Teenage Romance... I'm really confused and upset... Help?

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UraharaSteph

Science Has Never Been So Sexy
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    Alright... this is the first time I've ever posted anything personal on a forum before, but since nearly everyone on PC is quite the friendly chaps, I want to see if you can help me out or cheer me up....




    My name is Stephanie and last year I went out with the guy of my dreams. At least, at the time he seemed like the guy of my dreams. We went out for two months before he broke up with me. I was younger and more naive, so I had given up and sacrificed a lot for him and I was only 15 years of age. We had our arguments like any normal couple, and I was going through a lot of trouble at home so I stayed at his a lot. He was there for me, and that made me fall for him more.

    It had been a year and two weeks before were were back together. Well... I say back together. He was currently with another girl, but felt very attracted to me once again. We both fell for each other again, but we had both matured nicely. We seemed to be getting on better than ever and after that break of a whole year, we saw each other as fresh new young people. He cheated on his girlfriend with me... Even though none of us did it out of spite... it just sort of happened. Please don't judge me on this, it's not something I would do to just any guy I fancied that had a partner, and he was the one who started it anyway... I just didn't end it ):. He broke up with his girlfriend, and we were the officially together. Things were going great for the first two months, better than ever in fact. Our arguments were over silly things (one about what Luvdisc was... don't ask) but we laughed about them and enjoyed them. Sure at times I didn't trust him, but he had a complete new approach to me... and since I had seen him with past girlfriends, I really do believe I was someone he had the most strong feelings for.

    It's coming up to nearly 3 months now, and for the past week we've been distant and not really interacting with happy thoughts much. We both have our problems, but we both love seeing each other. Yesterday he stated beautiful things, and said how he always loved me being around, and how he wanted me around all the time. He said he couldn't get mad at me and basically charmed me to the max. Today... He's had a complete change of attitude. The day started off with nothing unusual... nothing very happy or very sad. He then started to say how he was feeling ill and that he really didn't want me to catch what he had so I should go home for my own sake. I protested, and said I really wanted to stay and get things back on track. We had a long discussion and then he finally said.

    "This is too much for me, I can't handle it."


    I was shocked by his words and he stood up and walked away from me. He carried on his sentence with. "Well, why don't we break up?"

    I didn't want to break up with him, so I tried a lot of things to stay with him. He told me his head was very cloudy and he had to get things straight. We were still having the odd giggle even in the midst of all this. He wanted to be left alone so he could think things through, so I kissed him on the cheek and left him to it. He doesn't dump people over the phone, or through text or e-mail but I said I Wanted to know his decision as soon as possible. The only way he could see me again properly is today... or wait until Friday which is day of the prom. (Yeah all this happens before the prom)

    During the day I got a message that said from him

    "I think I want an end to it all i want it all to stop... I know you love me. And that makes it all the more hard. But i cant deal with it. I am not ready for something so serious. I t scares me. And I want a fresh start."


    I replied saying that perhaps all we need is a break away from each other, which we will get because he's going away for 3 weeks. I was basically desperate for it not to end but I didn't let that fully show through.

    To my suggestion he replied "I don't know. For the moment can we end?"

    I replied saying I didn't want to break up, and was it what he really wanted even though he had admitted that he still loves me. I then asked if we were both going to the prom together still.

    I haven't received a text in answer, but I know he still wants to be my prom date since he said so earlier after he suggested we break up. his exact words were something like "I will still be your date for the prom... If you'll have me?"

    Someone please help me. It's been all day now, and he still hasn't given me a straight answer to whether we should break up or not. I'm still in hearts in his MSN name and still together on Facebook in the relationship section. I'm really confused! I need help! I know this isn't the best site for it, but does anyone know where I could put this to help me? Thank you.
     
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    Alright, this is actually what I'm going through RIGHT now. I'm just in the guy position.

    Here's my story:

    December
    My girlfriend of three months (17) and me (15) had decided to take a break due to me wanting space. For some reason I was feeling constricted, unable to breathe from lack of space. So, we took a break -- Stopped all communication and I tried recovering by talking to new girls. (You'll realize this is what he is going through further into the story.)

    Well, in February I felt comfortable enough to try again, I was still madly in love with her and wanted to try again. I went through some dental surgery and was on some heavy medication, and I didn't want her to see me like that so I asked for space, and she gave it to me. Well, one day I get a txt message while I was flying on my couch from a girl. "Why is your girlfriend txting me?" (It turns out she was going through my myspace, she obviously didn't trust me.)

    I get my phone and call her, and just start going crazy. I even yelled at her, (And I never yell.) Well, I woke up the next morning, go through my phone and what I saw made me so angry. While I was on drugs I had broken up with her, and the entire night she was txting me trying to get me to take her back. I didn't talk to her for a month after that, and when I saw her I apologized to her. She was already with a new guy, but I still loved her regardless, and I waited.

    Well, after a month of waiting I decided that waiting wasn't going to get me anywhere -- So I started talking to new girls. I had met this girl named Aubrey and was starting to feel a connection with her. As soon as Caitlin (Ex) heard about my feelings for a new girl she txted me instantly telling me to wait for her longer, because she stilled loved me. It upset me that she was so selfish as to actually ASK me to wait longer. But, for some reason I listened.

    Just a few weeks ago I told her I wanted some space again. (Realizing that I'm not ready for a relationship.) And told her to settle down for a few, and wait just a bit for me to get everything together. So, she txts me saying: "Well, since we're over I thought I'd tell you that you were just holding me back from going to college anyway. I think it's best if you don't talk to me for awhile, and I'm sorry for telling you this."

    The really stupid part was her and I were only talking, I wasn't ready to start another relationship with her just yet.

    MY POINT:

    Is, that some younger guys aren't ready for relationships. Please don't hold it against us, we just want to have the freedom of exploring more. I hope you understand what I mean, and if you need any more help just add me on MSN.

    [email protected]
     
    Thanks, I think I get what you mean. The thing is, he had warmed me up to him so much, and it just shocked me how he suddenly changed his attitude in a matter of just under a day. I didn't get it... I still don't get it. He's on MSN right now and my name is still in his MSN name surrounded by hearts. I want to speak to him but I'm too scared to. He's admitted that he's not even sure that he wants to break up with me... It confuses me so much and I just wander why he hasn't given me a straight answer on whether or not we've broken up...

    I'm still quite confused... should I talk to him on MSN? But I know he's more of a face to face guy. We're going into college soon, so I'm well awear that we might meet new people, but 2 days ago we were discussing how we believe we have enough "Love" To keep us together despite going to different colleges...
     
    This is exactly how Caitlin is, she's been begging for me to take her back ever since I told her I wasn't going to give up on us, that I just needed a break.

    If he wants to talk to you, by all means talk to him. But, if you even sense the littlest hint of annoyance, stop talking to him. I know it's hard, but sometimes space is usually what saves relationships. You seem to understand him quite well, this shouldn't be very difficult for you.
     
    Oh thank you! This helps much more as well.

    I think I just recognized my own fault. Normally when he gets annoyed in some way, I stick around and try to sort it out, but you've just helped me realize that he's the type of guy who needs space when he's annoyed. He got annoyed earlier today when he asked me to leave because he was sick and I didn't want to because I didn't care if he was sick. This got him annoyed, and when I saw this, I felt that I needed to right the wrong if you get what I mean?
     
    Oh thank you! This helps much more as well.

    I think I just recognized my own fault. Normally when he gets annoyed in some way, I stick around and try to sort it out, but you've just helped me realize that he's the type of guy who needs space when he's annoyed. He got annoyed earlier today when he asked me to leave because he was sick and I didn't want to because I didn't care if he was sick. This got him annoyed, and when I saw this, I felt that I needed to right the wrong if you get what I mean?

    Guys like us aren't the type who want to be bothered when we're trying to get space. I've used that excuse myself before.
     
    Thank you...

    Even if I fail to get this boy back... I guess I can still keep in mind what I've learned about my own flaws. He admits that he still likes me and all... but do you think he has any intent to get back with me at anytime in the future? He often claimed himself as a guy who doesn't give girls a second chance, yet he's already given me a second chance (as in we broke up once and now back together). He split up with his ex to be with me (even if it was a pretty long wait >.<) and I can just tell he's never experienced what he feels for me before...

    He also states that he feels so strongly for me that it scares him...
     
    Don't doubt what he says, I can gurrantee it's true.

    Although, sometimes our "wants" go against what we feel. Meaning: He loves you, yes. But, he doesn't love the thought of being in a relationship with you at this moment. Will that change?

    Hey, life's unpredictable.
     
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    BAH! More confusion

    I text him saying and ultimately asking him about the flaw of mine where I try to sort things out when he's annoyed. He's replied with

    "There is nothing particularly wrong with you though... Only that I cant cope with how things are."

    I want to text him back, asking him to clarify what he means... Should I?
     
    BAH! More confusion

    I text him saying and ultimately asking him about the flaw of mine where I try to sort things out when he's annoyed. He's replied with

    "There is nothing particularly wrong with you though... Only that I cant cope with how things are."

    I want to text him back, asking him to clarify what he means... Should I?

    Go ahead, if he his reply is somewhat harsher than usual stop texting him.
     
    OK my reply is:

    "Can you please clarify on what you can't cope with? Sorry for this i'm just a little confused"

    I'm hoping this will be OK
     
    OK my reply is:

    "Can you please clarify on what you can't cope with? Sorry for this i'm just a little confused"

    I'm hoping this will be OK

    If he reacts a little odd just put your phone down and go listen to music, actually turn your phone off.
     
    I'm also a little worried about if he doesn't receive the text. The signal in his house is really low, so sometimes he doesn't get my messages. That's why I don't get annoyed when he doesn't reply... but I would like to get this sorted out before my prom on friday -.- I guess all I can do is wait. If he doesn't reply at all, then my message hasn't reached him. If he replies funnily, than I'll do what you said and turn off my phone.
     
    Urahara you can always talk to me about it,my freind Myra (dont know her new PC name by heart right now) went thro8ugh the same situation with another PC boy (Dont know his username by heart) and they were close (going out for a month and a half)it wasnt no dumb Pairing Stuff they were close......I asked her if she needed a talk...she did.....Now they are back together,I could help if you want
     
    He sounds like a typical guy that can't make his mind up to me. If he isn't giving straight answers I wouldn't keep bugging him as that may only hurt your chances. But he has also done the same thing before so that leaves me to think that the cycle will just continue.

    Also on the cheating side. That will leave you with insecurities as with him saying what he is right now you will wonder whether he has found someone else and is now cheating on you. Cheating with a person and then getting with them is never a good idea as you will always have that worry at the bag of your mind.

    Finally, I am a guy that needs space when they get annoyed so I can see his point there. I mean if someone keeps bugging me to sort it out it just makes it worse. I like to be left till I calm down and I am sure he is the same.
     
    I dont even feel like reading that. Im a teenager and teenage romance is idiotic, pointless and why? Why not enjoy your life, first, then give yourself something to stress about when your an ADULT. Enjoy your youth.
     
    I dont even feel like reading that. Im a teenager and teenage romance is idiotic, pointless and why? Why not enjoy your life, first, then give yourself something to stress about when your an ADULT. Enjoy your youth.

    Quite positive she doesn't need any hounding about her love life. She was simply asking for help, not an easy way out.
     
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    I dont even feel like reading that. Im a teenager and teenage romance is idiotic, pointless and why? Why not enjoy your life, first, then give yourself something to stress about when your an ADULT. Enjoy your youth.
    Can you not enjoy your teenage years when you are in love?
    I did.
    I am just fine now. It didn't work out, but I enjoyed them.

    You just need to take a stand and be honest.
    If you feel like he is treating you poorly, then you should do so.
    He seems like the type of guy who, when pressured, could crack. So don't be too forceful.
     
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