The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[aRedMoon]

Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?

I think it'd depend on the person, and I think I'd have to get to know them pretty well beforehand.

 

[TornZero]

Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?

If they were only transgendered (transsexual is a different matter), I would have no trouble making a relationship of any kind with them.

 

[-ty-]

Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?

Well, I am attracted to men. So the person would have to appear like an attractive male. If he did (assuming there has been some genital modifications) then I would not close the door on the person simply b/c they were biologically born female.

If you are attracted to women, I think you might find this biologically born male attractive. No?

The same goes is you are attracted to men. I think that you might find this biologically born female attractive.

So I would judge by appearance, b/c it would not be fair to be in a relationship with someone you do not think is attractive, but I would not care if that label on the person happened to be transgender.

 

[aRedMoon]

The thing is, a lot of transgenders don't fall that heavily into their "chosen" (for lack of better word... destined? inner? Not sure a good word) outer appearance. I think that's what I would have the biggest problem with.

For the same reason that I have absolutely no interest in highly feminine gay guys. I'm into guys...

 

[-ty-]

I forgot to add that it's kinda sad that transgender people have to put so much money into changing their exterior to match their interior b/c medicaid and other federal health insurance do not cover it.

"In June 2008, the American Medical Association House of Delegates declared that discrimination,[3] stating that the denial to patients with Gender Identity Disorder of otherwise covered benefits represents discrimination, and that the AMA supports "public and private health insurance coverage for treatment for gender identity disorder as recommended by the patient's physician." Other organizations have issued similar statements, including WPATH,[4] the American Psychological Association,[5] and the National Association of Social Workers."

But our conservative congressmen, believe that they no better than all of these associations by denying the importance of sex reassignment surgeries, and mental health.

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?

I've thought about this many times and always got a mixed answer.

Honestly though, if this hansome guy were to stroll by and completely blow me back with a great personality, I'd have to find out if they were into guys.

If they were, I'd have to ask for a date.

If it went great, I'd ask for another.

Maybe if it all turns out good I'll have a boyfriend.

If we start to really get intimate, we'll be doing more mature things.

If we get to the point where I just can't take not being married and propose, hopefully I'd have a fiance.

Then we'd get married.

And honestly, if they told me at any point in that that they were born female and I couldn't tell the difference and was actually pretty shocked,

I wouldn't care. They were always male, they just needed a surgery to make it true on the outside. Just as long as they have the right and properly functioning, erm, "equipment," then it shouldn't matter.

So I guess there's your answer. In a really pretentious poetic form. :3

 

[Shining Raichu]

I think it would be a little hypocritical not to date a transgendered person if you were attracted to them. All a transgendered person is is someone who was born into a body that wasn't made for them, and has done something to fix that for themselves. If someone were born female, that wouldn't really matter all that much to me so long as they're not female now. But just like everyone else has said, I would have to be attracted to them.

I've actually been thinking for a while that when I do figure out my sexuality, I'm afraid to come out to my friends back in Arizona... I'm sure some of them will understand, since some of my friends were Bisexual. But the others, it would be awkward. I mean, they're great friends. Like, really awesome friends. But I'm just afraid they'd hate me if I came out.

I'm literally trying to hold in my tears while typing this. I'm trying to ignore the subject of what my sexual orientation is until after high school (because I don't see the point of high school relationships; too much drama), but this one thought just won't leave me alone. I'm afraid of losing my friends.

Sorry for going a bit off-topic there. I'm just tired of constantly having the thought of losing my friends swimming around in my head all the time...

I realise I'm a little bit late to the party, but I'd question how awesome these friends are if they'd hate you for your sexuality. You'll have to tell them eventually because you'll be sick of living a lie, so when it happens just let the cards fall where they may. If some of them hate you for it then they were never your friends and you can always stick with the ones that are.

But I really want to hug you, because I know how hard this is. I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

 

[Esper]

If they were only transgendered (transsexual is a different matter), I would have no trouble making a relationship of any kind with them.

I'm curious about why you differentiate here. I wonder if we're working with the same definitions here. To me, someone who is transsexual (though I really don't care for this term) is someone who has/wants to have gender reassignment surgery while someone who is transgendered could also want this, but wouldn't necessarily.

Thanks for answering my question. :o As much as I wish appearance wasn't such a big part of attraction, I guess it's to be expected that's a significant factor in choosing who you'd date, and like what ty said, it wouldn't exactly be fair to date someone you weren't attracted to.

 

[TornZero]

I'm curious about why you differentiate here. I wonder if we're working with the same definitions here. To me, someone who is transsexual (though I really don't care for this term) is someone who has/wants to have gender reassignment surgery while someone who is transgendered could also want this, but wouldn't necessarily.

I consider transsexuals being a transgender that has gone through or plans to go through sexual reassignment surgery, while just "transgender" (to me) would instead refer to someone whose gender identity doesn't match their physical sex yet can live with it, or just doesn't want to go through SRS even if they have the option.

Trying to bring up the subject seems like a huge trust issue from either end, so it would take more careful digging-into to know more about that person if they won't talk about it. I honestly wouldn't be comfortable with anyone if they're reserved about their lives, but coming out to one's significant other as a pre-op/post-op is obviously a large milestone regarding trust and loyalty in both directions, and refusing to say anything about it seems like downright betrayal as it's a big part of their life.

That said, despite accepting them as their gender and the sex they were reassigned to (which should really be no trouble at all), it would take more work from both parties emotionally to have a successful and trusting relationship. The different issues that a transgender and transsexual face with other people (especially in a relationship where trust should be a requirement) are where I would actually separate the two terms past just the choice of SRS.

 

[FreakyLocz14]

Sorry, but no. Transmen can't reproduce with me.

 

[TornZero]

Sorry, but no. Transmen can't reproduce with me.

This I should have included in my separation of the terms, but I was more focused at the time with the more interpersonal over reproductive differences.

 

[Steven]

I doubt I'd date one - and not because they're trans.

I prefer to be alone, that's just who I am.

 

[FreakyLocz14]

This I should have included in my separation of the terms, but I was more focused at the time with the more interpersonal over reproductive differences.

My goal is to find a potential husband rather than just a causual boyfriend, which would lead to children. I guess a transman could fit that job once technology develops more.

 

[-ty-]

I doubt I'd date one - and not because they're trans.

I prefer to be alone, that's just who I am.

that's so sad!!! But I shouldn't assume it is for you.

Not to get too personal, but is it b/c of non-existing sexual attraction to others or not wanting to deal with a relationship? Or something else. I know this sounds nosy, but I am genuinely interested.

 

[Shining Raichu]

that's so sad!!! But I shouldn't assume it is for you.

Not to get too personal, but is it b/c of non-existing sexual attraction to others or not wanting to deal with a relationship? Or something else. I know this sounds nosy, but I am genuinely interested.

Yeah, I'm actually interested to find out myself!

I used to be this way. I'm not assuming this is the reason with Landorus, but in my case it was that I didn't want to deal with a relationship. It seemed like a lot of work and a lot of pressure and potential drama that I could just never see myself wanting to deal with. Also, I like myself and I still believe that if you can be happy single - and I can be - then you will always be happy in life. If you need someone to complete you, then your happiness will always be tied to another person, and I never wanted that for myself, so I stayed away from relationships.

As of now, I've still never been in a real relationship, but now I'm definitely open to one and I hope that one day I can be in one (and I'm sure I will be) but if not, that's fine too.

 

[-ty-]

Yeah, I'm actually interested to find out myself!

I used to be this way. I'm not assuming this is the reason with Landorus, but in my case it was that I didn't want to deal with a relationship. It seemed like a lot of work and a lot of pressure and potential drama that I could just never see myself wanting to deal with. Also, I like myself and I still believe that if you can be happy single - and I can be - then you will always be happy in life. If you need someone to complete you, then your happiness will always be tied to another person, and I never wanted that for myself, so I stayed away from relationships.

As of now, I've still never been in a real relationship, but now I'm definitely open to one and I hope that one day I can be in one (and I'm sure I will be) but if not, that's fine too.

Yeah, I was adamant at first about being with someone in order to feel secure about my sexuality. That was not healthy. But I think it is a balance of depending on yourself and the other person.

 

[Domo Genesis]

Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?

No.
If they didn't have any genital modifications, then I would not. If they did, I MIGHT have a relationship with them.
[I am heterosexual]

 

[FreakyLocz14]

I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.

 

[Domo Genesis]

I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.

~shivers~
Now that you think of it, I now feel the same way, except the other way around. It's creepy to know that your girlfriend was once a male. It's just unsettling.

 

[-ty-]

My goal is to find a potential husband rather than just a causual boyfriend, which would lead to children. I guess a transman could fit that job once technology develops more.

I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.

I am kinda confused. If you loved a guy, you were attracted to him, and he was able to have children with you (essentially become a potential husband) would it matter if he was born a woman?