The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

I agree. It seems like people are much more accepting of gays then trans. Congrats on coming out though Andy! And welcome to the group, Destructor!
 
Is it transphobic to say "You've failed as a parent if your son thinks he's a girl"?
 
It's incredibly Transphobic, considering parenting skills have nothing to do with a persons gender identity, I hope no one would ever say that. And other than being transphobic and incorrect, it's rude to insult someone's parenting skills.
 
I would call it less Transphobic, and more ignorant. I mean, it makes them sound stupid, but phobia is fear, and they sound more just uneducated than afraid. If someone ever said that to me, I'd tell them to sit down and they would be educated on the matter. Then if they reacted badly, and did spout hate, I would call them Transphobic and annoying. -w-
 
My mom said the same thing about herself when I came out to her. I wouldn't say it's any kind of phobic though, it's just stupid.
 
guys there's the most adorable short film on youtube it's in another language (brazil i think) but it's still completely adorable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&feature=youtu.be

It's so cute that I had eye crinkles I don't know how to embed it but you need subtitles which can be turned on by clicking the second box on the bottom right of the video (only on browsers)

sorry for straying from the conversation feel free to ignore me
 
Impo said:
guys there's the most adorable short film on youtube it's in another language (brazil i think) but it's still completely adorable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&feature=youtu.be

It's so cute that I had eye crinkles I don't know how to embed it but you need subtitles which can be turned on by clicking the second box on the bottom right of the video (only on browsers)

sorry for straying from the conversation feel free to ignore me
Click to expand...
You're right, that really is an adorable short film :) I wish things would work like that in real life...

Anyway, to add up to the "phobia" talk, I never understood why the hatred towards homosexuals, and in this case, transsexuals, is called a "phobia". No-one is scared, they're just idiotic jerks!
 
Clinically speaking; phobia is fear, but non-clinical it can be negative attitudes. Some people can actually be afraid of homosexuals, while others can also be afraid of heterosexuals.
 
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Well, I came out to mom.

I went up to mom and said I had to tell her something to which she said alright. I asked her to sit down and when she said asked why, I told her it was something really important. Her reply "Well, it's about time" I guessed she just knew what I was going to tell her. So, she sat down and I explained everything from when I first figured out I was gay until the other dayand she had a smile on the whole time. Inside I was so happy, I actually thought I got her wrong the whole time. When I was done, she stood up and gave me a hug and told me I had nothing to hide from her and that she figured but didn't want to jump to the conclusion just in case. I felt like I was going to cry I was so happy and then....

"But still, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Are you punishing me for something? Do you hate me?"

I tried to explain to her that it's just who I am but...

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't. I understand I failed as a parent and I understand I raised some kind of creature and I can accept that, though I don't have to live with it"

And so here I am, on my laptop, at my grandparents place where they, much to my surprise, accepted me for who I am and still seem to love me. Mom hates and wants nothing to do with me now.
 
Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it is. I'm so glad your grandparents are so accepting, I'm so so sorry. I really hope she's comes around, this must be a major shock too her, sure, she might have had an inkling before but facing the reality must be difficult. It shouldn't be, but it is. For the time being let her cool down I suppose and stay with your grandparents, maybe they'll try and talk some sense into her...

I'm sure she still loves you, you're still her child, after all.
 
Being a parent must really warp your mind in ways I can't wrap my own mind around. Why do so many parents see their children as reflections of their own worth, and on top of that why do so many of them see having gay or trans kids as a bad thing? They need to realize that their kids are people in their own right, that they can and do make decisions about their lives and that there are somethings which are out of anyone's control - parent or child.
 
Impo said:
guys there's the most adorable short film on youtube it's in another language (brazil i think) but it's still completely adorable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&feature=youtu.be

It's so cute that I had eye crinkles I don't know how to embed it but you need subtitles which can be turned on by clicking the second box on the bottom right of the video (only on browsers)

sorry for straying from the conversation feel free to ignore me
Click to expand...

I watched this short before it had subtitles and I managed to get the jest of it with my 4 years of Spanish coming in handy. Anyway, I still think it's a really cute short film and there should definitely be a part two. You can't just leave it like that!


Destructor said:
Well, I came out to mom.

I went up to mom and said I had to tell her something to which she said alright. I asked her to sit down and when she said asked why, I told her it was something really important. Her reply "Well, it's about time" I guessed she just knew what I was going to tell her. So, she sat down and I explained everything from when I first figured out I was gay until the other dayand she had a smile on the whole time. Inside I was so happy, I actually thought I got her wrong the whole time. When I was done, she stood up and gave me a hug and told me I had nothing to hide from her and that she figured but didn't want to jump to the conclusion just in case. I felt like I was going to cry I was so happy and then....

"But still, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Are you punishing me for something? Do you hate me?"

I tried to explain to her that it's just who I am but...

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't. I understand I failed as a parent and I understand I raised some kind of creature and I can accept that, though I don't have to live with it"

And so here I am, on my laptop, at my grandparents place where they, much to my surprise, accepted me for who I am and still seem to love me. Mom hates and wants nothing to do with me now.
Click to expand...

Sigh. I do hope that you mom comes around but at least you have your grandparents. Like Kawaii says I'm sure sure still loves you but she's just doing what all parents do and blaming herself for something she couldn't control. Are you planning on coming out to anyone else?
 
Destructor, I'm so sorry :'( You were very brave for coming out, that's for sure. And I'm really glad that your grandparents accept you for who you are. At least you have some sort of support.

I just really hope that your mother calms down, and thinks about this... I mean, she's blaming herself for something that shouldn't be blamed on anyone at all (You were born that way, and there is NOTHING wrong with being gay)!
Retro Bug said:
I watched this short before it had subtitles and I managed to get the jest of it with my 4 years of Spanish coming in handy. Anyway, I still think it's a really cute short film and there should definitely be a part two. You can't just leave it like that!
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'd really like to see part 2, too :D
 
Well, I think I won't have to come out to anybody else. Mom will probobly tell everybody, and those who she doesn't tell my grandparents will have to in order to explain why I'm staying with them instead.

I don't think my mom will ever understand. She's a, and please forgive the langaue, manipulative, controlling, bossy, self-absorbed, hateful little ***** with a God-like complex.
 
Destructor said:
I don't think my mom will ever understand. She's a, and please forgive the langaue, manipulative, controlling, bossy, self-absorbed, hateful little ***** with a God-like complex.
Click to expand...

Oh God that sounds just like my dad. Only he's secretly manipulative not openly bossy, but still just as bad because he can turn anyone against you. I can sympathize with you there. I hope you have an open-minded relative like my awesome mom.
 
Destructor said:
Well, I came out to mom.

I went up to mom and said I had to tell her something to which she said alright. I asked her to sit down and when she said asked why, I told her it was something really important. Her reply "Well, it's about time" I guessed she just knew what I was going to tell her. So, she sat down and I explained everything from when I first figured out I was gay until the other dayand she had a smile on the whole time. Inside I was so happy, I actually thought I got her wrong the whole time. When I was done, she stood up and gave me a hug and told me I had nothing to hide from her and that she figured but didn't want to jump to the conclusion just in case. I felt like I was going to cry I was so happy and then....

"But still, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Are you punishing me for something? Do you hate me?"

I tried to explain to her that it's just who I am but...

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't. I understand I failed as a parent and I understand I raised some kind of creature and I can accept that, though I don't have to live with it"

And so here I am, on my laptop, at my grandparents place where they, much to my surprise, accepted me for who I am and still seem to love me. Mom hates and wants nothing to do with me now.
Click to expand...
Talk about a roller coaster of a story. First it starts out slow with a bit of worry, and then it goes up to happiness and acceptance... and then comes crashing down with how she reacts.

But it's good to hear that your grandparents took you in because they love and accept you.
 
That sounds exactly like my mother, though the God complex is replaced with a pity-seeking complex. I'm really hoping yours comes to light soon, Destructor.

Speaking of parents, I waited until my mother went on a trip to finally wear some nail polish (plain white) and try to curb a horrible nail-biting habit I had. That started last Friday, and it — combined with filing what was left into a nice evenness — worked extremely well. I haven't chewed on them since. Meanwhile, band-aids and other methods did absolutely nothing for me when I tried them. This brought me to believe it was out of compulsive grooming instead of anxiety, and I stand behind it; my stress has not loosened its grip on me in just five days.

She saw my nails an hour or so ago and demanded I take the polish off (after initially thinking I used white-out of all things), taking the absolute utmost care in clarifying that "I am a guy; it [nail-biting] happens."

Needless to say, it pissed me off pretty well, especially since I'm over 18 and able to make my own decisions, including over my own physical and mental health. Not to mention I know multiple girls that chew their own nails.
 
It's kind of funny how grandparents can be the complete opposite of what you would expect. At least what I would expect, which is that they'd be older and less accepting. Now, sometimes they are. I've got one grandparent who's kind of a racist and pretty intolerant of most everything. Then I also have a grandparent who used to rent part of her house out to a gay couple since at least the 70s.

Destructor, I hope you can reconcile with your mom (by which I mean I hope she grows a heart and gets over herself), and that you can stay with your grandparents as long as you need to.

TornZero, I feel for you. (But get some better nail polish colors!)
 
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