil, dark and light,
Fire and water, day and night.
I learn to live, with this plight,
Which is eternally bound, to my life.
 
Eliana said:
^_^ I just got one done...its short but whatever XD

Falling

Falling, falling, from the trees,
Leaves of red, leaves of green.
Falling, falling, to the ground,
They fall in silence, with no sound.
Falling, falling, forever light,
Falling, falling, into the night.
Click to expand...
Great Poem Eli!10/10

~James
 
xD thanks! any feedback, comments...? XD
 
Allright...I have a new poem.. ^_^

Two Roses

In a garden, late one night,
Two roses grew, one red one white.
Always together, side by side,
For years and years, they never died.
Through dark through light,
One red one white.
They never left the others side.
But then one day, a gardner came,
And picked the white, and went away.
No longer do two roses stand,
One white one red, hand in hand.
The red rose stands, all alone,
Without its beloved, the one white rose.
 
I loved it, I kinda got it all metaforic ^^" (or was that the intention?)

It was brilliant! I hope I could write such great poems one day =D

Nice, you can actually feel the lonesome-ness. How the red rose must have feeled. *sigh*

Thumbs up! ^_^
 
Well, I believe thats how it is supposed to be...
I got this from a Hebrew Song, called 2 Roses( xD)
Its a long song, but I summed it up in English...

Thanks! ^^
 
Eliana said:
Allright...I have a new poem.. ^_^

Two Roses

In a garden, late one night,
Two roses grew, one red one white.
Always together, side by side,
For years and years, they never died.
Through dark through light,
One red one white.
They never left the others side.
But then one day, a gardner came,
And picked the white, and went away.
No longer do two roses stand,
One white one red, hand in hand.
The red rose stands, all alone,
Without its beloved, the one white rose.
Click to expand...

Awwwwwwwwwwwws, this poem is magnificent, Eli! ^_________^

I love this picture you get from it: two beautiful, seemingly carefree roses (lovers) who never left each others' side. ^^ Through each day they saw the other through it, and never seemed to have any worries.

But then, one lover is swept away, and the two part, not even getting to share a final kiss goodbye. Awwwws, it makes me sad! ;0; But it's so very good. ^^

Great work yet again Eli my dear, keep it up! ^o^

~Kelsey
 
Yeah! Thats exactly it! ^0^ thanks Kels! did ya read the other one? =3
 
Eliana said:
Allright, I have a new one! Enjoy!

Time

Summer dies, winter?s born,
Empires built, countries torn.
Unknown fates, and broken doors,
All results of time and war.
Time is merciless, unforgiving,
Always moving, continues killing.
Time never pauses, never ends,
Creator of life, bringer of dread.
Both angel and devil, dark and light,
Fire and water, day and night.
I learn to live, with this plight,
Which is eternally bound, to my life.
Click to expand...

Ooooh, this one's really good too, Eli. ^o^ It shows how time keeps moving, it never stops, nor does it wait for anyone who need more time to catch up.

Time does bring life, but as time passes on you are one step closer to death. But in spite of that, people have learned to live and make do with what little time they have here on earth, which is, perhaps, life's greatest gift of all. <3<3

Nicely done once again Eli! *huggles*

~Kelsey
 
=3 thanks....*has another idea brewing in her mind*
 
^^ Got another done...

Poison of Love

There's a reason why I choose stay,
Away from love, and its terrible ways.
I've seen it good, but mostly bad,
It wreaks destruction, in its path.
It turns people into monsters, and tears them apart,
Leaves them alone, with broken hearts.
But why must love leave them so fast?
Shouldn't love forever last?
Why can't they think about the good times they had?
And just move on, forget the past.
And I could have stopped tragedy,
But I failed in agony,
And I started it all,
And I watched them fall.
I should have been there, to stop the fight.
And I should have been there, to show them the light.
And trickling down, drops of blood,
'Tis the poison, the poison of love.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top