Waiter, there is a ____ in my soup.

[UltraWing]

The rules of this game are simple. The first poster (who would be me in this case) posts a complaint of something being in their soup, and the next poster explains how they (attempted) to fix the problem. The format is this:

Waiter, there is a (noun) in my soup.

Solution.

Here is the starting post:

Waiter, there is a computer in my soup.

 

[Synerjee]

Oh, that computer is part of our special promotion, sir. If you order one bowl of soup, there is a 5% chance you'll get a surprise ingredient added. Congratulations, sir! Enjoy!

Waiter, there's a book in my soup.

 

[The Prism League]

Oh yes; but of course - you ordered the Moby Dick stew; didn't you?


Waiter - there's a Talonflame that doesn't know Brave Bird in my soup.

 

[Judge Mandolore Shepard]

Awe yes, our cook was attempting to teach his Talonflame that move when it flew in the soup.

Waiter, there's a big sword in my soup.

 

[Poki]

How embarrassing! You see, that was meant for the sword swallower fellow from the circus nearby, who happens to visit us on lunch breaks.

Waiter, there's an eye in my soup.

 

[donavannj]

Didn't you order the eye soup dish? That's perfectly normal.

Waiter, there's an automobile in my soup!

 

[Gardevoir the Dragon Slayer]

I am terribly sorry sir, it Mazda been a mistake.

Waiter, there's Nuclear warhead in my soup!

 

[Nidoking76]

Oh... yes, that's... part of our Nuclear Warhead Special^TM. Yeah, um... let me make a few calls...

Waiter, there's the theoretical concept of multiple dimensions in my soup.

 

[Morgnarok]

Waiter, there's a roach in my soup.

 

[StuperMarkio]

Sorry, that was meant for the spider queen over at table 17.

Waiter, what is this Greninja doing in my soup?

 

[Bellum]

Our apologies sir. You order the frog leg soup, but we didn't have any frog's legs. We had to substitute them for our cook's Pokemon.

Waiter, there's a bowl of soup in a bowl of soup in my soup.

 

[Devoxys12]

Oh yes, you get 3 bowls for the price of one. Be happy.
Waiter, there's a sniper in my soup.

 

[Astraea]

Oh yeah my son was playing with that sniper.

Waiter, there's a pidgeot laying eggs in my soup

 

[Devoxys12]

It's our new recipe, the Pidgey Egg soup. We force a Pidgeot to lay eggs in the soup, break the eggs, and voila.

Waiter, there's a tank in my soup.

 

[nerdfrog]

The army must have mistaken our kitchen as the parking lot.

Waiter, there is nothing in my bowl.

 

[Urist McHemlock]

I'll fill that bowl up.
Waiter, there is a finger in my bowl.

 

[Devoxys12]

That's your finger.
Waiter, there's a iPhone 6 in my soup.

 

[Urist McHemlock]

Bend it and see if it is to your liking.
Waiter, I found lead paint in my soup.

 

[Devoxys12]

Ah yes, isn't this your order? #666 Lead Paint Soup?
Waiter, there's a waiter in my soup.

 

[Centipede Chan]

The other waiter waited too long to weigh the soup.

Soup, there is a waiter in my Katy Perry.