Yes. I wish he was my boyfriend, but he's moving to Japan in a few years to seek out his own calling in life, so although we both know and feel, neither of us say anything. Maybe it's for the best.
He actually saved my life in a way, though. During a lapse in our friendship when he was studying abroad, I wound up in an abusive relationship with someone who turned out to be a bona fide sociopath. I was ashamed of what was going on, and terrified, so I told no one. By the time I was aware of the fact that my relationship was truly abusive (i.e. the physical stuff started), my ex had subtly done such a number on my self-esteem, social support, and general frame of mind that I couldn't bring myself to leave and stay away. For a full year, things went downhill, with me eventually becoming suicidal.
Clearly, though, I didn't wind up carrying it out. I found an old letter my friend had written to me buried beneath a bunch of junk on my desk. One of the more sentimental ones, I guess you'd say. It was like a window back to better times and better feelings, a window to truth, opened up--that everything being shoved down my throat and everything being done to me was no longer my fault, and I could leave. I left that night and never looked back, though it took months to fully get my nutcase ex out of my life and even longer to heal.
Of all the things to truly reach me, though... words on paper.
