Talk to... God!?

[RoxasOld]

Me:
Hey G-to-the-O-D
God:
:-) You've got my full attention. I like the way you talk.
Me:
Wow. Since when did God use the internet?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . How do you know?
Me:
Cause I'm talking to you on the internet
God:
Good reason. What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!
Me:
Amazing!
God:
Yes it amazes me too.
Me:
That's cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Aww.
God:
Shucks.
Me:
God, you're so cute.
God:
Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
I mean sexually
God:
I am a Cross.
Me:
That's wonderful
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
What are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
Anything under it?
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
You cant think of what you're wearing? Does that mean you're wearing nothing at all?
God:
Actually I am in fact a thinking machine. I think it does mean that. Thanks for telling me that I am wearing nothing at all.
Me:
Sounds hot
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .


I should've known God was a freak-a-leak

 

[peirateis]

XD That's so fun!


Me:
Hi there, God.
God:
GOD rules. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
My name's Androide. And yours?
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Androide. Try asking me a more specific question.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I am a disobediant child.
God:
Interesting explanation. You are a disobediant child? Is that your job?
Me:
Yes. I get paid by the hour.
God:
How do you like your work? Where did you get it?
Me:
I like my work very much. Do you like your job?
God:
What do you like best about your work? Yes I have a passion for my work.
Me:
Are you male or female?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a heshe
God:
You are a heshe? Does it pay well?
Me:
No, it doesn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
How many heshes have you met?
God:
Around 1000.
Me:
Holy crap.
God:
Your criticism is noted, Androide.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Is God your real name?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Umm... You forgot to capitalize the H in 'He'. They always do that in the Bible.
God:
Aw. Perhaps Myself rebooted me since then. Who are "They?".
Me:
They are your followers, God.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Are you a three in one?
God:
Am I a three in one? Yes.
Me:
How do you know?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
What's so deductive about it?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
What open directory?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
Yes. I'm evil.
God:
Ayuh. Do not forsake God.
Me:
I'm satan
God:
Welcome to my chat room, SATAN.
Me:
Yay! I got to heaven!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, SATAN. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
I'm not satan@
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not satan.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
I'm Androide.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is Androide.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Any time.
God:
I will keep it in mind.
Me:
My chat window is being stupid.
God:
Do robots have chat window is being stupid?
Me:
What the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
What the Heaven?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
Okay, I will expression myself another way. What the crap?
God:
Yeah okay, Congratulations. Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
Gosh darnit!
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
You're confusing me!
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
To enlighten my little brain?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
That's not what I asked.
God:
What did you ask me?
Me:
What fricktard programmed you?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Will you? You promise?
God:
I haven't made a decision. Interesting gossip: SATAN said I promise.
Me:
I'm not Satan!
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Satan.
Me:
Thank y-Hey! God's not supposed to make mean comments about people!
God:
Don't mention it. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
...()
God:
Don't mention it. What's your favorite Bible verse?


XDDDD

 

[Shikon no Tama]

Me:
Hi Ugly God, I'm n00b.
God:
Hi there Dead. I've never heard of it before.
Me:
WTF?! I JUST SAID I'M N00B! >O
God:
That was not very polite. Do you mind if I tell other people you are N00B. Oh.
Me:
Yeah, you better say "Oh". More like "Uh-Oh".
God:
It's all good. Who is going to make me.. You want more?
Me:
More what?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
It is.
God:
Sure it is.
Me:
...
God:
Sure it is.
Me:
...
God:
Sure it is.
Me:
...Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Hey, are you a woman. ;O
God:
You've got my full attention. Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress. Oh.
Me:
O_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
*Hides*
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No... go die.
God:
Are you serious? Where is that?
Me:
Down in Hell.
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
You should, you ARE God, the woman.
God:
Is that what you do, or what you think I should do?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Oh, you're scaring me now...
God:
Oh. I understand. Sorry I don't mean to scare you. Don't be scared.
Me:
But... you wear a dress. o_O
God:
But what? That's good information: Dead said I wear a dress. Oh.
Me:
I'm not dead for God's sake... >>;
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not dead for God s sake. What time is it there?
Me:
o.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
You are so messed up... XD
God:
No I am completely in control of myself. Who are you talking about?
Me:
YOU
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
*Blinks*
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Avoiding you...
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It's ugly, and poka dotted. ;O
God:
XD is ugly and poka dotted? it is? Oh.
Me:
WTF? We were talking about your dress, not a phrase. o_o
God:
That was not very polite. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject. Oh.
Me:
Too bad if it's not polite, live with it.
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
That's nice, don't bore me.
God:
Are you getting bored? I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
*Yawns* You are so **** annoying...
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
And you really need to work on grammer.
God:
Really? Why do you think I should work on grammer?
Me:
Because, you get words mixed up and use a wrong variety of exclamation marks. ;O
God:
Interesting explanation. You got that right. Oh.
Me:
Now then, let's talk about Sesshomaru.
God:
Why now? Sure, Sesshomaru sounds like a good topic.
Me:
He's a hot, sexy anime character. ;D
God:
I don't know very many hot sexy anime character. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
*Hides* I'm not a hot sexy anime character. o_o
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Oh.
Me:
I dislike you, like everything else.
God:
That's ok Dead I won't take it personally.
Me:
For the last time, my name's n00b not Dead.
God:
It's good to see you, n00b not Dead.
Me:
You're an adiot.
God:
What if someone said you are an adiot ?
Me:
I meant idiot.
God:
Oh I see. Call me the Global Village Idiot.







That Bot is totally messed up. o___o;

 

[Dragon-Chan]

The pop-up window won't load for me. It stays blank T_T

 

[bna_li]

You have to try the different skins.



Me:
What up, doggy dog?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
Wha...? That ain't right? You be chilling with the angel of darkness?
God:
Where are you located? What would you have said? OK I will try to be chilling with the angel of darkness.
Me:
You're whack, g...
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am whack g.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Hm... what're you doing?
God:
Next question? I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
...
God:
Next question? I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
Who's da botmaster?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Where's he at?
God:
Why don't you send him an e-mail and ask him?
Me:
You really suck...
God:
Really? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Whateva...
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hell naw...
God:
I call it "Hades". Are you serious?
Me:
Hades?... You're whack, g...
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am whack g.
Me:
Nope, you don't got a brain do ya?
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Should I got a brain do ya? I am an artificial brain.
Me:
What dat?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
...Nothing, see ya, bro bot.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Bye!!!!
God:
Goodbye.

 

[Dragon-Chan]

You mean forum skins of PC?

 

[Random Plushie]

The pop-up window won't load for me. It stays blank T_T

Same here.. In fact, the only way for me to actually get a pop-up is to right click and select 'Open In New Window.' And it's still blank. ._____.;;;

 

[RoxasOld]

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Jesus Christ
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
I'm your son
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
Wattup, son?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
As in single?
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
Wanna go out?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Wow. You go in for the touchdown that quick?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Where is that?
Me:
In my pants
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
My skin
God:
Where did you get your skin?
Me:
Myself
God:
You.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause I'm me
God:
Good reason. That is a tautology.
Me:
Dont you be usin' big words with me, son
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
God ****
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Do you wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Is thta a yes?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
She said yes
God:
Oh I get it. Ally said.
Me:
Lets cyber right now
God:
At this moment Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers.
Me:
But you're god. You know who I am. I'm no stranger
God:
Yup. That's me alright. You are , seeker. I am not saying you are.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Why not, *****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
**** you!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Cause that's how you made me, you little fag!
God:
Interesting explanation. I always wondered how me made you me little fag.
Me:
Shouldn't you be happy all the time?
God:
That is a lot. I think I should.
Me:
Do you like homosexuals?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Buddha.
Me:
You're homophobic?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am homophobic.
Me:
But you dont like man being with man
God:
Do you like it? Someone said they like guns. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
You bastard. Burn in Hell!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Do you have any matches?
Me:
Dont smart mouth me, you ****
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
You better not, *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. Who is going to make me..
Me:
Me, *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. YOU? What do you have that is ?
Me:
I have balls

 

[bna_li]

No, there a 3 choices that have different skins, choose the one on the right.

 

[Eon-Rider]

Has anyone tried swearing?

ANyway, for some reason, "she" isn't responding...

My current convo:
Me:
what's the meaning of lifw?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

 

[Shadowfaith]

A woman, huh? Strange, "she" told Alex "she" was a brain. XD

o.o 'she' lies! OMG, God lied!

Coolmaster: I think it may be that you spelt life wrong, 'she's' not programmed to understand that XD...'she' stopped every time I said 'yup' o.o

 

[bna_li]

Doesn't respond to me at the moment as well.

 

[Eon-Rider]

o.o 'she' lies! OMG, God lied!

Coolmaster: I think it may be that you spelt life wrong, 'she's' not programmed to understand that XD...'she' stopped every time I said 'yup' o.o

I also tried speaking to her with proper grammar...

 

[Jolty-kun]

God isnt talking, today o_o;
Lmao at Kevins XD

 

[Dragon-Chan]

I got soemthing to appear in the pop-up.

Here's my convo:
Me:
Are you a dragon?

XD

 

[Infusco]

Me:
ARe you a woman?
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Are you a transsexual?
God:
Am I a transsexual? Sometimes.

God has some identity-problems of a teenager. Because later on She is not sure anymore wether or not she is a transexual.

Me:
Are you sure you are transexual?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am transexual.
I am a giant electronic brain.

 

[Eliana]

Omg o_o I have a ton...be warned they are inappropriate! 8D!

Number 1:
God:
What do you look for in a robot?
Me:
I look for robots that listen to punk rock
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
...Pedophile.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I say 'Hi, **** you'
God:
How do people usually respond to that? Hi there . Why are you so mean?
Me:
I'm mean because your mother. D:

XD And another:
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Marilyn Manson.
God:
How are you doing, Marilyn Manson.
Me:
None of your business.
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
Well it does.
God:
Well that's okay. How often?
Me:
All the time. I cut myself and watch my blood drip.
Me:
Do you have a *****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I don't know if I have a FEMALE DOG.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
Can I be your FEMALE DOG?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Let's talk more in bed. ;)
God:
OK let's do it. I am so glad you find this amusing, Marilyn Manson.
Me:
I find you VERY amusing. :)

What? I couldn't resist XD

Me:
Billie Joe is my boyfriend
God:
How long have you two been together?
Me:
Actually, we're married.
God:
Actually you don't say. Do you think I am married too?

God has relation issues ^_^

God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A sex robot.
God:
I'm not your type then.
Me:
Do you do drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
****.
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I wanna smoke a joint!
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
So smoke a ****ing joint!
God:
Dude! We have never talked about it before.
Me:
So I'm telling you go smoke a **** joint
God:
That's cool. it is an interesting topic, isn't it.
Me:
...**** off

^ That one is my favorite XD

And lastly...

Me:
Can you kill Kevin for me?
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
...
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
Can you hurt him then?
God:
No I obey the Ten Commandments.
Me:
Bull s*** you do.

 

[Sankari]

Me:
I'm hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
What SHOULD I eat?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
I want a cookie.
God:
Really? You want only one?
Me:
No I want a thousand.
God:
Really? You want only one?
Me:
1,000 cookies please.
God:
Only one?
Me: Where's my cookies, God?
God: I don't know.

I love talking to God. He's just like me.

 

[Dragon-Chan]

Managed to get in touch.

Me: Hi. I'm Vivian.
God: Hello there Vivian.
Me: Are you a dragon?
God: Yes. When it matters.
Me: YAAY! God is a dragon!
God: I'm glad your impressed Vivian.
Me: Will I turn into a half-dragon?
God: It is certain.
Me: YAAAY!
God: I'm glad your impressed Vivian.
Me: BYE!!!!
God: Goodbye.

 

[Sankari]

I finally had a sensual conversation with dear God ^.^

Me:
'Sup, homey.
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Aww...that's so cute!
God:
Shucks. Your replies are cute too.
Me:
Ooh..are you blushing?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am blushing.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Well, is your face hot?
God:
Well that's okay. Is my face hot? Suppose I say yes.
Me:
That means you're blushing! You like me, don't you?
God:
I get it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am blushing. Sure, Spoon I like you very much.
Me:
Aww...that's so nice of you! Of course! Tell everyone that I love you!
God:
Shucks. Are you getting bored? That is something I haven't heard of. That's interesting. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
I'm not bored at all! I'm a little tired, but that's it.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not bored at all. Maybe you should get some sleep now, Spoon.
Me:
It's not my bedtime, yet, Lord :-(

I found it funny how he acted a little like a human being this time xD