What about the state of children these days?

[Silais]

It seems like children are getting worse and worse, and no one is attempting to reign these psychotic, self-centered, socially inept creatures in to reality anymore. I see children nowadays throwing massive tantrums in public places, ignoring their parents' requests maliciously, destroying property, bullying other students, bullying teachers, and showing no respect for anyone or anything. Even at 19 years old, I see how far the next generation has fallen.

I was thinking about this subject because there are three children next door to us who have never known discipline in their entire lives. We've warned them not to cross onto our lawn or driveway because my boyfriend works with dangerous mechanical equipment when he is home, but even after telling them to "GET OFF OUR PROPERTY" at least once a day since January, they continue to invade our space, pull up our flowers, run ruts into our lawn with their bicycles, touch my boyfriend's motorcycles (which is a BIG no-no), yell and scream obnoxiously, and cross onto our driveway to peek into the garage while my boyfriend is welding, cutting metal, or doing other extremely dangerous tasks. Their parents make absolutely no effort to control them. Had I acted this way even once, I would have been swatted and had privileges taken away; my bad behavior would've went bye-bye immediately. Nowadays it seems like gently telling them "No" without any follow up or actual punishment is the only course of action. Pathetic!

Is it just me, or have parents completely lost their desire to be parents and allow their children to run around wild?

 

[Kanzler]

I don't really see anything of that sort. It's case-to-case I guess. Probably having to do with parents working multiple jobs and not spending any quality time with the kids.

 

[Silais]

In the case of the three children next door, the mother does not work while the father works part-time. They're a semi-wealthy family I suppose. Neither parent ever knows where their children are; it's frustrating to watch. They spend all of their time in the house and thrust their children outside, and when they look for them they can't find them because they don't watch them. They're so irresponsible.

 

[Esper]

Well, in some cases it can be a money/work thing since lots of families have to have two parents working to provide for everyone. That wasn't necessarily the case as much in the past. There are also a lot of technological babysitters such as the television and the internet so I think all of us are a little more detached from one another than people were 10 or 20 years ago.

But I dunno. I've seen some well-behaved kids and some not well-behaved kids. I know I remember the bad ones a lot more easily than the others.

 

[jcl]

I do not think your example represents all children currently living today. I have taken care of many children and the majority of them are well behaved. Also, I do not think that it is a generational issue, but rather a biological one... Children in general tend to be spoiled brats, even if they do have strict parents that discipline them. Some of my cousins, for example (who are in their late 20's-mid 30's) were very misbehaved as children despite their strict upbringing. As children grow older, however, they will change and will probably be asking this very question themselves. :P

 

[BubbleBeams]

There are really a lot of factors that may make it seem like kids are getting worse. There are plenty of single-parent households and households where both parents have to work, which gives them less time with their kids. That doesn't mean that their kids don't get disciplined or that this is even detrimental to their kids. But there are plenty of scenarios where the parents are just too exhausted to fight with their children, and so they give into whatever they're demanding (I would argue this usually refers more to younger kids). If this pattern starts when the kids are young they will likely grow up knowing they're able to manipulate their parents and get away with more.

A lot of parents today also try too hard to be the best friend because they don't want their kids to hate them and I think that also becomes a problem.

Generally speaking, though, I doubt the younger generations are really much worse than our own. Every generation always says that the younger generations are getting worse, but usually they end up growing up to be intelligent and productive adults for the most part. There are the obvious exceptions.

 

[Plumpyfoof]

I have noticed this.
In your case Silais, you should speak with the parents. Upon receiving an overly lovely "Get f***ed, don't preach to me how to raise my children" earful you can take them to court. You more than likely won't make any money out of it but at least you get those filthy animals out of your life.
Oh, if they are reasonable about it, employ the three strikes rule.

Also on-topic, children are highly influenced by everything that goes on around them. And smoking is cool when you're under 16 now apparently. I loathe cigarettes far more than any drug you can name me, but that's a different story.
Anyway! I definitely think parents should be setting the example EARLY, making it clear to them before they're exposed to it in the real world that it is bad and will not be tolerated.
It's also important to have a healthy relationship with children for parents to quickly earn the respect of their children. I'm quite confident in saying that the respect children have for their parents changes like the weather and as a parent one of the hardest things about keeping them in line is having them respect you and your demands.

 

[Trev]

Parents are really the same way too. My step-dad is one of the most childish people in my house, and he's 40. He glares at me while I'm eating anything at the table. Not just stares, glares. Like, am I not allowed to eat in my own household? That's why I never eat when they're at home except for dinner :P

Case point, parents and kids both suck nowadays. Parents can't raise kids, and kids can't act like adults. It's just how the world is now. I pride myself on being a golden child, but I'm not even perfect. I've yelled at my step-dad numerous times because he was being immature, which no parent should ever do when dealing with their kids. But hey, live and let live, and put up a fence if you have to.

 

[Shizzable]

I'm really sad to have been born in this generation. A lot of people make the argument that every generation has been considered worse than the previous one for all of time, but I think that it's gotten really bad by this point. There are so many uneducated, uncivilized, generally terrible people it's just unsettling to even think about.

But is it the parent's fault? To an extent, yes. I personally think a lot of parents won't spend the time and effort to help their kid grow. This is sorta because most new parents are relatively young, and they think "Taking care of your kids? That's for old people. I'm gonna go out and party!" I'm lucky enough to have had great parents who made sure my childhood was awesome. Others weren't so lucky.

However, you can't say it's just the parents' fault. A lot of these kids, because of so many different reasons (there's the internet, lack of discipline, etc.), have grown to be little jerks. You really can't put the blame on one single source.

 

[Phantom1]

Kids these days.

My room mate's kids are at our apartment every other weekend. They're younger teenagers. They are awesome kids, very polite, funny, pretty mature for their age.

Then there's their cousin that visits.

The first day I met him, you know, I was the nice person, treated him like a guest, blah blah. He overheard me talking to someone about Call of Duty. He said his mom let him play, and my room mate confirmed it. He asked if he could play for a while I said sure I had to work anyway soon. So I watched him play for a while before work.

The THINGS he said to people online.

I'm twenty two years old and I wouldn't say those things.

It was when he called someone the 'f' word, derrogatory toward homosexuals 'f' word, that I pulled the plug. I turned off the console and told him that if I heard him say that in MY house again he would not be welcome, his aunt being my room mate or not.

I then proceeded to change wireless pass code and put safety codes on the tv.

He's twelve years old, and he talks like the most sexist, rude, insensitive pig I... I don't even think I've MET someone who's really talked like that, especially as a guest in someone's house! And I grew up in a rough as hell neighborhood!

When I came home from work I heard him talking to his mom, and he talked to her like he talked to the other gamers online.

What the hell is wrong with kids? I mean, when I was this kid's age I called adults 'sir' and 'm'am' and I would have been grounded for life if I talked to my mother like that.

 

[Blade_of_darkness]

Here's the way I see it: If the parents aren't working multiple jobs, they're either neglectful, or too soft (i.e. they give in to their child's every wish.)

Having a child is an investment in both time & money, & if the said parents can't put one of those things in, they're ineffective at best. Some of them think that being a parent is as simple as feeding them & waiting for them to grow up. It doesn't work like that - a parent has got to do a lot more than that.

 

[Youngster Timmy]

When it comes down to it, most of it's from TV. Take it from me, a 12 year old kids these days watch shows like Family Guy, South Park, etc. A lot of my friends watch them, and I avoid them anytime possible. Oftentimes, it also comes from video games. As pointed out above, most parentsare afraid to be mean and never say no. I know a 9 year old who's favorite game is Call of Duty, and curses like there's no tomorrow. I was once his Sunday School teacher, and it's clear that lots of kids, including himself, don't get enough disipline.

 

[Plumpyfoof]

Call Of Duty needs to be rated harsher. Parents don't even think about it they just buy it because their kid wants it.
Every single child I have met/witnessed plays COD, like without fail. I think there may be a correlation here. My brothers play COD and their mouths are disgusting whilst they're playing (I've bullied them into public politeness, you're welcome). My middle brothers friend however is the interesting one. He hadn't played the game until my brother introduced him. This kid was the quietest, most polite, shy, always said please and thank you person ever but about a month after he was coming over to play COD he become exponentially more vulgar and completely disregarded anyone around him.

COD ruins kids. I've seen it first hand.

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

Honestly I think it's ****** parenting. I work with kids and these parents are the most uptight ****s, who you can't even tell their kid to get back into control because they're so crazy. I mean, you get the parents who actually discipline their kids, but then you get that ******* who acts like their kids are so amazing that you can't criticize them whatsoever because they act like they're angels... eugh. That's when you get the kids doing crazy ****.

 

[Dter ic]

What the hell is wrong with kids? I mean, when I was this kid's age I called adults 'sir' and 'm'am' and I would have been grounded for life if I talked to my mother like that.

The way I see things is that it's likely due to technological advances in use today - the internet and smart phones and all that.

Parents are probably finding it harder to enforce parenting because of the open nature of the internet, practically an open playground where anyone with internet access can use it and so this pretty much leads to children meeting other people all over the world.
Suppose you had a well behaved child who goes on his Xbox or w/e online and has a match on some game. Some other kid in the game swears and your child hears it. Now if a parent overhead the swear offline (like a conversation between friends at home) naturally the parent would tell the child that swearing is wrong and not tolerated. But because it's online, it's possibe that the parents leaves the child unattended and lets the child pay on the console. Unaware that a kid swore online the parent doesn't mention anything about it and your child would therefore probably find swearing acceptable because the parent hasn't said anything wrong about it.

Perhaps parents need to be educated on how they can keep their children safe whist using the computer or playing online. E.g. have filters in place to ensure that online activity is safe and supervise children when they're on the games console or something.

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

Parents are probably finding it harder to enforce parenting because of the open nature of the internet, practically an open playground where anyone with internet access can use it and so this pretty much leads to children meeting other people all over the world.
Suppose you had a well behaved child who goes on his Xbox or w/e online and has a match on some game. Some other kid in the game swears and your child hears it. Now if a parent overhead the swear offline (like a conversation between friends at home) naturally the parent would tell the child that swearing is wrong and not tolerated. But because it's online, it's possibe that the parents leaves the child unattended and lets the child pay on the console. Unaware that a kid swore online the parent doesn't mention anything about it and your child would therefore probably find swearing acceptable because the parent hasn't said anything wrong about it.

There's a really simple work around for this.

Don't let kids under 13 on the internet.

Really, it's not that hard if you know how to use a router and have basic networking skills. Sure, you're going to eventually have to teach kids how to use the internet, but there's no real reason why kids under 13 should be going on the internet, except for educational purposes at school or something. Throw in COPPA into the mix and it really shows that children don't really need to be sneaking on the internet before they hit 13 anyhow. That's how I feel, and I was blocked from the internet until I was 17, and yet I can use it just fine.

 

[Mana1]

Children aren't changing, parenting is. There are fewer strict parents in the modern age (either due to them being lazy, or busy working/single parents/etc.). 'Grounding' means losing access to one of multiple consoles, or being locked in a room with the internet.

I don't think there is a larger population of rude or dangerous or violent children, but they are more willing to push the boundaries.

Sadly I don't think there's a quick fix. Parents need to manage their children.

 

[stp]

I don't really understand the CoD hate. I cuss during any game, not just Call of Duty. I play CoD occasionally and I am still incredibly respectful to the elders around me; it's all based on parenting, not the video game a kid plays.

It's kind of insane how disrespectful some kids are, though, and I just think it's parents being incredibly too lenient. I've heard kids in my school disrespect teachers, their own parents, and even other people around me. I've heard one of my friends tell his mother that he is going "to kill her"; while it's assumed to be a joke and it's decently funny, if I said that to my mother she would downright slap me. Note that this friend does exceptionally well in school and is very bright. Another friend complains to me that the boys in her school are incredibly disrespectful to other girls. I really don't get it, it's just the horrible parenting.

Drugs and alcohol is such an influence too. Seriously, I have friends that I would never think smoke weed or drink, but they do it because they want to fit in and think that there's nothing better to do. Friends tell me that they have no time to read, yet they're out getting high.

 

[Bounsweet]

It's not the children's fault. It's the generation of parents that are rearing the children. I'm a firm believer that no child is bad, but children can be poorly disciplined.

Not all children are as you describe them, either. I worked in a third grade classroom last spring and only about 1/5 of the class had any behavioral issues, and that's pretty standard.

Though older children, around the 12-17 age group, have definitely been effected by this technological boom, and not for the best. The Internet is a mean place and kids really should not be on here, lol. Let them deal with their middle/high school bullies first. People are entirely unashamed jerks online because of the anonymity of it and it doesn't do kids any good except to make them mimic what they see, and become jerks as well.​

 

[Blueredemption]

I know how call of duty affects the younger generation first hand, i lost my best friend to it a couple years back. Once he got the game he became less social, his grades dropped, became a generaly mean and disrespectful person. He just was not the same anymore. He goes to a different school now but it still sticks with me.

I know thats not the only thing that can cause this, i myself have been not very respectful at times and i acknowledge that. with that said, i agree with alot of the things said here. Parents could do more to stop this, i know mine do :)