Second Chances

-Jared-

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    How do you feel about second chances?

    When someone has committed a wrong, how do you feel about giving them a chance to prove themselves? Do you feel that every person deserves a chance to change and prove themselves, or do you think that they lost their chance to prove themselves the first time the committed their wrong? Does it matter what type of wrong it is, whether it be a minor or major offense?

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    Logically, I approve of second chances because it gives an opportunity to demonstrate that a lesson was learned, but when in application, well... I hold grudges and I'm extremely stubborn so... not a second chance kind of guy right here. Sorry if that's kind of paradoxical?

    On the other hand, I always deserve second chances xD
     
    I rarely give second chances to people that I am neutral with and very rarely give second chances to people that I do not like. I tend to hold grudges because that is the type of person I am. But many people tell me that I should give everyone second chances because you can see a new person in them or they could have learned a lesson that got me pissed to begin with--I might start using this.


    :t354:TG
     
    Depending on what wrong the person did, I might give them a second chance if they didn't do anything severe, or not give them one at all.
     
    I believe it depends on the person. Is it someone who will ACTUALLY change for a second chance, or lie just to do the same wrong twice? A good person deserves a second chance, but there are bad people out there.
     
    i like giving lots of chances till the last chance i give..then it's hard if it's impossible to give any chances after that..but yeah people deserve chance if their mistakes weren't so big..maybe it depends on the fault cuz in betray i can't forgive
     
    I'm reallyreallyreallyreallyreally stubborn when it comes to forgiving people. When someone does me wrong, I get so mad I just don't feel like forgiving the person right after. I tend to keep a grudge for a long time until I'm like "ugh, whatever. old news anyways".

    But then, sometimes I'm scared that if I *forgive* the person, they'll do me wrong again regardless. And that just annoys the hay out of me. I've been in that situation many many times. I forgive, and they'll come right back. This is pretty much why I refuse to give out second chances sometimes. I'm really that stubborn.
     
    Second chances are fine by me, as long as they really seem to be asking for one. Third chances as well. Chances are, there won't be a fourth.
     
    It really depends on the circumstances and the people involved. I used to hand out second chances like there was no tomorrow, now I just figured someone who ****s up so bad they need a "second chance" isn't worth wasting time with.
     
    It depends. The person who did it and how serious was the bad thing. I give some 2nd chances to some people. If I don't like the person's character, then I wont give it.
     
    Depends on how serious it is, if it's minor like drinking my beer by accident then I usually don't mind all that much to begin with.
     
    I'm a huge proponent of second chances. I've always been one to forgive fairly easily because I'm not a huge fan of holding grudges but even outside of that, how do you know that somebody is still the person they were during their "first chance" if you don't give them a second to prove otherwise? I don't like writing people off unless I'm absolutely sure they're incapable of change.
     
    Answer my own thread time. :P

    I pretty much always give second chances. Like others have said, there is no way to learn if someone has really learned anything and changed unless you give them a second chance. And besides, everyone pretty much deserves a second chance, even if maybe they haven't actually learned anything.
     
    I give second chances, unless you ****ed up pretty bad and ruined my life and how I feel about certain things in ways I can't control or change. Or if you do something like that to someone else, of course. Other than those rare occasions, I am very forgiving. Too forgiving.
     
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    Well, since I've done some pretty stupid and bad things, and people gave me a second chance, it'd be hypocritical of mine not to give people one.
    But even before that I gave them already, I am the forgiving kind.
     
    It's tough for me to answer this question because I don't have any recent experience on the issue.
    I mean, I used to have situations where I would get so upset with someone for breaking my trust that I would just say no going back and be very stubborn and adamant about not giving the person a second chance, even if they practically begged. However I have different ideas and opinions now than I did then so I don't think I would necessarily do that today.

    Now like I was saying, it's been a while since someone has abused their first chance with me, so I can't be for sure, but I definitely would want to give the person a second chance, and I would try to. However, in substance, I always feel a certain awkwardness with someone when my trust is betrayed or when something they've done has hurt me, so even if we tried to be friends again, I wouldn't be able to communicate properly or we would never ever get to the same closeness because I just have that weird feeling no matter what. The way I see it if we stopped being friends in the first place I don't see how you can go back completely.

    Of course, this is all based on situations where someone has betrayed me or something. I'm not easily offended, so if it's a small offense, or even a big offense that doesn't really affect me, I don't really care and it doesn't violate the "first chance" to begin with.
     
    Well, I give second chances quite easily, as long as the wrong isn't a special type of wrong. People are products of their circumstances, that goes for everyone. Some are lucky, some are not. So I'm generally not accepting any "bad childhood" excuses. So whoever humanilated, disabled, tortured, raped or killed another person, won't get a second chance from me, as long it was not by accident. And with that I mean a real accident and not something like "(I hit him the car because) I couldn't see him in time (because I was to fixed on my thoughts how to pay the next rent)".

    Also, I despise ignorant people. If they did something wrong, it's often because of their ignorance. I don't need to give these people a second chance until they change themselves completely. That takes time. (And often they don't do it, because they are ignorant of their ignorance =__= )
     
    For people that have wronged me, I'm all for second chances. I'm quite forgiving. Although lately there's been no need for anyone to even ask for one, so yeah.

    On the whole, I think if people genuinely want to make up for their mistakes, no matter how big, they should have some sort of second chance to prove they've changed. However, they cannot expect forgiveness from everyone.
     
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