Things you don't say to a cop.

this will only work for a woman,

"Well officer while your at it why don't we check out the back of your car?" wink wink...
 
"Can you hurry up and right the ticket, your wife is waiting on me.."
 
yes I was drinking yes I did murder the man in the back of the trunk no I won't go out with you*calls the police*
 
My dad did this when we were driving back from Canada, and got put in jail for 12 hours:

"Pop quiz! Guess what I have in my trunk!

A) Nothing
B) 50 kilos of illegal things
C) A bomb
D) Terrorists"
 
I'm not drunk, ossifer, I swear!
 
Drunk: "Ta Name ish John Koo Pahplic(John Q. Public), Ahm dwonk ahnd ahm Wihh tah golvahmint."

*flashes badge that isn't real and collapses on the officer drooling on him*

Cop: *rolls eyes* "ehh, yeah Marty, its him, alright. Geez, and the feds hired you to protect our country... I'm quivering with chilliness... WOO!"

(skips off to corner and comntinues chilliness*
 
Abskull said:
Mr. Officer Man, *blinks* I gonna f**kin' kill your little f**kin family if arrest me, b**ch!
Click to expand...
... Lol in a can right there. :P

'Let's try this one more time. I did not leave the drugs at home.'
 
right you see that dude over their yeah he told me that speed cameras might be a health hazard and he said that I shoud hit it and reverse back over it and save peoples lives

what its odd but may work
 
You want the donut? *Holds donut up high* Go fetch the donut! *Throws the donut in officer's face*

Look! A monkey! *Drives off and hits 5 pedestrians*

 
Charmander (32)

Oh my god...................you're scaring the crap out of me with your stupid little piece of paper.........please don't write me to death.........

Cyndaquil
 
'Aren't you suspended for malpractice?'
It may not seem funny to you, but yesterday I ran into a friend of mine, and he told me two of the Sparta Police got suspended for eight days for malpractice. The day it came in the newspaper was the day they got suspended. We ran into officer Hoinne (sp?) the same day in his squad car. He asked if anything was wrong and we're like "yea." and said the above line. It wasnt smart. We could have gotten a ticket for obstructing an officer, but we didn't so there-fore he WAS suspended AND impersonating a police officer.
 
Eh I'll give it a try.

*pokes Cop's stomach*
I've always wondered something. Do cops like get keys to all the donut shops in town so they can sneak into 'em in the middle of the night?! I can see in your case that it's true. Doesn't your wife feel bad about being married to a **** huge ol' porker? *eyes pop out*

Cop dude: Okay, kid. Get outta the car and walk this line.
You: While don't you ossifererer. The beer in the car'll get lonely.

Cop: Okay kid! The jig is up! I know you're drinking beer underage!
You: NO! The jig is on you **** ol' cop! I know you're cheating on your wife!

Cop: Open up the trunk kid. You're speeding and now you need to get a ticket. Plus I have reason to believe you've got illegal drugs. In the trunk.
You: No you're wrong. The drugs are in the front. The bi***** I just killed are in the trunk. That's how I work. I fight with them for a while, then shoot 'em. It's so easy. By the way, you're wife and daughter are in there.
 
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