[Pokémon] Under Control

[Psychic]

Hi, everyone! I'm new here, but I've been writing fics for quite awhile, now. When I saw the Flash Fiction competition, I knew I wanted to give it a shot (especially since I had the perfect idea for the prompt involving some of my favourite characters)! So here is my entry for Flash Fiction Week 2!

Under Control​

Caitlin focused on her breathing. Deep inhale, slow exhale. Deep inhale, slow exhale. It forced all of her thoughts and energy on this one thing, and it kept her mind blank.

"We won! We did it, Seamitar!" The teen at the other end of the battlefield jumped for joy, tackling her Samurott in a hug. "We're the first ones to beat Caitlin!" Despite his wounds, the great sea lion gave a happy roar.

The words rang in her ears as she recalled her last Pokémon, echoing in her mind until it was naught but a din. The air around Caitlin started vibrating. Her heart started beating faster, her breathing was ragged, and her muscles were beginning to tense. The force inside of her which she worked so hard to suppress was pushing with renewed vigour. It pressed against her every fibre, threatening to explode and break free of her physical body like a beast from a cage.

"Miau." The Elite Four member felt a paw on her shoulder. She turned to look at Meowstic, the white feline's ruby eyes shining. It is okay, they said. You are prepared for this.

Am I? I lost. Caitlin had never before lost a battle in her career as an Elite. She felt helpless and weak. How could she control her powers if she couldn't even defeat her challengers?

Caitlin looked again at the victor. The girl was young, but it was clear from the way she handled herself during their battle that she was experienced, and had formed deep connections with each of her Pokémon. Throughout their battle she had encouraged them, cheered for them, congratulated and consoled them for every success and defeat. Her Pokémon were some of the strongest Caitlin had ever seen, and their raw determination to fight even until the end spoke volumes. They had clearly been through a great deal together to arrive at this point.

Gazing into her Pokémon's eyes, Caitlin considered her own journey with Meowstic. They had both fought every inch to control their powers, teaching each other, learning and growing to live with their burdens. In spite of it all, Caitlin had managed to train a formidable team of Pokémon. She reminded herself constantly that she had been invited to join the Unova Elites for a reason. Did this challenger's success represent Caitlin's weakness, or was it truly a testament to the girl's strength?

Cover your ears, came Meowstic's soft reminder. Her words brought Caitlin back to the present, back to the scene of the girl and her Pokémon celebrating before her. She nodded and took a deep breath, recalling their training. Caitlin imagined two great, soft ears folding over the sides of her head, wrapping her in a warm embrace, soothing and quieting the wild energy inside. It took some time and concentration to quell the raw power burning inside her, but she could do it. As she focused, waves of calm slowly dimmed the whirlwind, and her heart stopped hammering in her chest. Her muscles started relaxing, and she managed to regain the rhythm of her breathing. The feeling of her powers attempting to break free did not go away - it never did - but now it was under control.

Meowstic blinked at her. Good?

Good. Caitlin found herself smiling. She turned to the girl, the one who had fought so hard to get here, and had succeeded. The victor and her Pokémon was watching expectantly.

"The reason I came here in the first place was to encounter trainers like you. I invite you to be my opponent again in the future, if you wish. Now, go on ahead."

 

[bobandbill]

Hi there, Meowstic. Not surprised you chose that Pokemon. =p

It's an interesting view on Caitlin, the E4 member that was also in the BF (just not able to be battled iirc...). I do wonder why that power inside her is threatening to break when she lost... does it 'trigger' so to speak when she gets emotional? She also seemed somewhat insicure to myself, particularly from this bit:

Am I? I lost. Caitlin had never before lost a battle in her career as an Elite. She felt helpless and weak. How could she control her powers if she couldn't even defeat her challengers?

This seems to imply that she's now been an E4 member for a while, and to be chosen she surely would have battled a lot, and hence likely have lost (besides, she never lost a battle _as an Elite_). So to suddenly have what seems like a panic attack and doubting she can control her powers when she loses finally now struck me as... well, interesting.

The description was neat, such as when she imagined those giant ears in calming herself down. Were those inspired by Meowstic own ones?

The first line confused me a bit:

Caitlin focused on her breathing. Deep inhale, slow exhale. Deep inhale, slow exhale. It forced all of her thoughts and energy on this one thing, and it kept her mind blank.

'It forced' - I assume you might mean the breathing, but then what is it forcing her thoughts and energy on, exactly? The power inside her?

Neat flash fiction. =)

 

[destinedjagold]

I've never really played gens 4 and 5 games though, although I did read about Caitlin's, well, uniqueness if she gets angry. Anyway, your fic is written very, very well. :3 Now I wonder if her Meowstic is just simply a companion, or part of her battling team, or both. In any case, it was interesting to read how you portray Caitlin calming herself down after losing a battle and before congratulating her challengers. :3

 

[Bay]

"Miau." The Elite Four member felt a paw on her shoulder. She turned to look at Meowstic, the white feline's ruby eyes shining. It is okay, they said. You are prepared for this.

The "they" felt a bit off as clearly male and female Meowstic have different colored furs (and other subtle features), so I think just the pronoun "she" would sound better.

Overall, I enjoyed this flash fiction very much! Stories over how experienced trainers deal with losing always interested me as various gym leaders/elites/champions react to losing in different ways.

Caitlin looked again at the victor. The girl was young, but it was clear from the way she handled herself during their battle that she was experienced, and had formed deep connections with each of her Pokémon. Throughout their battle she had encouraged them, cheered for them, congratulated and consoled them for every success and defeat. Her Pokémon were some of the strongest Caitlin had ever seen, and their raw determination to fight even until the end spoke volumes. They had clearly been through a great deal together to arrive at this point.

Gazing into her Pokémon's eyes, Caitlin considered her own journey with Meowstic. They had both fought every inch to control their powers, teaching each other, learning and growing to live with their burdens. In spite of it all, Caitlin had managed to train a formidable team of Pokémon. She reminded herself constantly that she had been invited to join the Unova Elites for a reason. Did this challenger's success represent Caitlin's weakness, or was it truly a testament to the girl's strength?

I do like how you first have Caitlin recognized what her challenger had been through to get to this point and then have her reflect what her and Meowstic been through too.

I too thought the description of when Caitlin calms herself (the Meowstic ears) close to the end is a neat touch!

 

[Psychic]

Thank you all for your replies! (And thanks bnb and Bay for posting both here and on Serebii - I shall reply there as well!)

Hi there, Meowstic. Not surprised you chose that Pokemon. =p

It's an interesting view on Caitlin, the E4 member that was also in the BF (just not able to be battled iirc...). I do wonder why that power inside her is threatening to break when she lost... does it 'trigger' so to speak when she gets emotional? She also seemed somewhat insicure to myself, particularly from this bit:
This seems to imply that she's now been an E4 member for a while, and to be chosen she surely would have battled a lot, and hence likely have lost (besides, she never lost a battle _as an Elite_). So to suddenly have what seems like a panic attack and doubting she can control her powers when she loses finally now struck me as... well, interesting.

The description was neat, such as when she imagined those giant ears in calming herself down. Were those inspired by Meowstic own ones?

The first line confused me a bit:
'It forced' - I assume you might mean the breathing, but then what is it forcing her thoughts and energy on, exactly? The power inside her?

Neat flash fiction. =)

Hehe, Meowstic is right up there as one of my all-time favourite Pokemon - does it show?

Thank you, I'm glad you found it interesting! I do imagine that Caitlin struggles the most to control her powers whenever she gets emotional, especially frustrated or angry. Caitlin coming off as insecure was definitely intentional - she still doesn't completely trust her ability to control her powers, which really hurts her self-esteem in other parts of her life. I think controlling her powers and Pokemon battling are also very closely linked for her.

I tried to remain vague about how long she had been a member of the Elite Four (in part because I don't have a realistic time frame in mind), but it hasn't necessarily been a very long time, though I see why the word "career" would make it sound otherwise. I like to imagine that there's something very different and very sobering about losing your first battle as a member of the Elite Four, though. Being offered a position as an Elite would really build up your ego, and unlike Gym Leaders or Frontier Brains, you're not supposed to lose. (Aaaaand now I want to write fic of this.) While I personally don't suffer from anxiety or anything like that, it doesn't seem to go away easily, and I see that contributing to the uphill battle for Caitlin.

Good catch! Yep, the giant ears are definitely inspired by Meowstic's - in my headcanon, Caitlin gets an Espurr to help her control her powers, and the two wind up helping and teaching each other as they grow up. Someday I will write fic about this…

Ah, I meant focusing on her breathing forces her to concentrate all of her mental energy on that, keeping her mind blank so she can remain calm. It's a common tactic in managing your emotions, but perhaps I should clarify that.

Thank you for your feedback! This was my first time writing flash fiction, and I'm glad it went well.

I've never really played gens 4 and 5 games though, although I did read about Caitlin's, well, uniqueness if she gets angry. Anyway, your fic is written very, very well. :3 Now I wonder if her Meowstic is just simply a companion, or part of her battling team, or both. In any case, it was interesting to read how you portray Caitlin calming herself down after losing a battle and before congratulating her challengers. :3

Heh, you missed the only gens Caitlin can be found in! Looking up her character bio must definitely have helped with understanding the story, haha.

Thank you very much, I'm glad you thought it was written well! Good catch - yep, Meowstic is also a companion to Caitlin (I haven't entirely decided if Meowstic also battles on her team). Thank you - I've been really interested in how Caitlin learned to control her powers, and I thought this would be a great way to explore that. Thanks for reading!

The "they" felt a bit off as clearly male and female Meowstic have different colored furs (and other subtle features), so I think just the pronoun "she" would sound better.

Overall, I enjoyed this flash fiction very much! Stories over how experienced trainers deal with losing always interested me as various gym leaders/elites/champions react to losing in different ways.


I do like how you first have Caitlin recognized what her challenger had been through to get to this point and then have her reflect what her and Meowstic been through too.

I too thought the description of when Caitlin calms herself (the Meowstic ears) close to the end is a neat touch!

Hey Bay, thanks for stopping by! The topic seems like an interesting one, especially since being a professional battler would be so integral to their identities. I'm also really interested by stories about Gym Leaders/E4/Champions, and I'd kinda like to explore them losing a little more, haha.

I see what you mean - I wasn't sure if the pronoun worked there; the "they" is supposed to refer to Meowstic's eyes. Since her gender is only revealed a few paragraphs later, it does come across as somewhat vague. Maybe it could be "It is okay, her eyes seemed to say"? Or would it sound too repetitive due to the "eyes" in the previous sentence?

Thank you, I'm glad Caitlin's reflection on their parallel journeys worked well - I needed to find a turning point that brings Caitlin to her senses, and it's a relief to know that this worked with the plot. And :D I'm really thrilled that people picked up on the Meowstic ears!


Thank you all for your feedback!



~Psychic

 

[Bay]

I see what you mean - I wasn't sure if the pronoun worked there; the "they" is supposed to refer to Meowstic's eyes. Since her gender is only revealed a few paragraphs later, it does come across as somewhat vague. Maybe it could be "It is okay, her eyes seemed to say"? Or would it sound too repetitive due to the "eyes" in the previous sentence?

Oh, okay. I was confused if Meowstic said "It is okay" to Caitlin through mind reading or something haha. Yeah I think the "Her eyes seemed to say" would work better. However, if you're worried about the eyes repetition you can probably revise that sentence a bit like this:

"Miau." Feeling a paw on her shoulder, the Elite Four member turned to look at Meowstic. It is okay, her shining ruby eyes seemed to say.

Only problem with my revised sentence is I packed a bit too much adjectives for the eyes, although "shinning" could be taken out haha.

 

[Psychic]

Oh, okay. I was confused if Meowstic said "It is okay" to Caitlin through mind reading or something haha. Yeah I think the "Her eyes seemed to say" would work better. However, if you're worried about the eyes repetition you can probably revise that sentence a bit like this:

"Miau." Feeling a paw on her shoulder, the Elite Four member turned to look at Meowstic. It is okay, her shining ruby eyes seemed to say.

Only problem with my revised sentence is I packed a bit too much adjectives for the eyes, although "shinning" could be taken out haha.

I was trying to be vague about this, as I didn't want it to necessarily be telepathy in this instance, but realistically, yeah, considering that Caitlin and Meowstic do communicate this way throughout the story, it pretty much is telepathy. XD

Hm, your alternative definitely could work, especially by removing "shining" as you said. I may just rewrite it so it isn't dodging the fact that they're really using telepathy, though!

Thanks again!

~Psychic

 

[Rediamond]

Way, way late but you reviewed Vaira so I feel like I should return that.

I liked this as a one-shot, if only because psychics have always been one of the most interesting aspects of the game universe from my perspective. It's also very seldom examined how near-unbeatable trainers and rivals react to being curbstomped by a random kid/teenager. Style-wise, it's short and everything I would've wanted to say has already been said. Meowstic's role was a little unclear but in flash fiction there's almost always going to be something like that so I can't complain too much.

Overall, it was a good read for its length.

 

[Psychic]

Way, way late but you reviewed Vaira so I feel like I should return that.

I liked this as a one-shot, if only because psychics have always been one of the most interesting aspects of the game universe from my perspective. It's also very seldom examined how near-unbeatable trainers and rivals react to being curbstomped by a random kid/teenager. Style-wise, it's short and everything I would've wanted to say has already been said. Meowstic's role was a little unclear but in flash fiction there's almost always going to be something like that so I can't complain too much.

Overall, it was a good read for its length.

Woops, sorry for the delayed response! Thank you for returning the favour - you mentioned revamping Vaira, so I'll have to check it out again sometime. :>

Thank you very much! I've got to agree - I've been fascinated by psychic-users (which, as you may have guessed, is the inspiration for my online alias) ever since seeing Sabrina in the anime, haha. I totally agree that it would be nice to see more of what those interactions look like, especially because it seems like the player characters in most Pokemon games are often beating otherwise undefeated trainers. I see Meowstic as more of a companion for Caitlin who doesn't always battle, but it's definitely difficult to include that kind of information in a way that feels natural.

Whoo, thanks! I am also a fan of shorter stories, and I'm glad that it worked out from a reader's standpoint. Thanks for stopping by, it means a lot!

~Psychic