The Post Your Problems Thread

Are these answers helpful?

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 23.8%
  • No

    Votes: 8 38.1%
  • Somewhat

    Votes: 2 9.5%
  • For a Pokemon forum

    Votes: 6 28.6%

  • Total voters
    21
Status
Not open for further replies.
But love is hollow and meaningless if you can't love yourself, first! You're using his affection to fill a hole inside you; when the love he lavishes on you should be something you *cherish*, not something you *need*. Codependency sounds so workable and beautiful on the surface; but it's not! When you need someone's love to live, you begin to resent them when they can't deliver everything you need at all times.

I'll never resent James. He's done so much for me even though he's been through so much more crap than me. He still gave love more more chance to be with me. He never gave up on life even though the worst has happened to him. The irony of it all. It's more my love keeping him alive.

Go and do a resume drop first thing in the morning; UV rays are worse between 11am and 1pm ~ so hit the stores and businesses early and you can be home in time for lunch.

Uh... Issue there. I'm leaving to Florida to visit my grandparents on Friday (Wednesday 3:39 PM right now). Plus, me getting a job now defeats the purpose of the disability. I already signed up for it (mom made me). And she expects me to use that money to pay her while I go to school.
You need to build yourself up inside, before you can enact change on the world around you. Don't you understand? You can't make people see you differently until you see yourself differently.

Then explain how I felt when I was younger. I was happy and full of life as a child. People should see me as a happy-go lucky person then. But they didn't. They saw me as a loser. THAT's why I am what I am today.
In College, people *want* to be there and they want to be there to not only take upon a degree but also to build the final stages of their social development. You need this; because right now you're letting your social muscles atrophy and one day it's going to be too late~

Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.
 
You're asking for help and yet rebuffing everything you don't want to hear.

If this is your attitude then I can quite readily see why your mother wants you to stay. You're clearly not ready to leave home, especially to live with someone you and your immediate family are yet to meet.
 
Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.

Wait? You are going because she is yelling at you? If I yelled and told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? If you don't want to go, then don't. Especially not because she is yelling at you.
 
Wait? You are going because she is yelling at you? If I yelled and told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? If you don't want to go, then don't. Especially not because she is yelling at you.

That's the thing... She'll force me to still go. She has some form of control over me... I can't explain it... I'm not assertive in the least. I never can really do what I want. My little sister knows this too. She's been put on meds and talks to a doctor every month whom says that we have bad parents. My little sister agrees with me going because she knows it's the only way to 'break my chains' If I could leave now, I would do it in a heart beat, but I can't...
 
I want help.

I don't want help.

Am I eloquent or what?

Edit:



My disabilities are Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, and an Anxiety Disorder.

He can't leave the US. But before I met him, I planned on going to college for however long I needed to and then move to Japan.

Hey I have two questions:

1. What do those disabilities stop you from doing/achieving?

2. What does your boyfriend think about your goal of working as a Spiriter in Japan? & Is his desires compatible with your goal?
 
Last edited:
That's the thing... She'll force me to still go. She has some form of control over me... I can't explain it... I'm not assertive in the least. I never can really do what I want. My little sister knows this too. She's been put on meds and talks to a doctor every month whom says that we have bad parents. My little sister agrees with me going because she knows it's the only way to 'break my chains' If I could leave now, I would do it in a heart beat, but I can't...

First off, let me explain something about disability

It really doesn't pay for everything you think it's going to pay for. It might pay for your rent, but are you 100% positive that you're going to be able to buy food? Pay utilities? What about entertainment costs? What about clothing? As someone who also gets disability money, I can tell you that it really doesn't go very far in the grand scheme of things and I have friends that live on, quite literally, to the dime and they have next to absolutely nothing >> You sure you're going to be able to shop at food stores like Aldis or other off brand stores and wonder if you're going to have enough cash for next week's meal? It's not nearly as simple as you think it is and if you start adding in other fees ontop of that, I guarantee you that you'll see just how not-far it's going. On top of that, I understand you have these particular disabilities but are you sure you're even going to GET disability money? Aspies, yes, I can see some potential money from that if it's severe enough but Anxiety and ADHD are almost never severe enough to qualify. Just how much do you think you're getting anyways?

Second, you think you're the only person that hates college? I hate to be rude or blunt but I honestly loath college [at least the one I'm currently attending] with absolutely every fiber of my body. Why? I don't feel accepted there and I don't feel like I belong. Do I still attend that school? Absolutely. Do I hate a good portion of it? Absolutely. Have I quit? Absolutely not. There are things in life that we have to do regardless of whether or not we really want to do them. We cannot expect the world to spin for us, we must spin the world to obtain what we wish to obtain. It's going to suck, it's going to be miserable and you're going to have to work hard. You do realize if you go to college, you can live on campus right? This gets you out of the house and yet you're still appeasing your mother. Find a college you like. It sounds retarded but if you go do some college visits, you can find a college you can put up with. Go check out the federally mandated Students with Disabilities area. The one at my university is the only thing really keeping me going, the people are amazing and they make sure that I have all my accommodations. You can, with a disability, sometimes qualify for Voc Rehab which will help you find a job like on campus and help you find work after you graduate [because you're protected under the laws that make it so you have to be given and will give you ways to get a job you're comfortable with that doesn't aggravate your disorders. :3

Instead of freaking out and switching over to disability monthly stipends, why don't you try looking at this flipside of your disability needs? There's alllll sorts of stuff out there to get you a job you're comfortable with or at least one you can tolerate. D: Please don't just give up and give into this disability stipend; it really isn't as much money as you think it is.

[I know the spelling errors in this are atrocious is because it's 2:30am. XD; sorry]
 
Last edited:
First off, let me explain something about disability

It really doesn't pay for everything you think it's going to pay for. It might pay for your rent, but are you 100% positive that you're going to be able to buy food? Pay utilities? What about entertainment costs? What about clothing? As someone who also gets disability money, I can tell you that it really doesn't go very far in the grand scheme of things and I have friends that live on, quite literally, to the dime and they have next to absolutely nothing >> You sure you're going to be able to shop at food stores like Aldis or other off brand stores and wonder if you're going to have enough cash for next week's meal? It's not nearly as simple as you think it is and if you start adding in other fees ontop of that, I guarantee you that you'll see just how not-far it's going. On top of that, I understand you have these particular disabilities but are you sure you're even going to GET disability money? Aspies, yes, I can see some potential money from that if it's severe enough but Anxiety and ADHD are almost never severe enough to qualify. Just how much do you think you're getting anyways?

James was able to live on his own for a while with only $1000. Since he's paying for my rent when we're both going to move in together at his mom's house, I think I'll be able to support myself.

I already applied for it. In real life, I can barely talk because it almost scares me to. I don't like being in crouds (a small group of people of people I know very well is fine but I still won't say much)

Second, you think you're the only person that hates college? I hate to be rude or blunt but I honestly loath college [at least the one I'm currently attending] with absolutely every fiber of my body. Why? I don't feel accepted there and I don't feel like I belong. Do I still attend that school? Absolutely. Do I hate a good portion of it? Absolutely. Have I quit? Absolutely not. There are things in life that we have to do regardless of whether or not we really want to do them. We cannot expect the world to spin for us, we must spin the world to obtain what we wish to obtain. It's going to suck, it's going to be miserable and you're going to have to work hard. You do realize if you go to college, you can live on campus right? This gets you out of the house and yet you're still appeasing your mother.

I can't. She won't let me live on campus...

Find a college you like. It sounds retarded but if you go do some college visits, you can find a college you can put up with. Go check out the federally mandated Students with Disabilities area. The one at my university is the only thing really keeping me going, the people are amazing and they make sure that I have all my accommodations. You can, with a disability, sometimes qualify for Voc Rehab which will help you find a job like on campus and help you find work after you graduate [because you're protected under the laws that make it so you have to be given and will give you ways to get a job you're comfortable with that doesn't aggravate your disorders. :3

Well finding a different college is out of the question because I'm already signed up for it...

Instead of freaking out and switching over to disability monthly stipends, why don't you try looking at this flipside of your disability needs? There's alllll sorts of stuff out there to get you a job you're comfortable with or at least one you can tolerate. D: Please don't just give up and give into this disability stipend; it really isn't as much money as you think it is.

[I know the spelling errors in this are atrocious is because it's 2:30am. XD; sorry]

I'm being put on disability because my mom wants me to pay her rent while I go to a college I don't want to go to. I won't get ANY of that money if I stay until I get out of college and by then, she'll make me get rid of that money to get a job. She's controling my life like it's her own. But it's not.

1. What do those disabilities stop you from doing/achieving?

Asperger Syndrome makes it increadably difficult to communicate with others that it scares me to talk.

ADHD doesn't really effect me as much as it did as a child other than the fact that I have a hard time focusing on things.

The Anxiety Disorder just causes me to become increadably cautious. Whenever something goes wrong, I get very scared. In the case when I feel that I've done something wrong, I give myself self-punishment (no, not cutting). I'm trying to change this thing about me for James because I had to tell him about it and he said if I don't change that, we can't be together... I understand that. It's just sometimes when I feel like I've done something wrong, I HAVE to be punished...

2. What does your boyfriend think about your goal of working as a Spiriter in Japan? & Is his desires compatible with your goal?

He gets very upset when he thinks about this subject because he says that he's the reason I'm not accomplishing my dreams, but I love him too much to leave his for something so selfish to accomplish my dreams while dystroying another's.

He and I just want to live together, so yes.
 
Then throw a tantrum and refuse to go to class until you get what you want. :D If the money comes in cheques, call up the bank and make sure you have an account with them that your mom can't access and keep the money for yourself. If your mom threatens to kick you out... success! move in with your bf and live happily ever after.

Anyway, since it was kinda missed... @Akio123: it sucks but you're gonna just have to suck it up and tell her. It's going to be awkward no matter WHEN you do but it'll be infinitely less worse if you do it sooner rather than later because later on you have the added stress of explaining why you didn't say right away. :(
 
Then throw a tantrum and refuse to go to class until you get what you want. : D If the money comes in cheques, call up the bank and make sure you have an account with them that your mom can't access and keep the money for yourself.

The tantrum part seems a bit childish because I NEVER thrown a tantrum in my life, I just ran to my room and cried. o-o; (I cry VERY easily)

I already have my own bank account. :3

If your mom threatens to kick you out... success! move in with your bf and live happily ever after.

.... : D That comment makes me smile. I never thought I'd actually be happy to be kicked out. xD I'll need to get a bus and plane ticket then when and if that happens.
 
May I advise that you actually meet this guy face to face before moving in with him permanently? ._.;

Well mom agreed to let him come over for holidays. Unfortunatly I won't be able to see him for Christmas. ;-;

I SHOULD be able to see him after the trip to Florida, which by the way, I'm leaving tomarrow for a week or so. Scalloping for the win. Grandma said that there was a record high down there. Last year there was barely any since the water was so damn hot. o-o
 
I honestly don't see why you're all bothering helping this person out when the problem here has clearly got to do with something that only she can do for herself, and the quote above is precisely that.

You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being.

And you think that's going to make you happy.

It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources.

Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can?

Wake up. Get up. It's your choice.

Hyper Chibi Absol... why would you ask these questions and ignore someone who took the time to answer you? Even if he was somewhat mean, you could have the decency to respond to him.
 
Hyper Chibi Absol... why would you ask these questions and ignore someone who took the time to answer you? Even if he was somewhat mean, you could have the decency to respond to him.

*anime fall* I'm not a fan of posting to rude posts because the people who post them are just basicly acting like... well... you get it.

But I will. >.>;


You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being.

They can't come true because to put it bluntly, we live in a ****** world...

Worthless? I already felt worthless until James came along. Being with him gives my life meaning. That I was actually needed.

And you think that's going to make you happy.

Making others happy especially the ones I care about makes me happy, so yes.[/QUOTE]

It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources.

Who're you to tell me to shut up?

My boyfriend's parents WANT me to live there. They sure as hell care about me more than my parents. The only time my parents pay attention to me is when they wait me to do something of their interest.

Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can?

I'd rather be with people I know and love, rather in a place where people judge you for what you look like and you DON'T know them. I don't like being around a lot of people unless I know them.
 
People are not being rude, they're being realistic. =(

Saying "shut the hell up" isn't rude?

I think you've made your mind up pretty strongly about what you want to do, and given that you're ignoring or discarding everything that everyone suggests that you don't want to hear, and not even thanking them for contributions, I don't think there's much else for you in this thread and you might want to go and see professional counselling instead.

About what I WANT to do, but I can't because mom won't let me do anything what I want. She NEVER has.

I have been in couselling for school since grade school. I never wanted to leave until now. This is because James made me realize something. I've been taking **** that I don't have to all my life. He's sick of it, just as much as me because he hates the way I'm treated. But since my mom just can't let go of me, I'm stuck here.

....Man does it suck to be the first born....
 
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(
 
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

But everything he said was true! And she wasn't exactly listening to you, CloudConnected or Cami...
 
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

A rude post for a rude person.
 
The only thing I really need to know is the fact that should I somehow convince mom that I should live with James or just stay here and go to a college that my mom wants me to go to while she takes my disability money away.
 
Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then.

That's what all the people with these excuses of disorders do. They strive to be like everyone else until their 'disability' could lead to financial benefit.

HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend. Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money. Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.
 
HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend.

What else can I do then? Like a job? If I could work in the manga business here in the US, I would. I'm much better at drawing Japanese anime than I am American cartoons.

Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money.

I'm not making excuses. I'm giving you reasons why I can't do things. I need to figure out what I CAN do.

Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.

I live in Illinois while he lives in Florida. We're about 3 or 4 states away from eachother.

He told me that even though it really doesn't seem like it, there's a chance I may not like him. If that happens, he'll pay for my plane ticket back to Illinois.

I am listening.

How is it the cowards way out? In the case I can't get a job even with the college degree, I'm stuck. With un-employment rate growing at an alarming rate, chances are, I'm not gonna get the job no matter how hard I work on art.

If anything, disability would be smart.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top