What do you do when your parents do this?

[Toutebelle]

Right now, my parents are arguing. I asked them what was going on, and my dad told me to stay out of it, and "if I butt in one more time, no computer for the rest of the weekend". This is the hardest thing to deal with while I'm at home because I don't feel safe - and it's especially bad when the argument won't just end because my parents refuse to go in different rooms when they're angry at each other. My sister refuses to talk to me about this, and I basically have to fend for myself while my parents (especially Mom) raise their voices. (At least I don''t have to worry about them divorcing since they usually get along well. But arguing makes me nervous.)

How do you guys cope when your parents are arguing?

 

[Nihilego]

oh man this used to happen so much

I'd just go out haha. I'd go to a friend's house or something (read: invite myself over, but they understood anyway) and just chill there for a while and think about something else. I became really desensitised to it because it was quite a common occurrence and there were usually worse things going on anywho. One thing I'd not recommend is getting involved yourself, though. When people are full-on arguing even though they usually get on it's pretty much gonna end up a shouting match more than anything else. Intervening likely won't do anything but get you drawn into it, which I really doubt you want.

Good luck with it all tho. I'm sure it'll blow over soon enough but yeah, I'd say the best way to handle it is to not get involved with it. Of course if you wanna talk about it with someone since your sister won't, you've got all of us lot. :]

 

[Khoshi]

Doesn't happen to me anymore considering they don't live together now, but it's best not to get in the middle of it. I've been there, and they tell me to stfu and go away. The best thing to do is to preoccupy yourself and let the argument end on its own. Intervention isn't really the wisest thing to do, so stay out of it. I like to hop on my computer and listen to music, or perhaps take a walk or visit a friend, as Razor suggested d:

Just try not to think too hard about it, as they usually don't even mention you in the argument. You said they get along, so they'll be back to their happy selves after the event. As RL said, we're here to help you out~

 

[Raine]

Thankfully hardcore, destructive arguments between my parents don't happen anymore. Now, most of the time it's because my mom's being a baby and starts crap out of nowhere about nothing -.- Still love her though! When they used to argue, my sister and I would keep to ourselves and let them deal with it themselves. They wouldn't talk to each other for a couple days, but they eventually got over it like nothing happened. We've never really tried to get in between them during their arguments; they didn't really tell us to stay out of it either...We just both avoided them while they were upset XD

 

[Shining Raichu]

I'd suggest doing something dramatic and outlandish as a cry for attention. Nothing like self-harm or anything stupid like that, just something that draws the attention away from their arguing and onto you.

One time when my mother was raging I touched a lightbulb and burned myself and started crying and it softened her the hell down right away. I'm not suggesting that you do that, but maybe just start crying and say you have really bad stomach pains or something?

 

[Tlachtli]

In 23 years I've never known my parents to argue. Heck, I don't even remember a time one's raised their voice at the other. I was lucky enough to grow up with a great home life, so I can't say I know what it must be like for kids whose parents argue often.

Now when I was in elementary school my next door neighbors would fight constantly. I remember more than one occasion when we could hear them yelling at each other from inside our own house; keep in mind, this was a suburban neighborhood with full-blown yards between brick houses, so that should tell you about what they were like. They weren't exactly stellar parents either, evidenced by the fact that their daughter got raging drunk, stole a car, then crashed it--when she was 14.

 

[Briar]

i don't usually do anything when my parents argue, tbh. during their "arguments," anyway, my mother always has the upper hand, so it's pretty much a one-sided thing. i try not to make their "fights" any of my business, in any case, because i know that, in the end, i'd have nothing to contribute to the discussion.

 

[Starry Windy]

My parents almost never argue, but if they're arguing, it was just they're throwing jokes at each other ^^ So I have nothing to say to them {XD}

 

[Darkwing Ducklett]

I block it out with music, by going upstairs and reading a book/playing a game, or by closing the door of whatever room I happen to be in. My parents argue on a regular basis, as they seem to delight in winding one another up, and one thing leads to another. If it weren't for my little brother - and me to a lesser extent I would hope - I have no doubt they would have split up a long time ago.

I'll hear all about it at a later point anyway, since my parents use me as their personal outlet against one another in the aftermath. It's none of my business, but both seem determined to MAKE it my business by venting to me, and then asking what the other has said behind their back. I don't really notice any of it now unless I stop to think about it. They can vent if they feel the need to - better they're angry at one another than me - and they're both as bad as each other as far as I'm concerned. It's nothing but talk; it always blows over.

 

[All Black]

Man, right first I wouldn't recommend doing what that person said - about doing something outlandish as a cry for attention. You could, but we don't know your parents. It could make things worse for you. It could get you in trouble, it could put you in counselling or meds when you don't need it. I'd try talking to one of them, the more sympathetic one about it, after they have calmed down. One of the hardest things for humans is actual patience. Not succumbing to boredom, but waiting until the opportunity is right and then dealing with it appropriately. It is a pretty difficult skill to obtain because it goes against our general dog-like nature of need, acceptance, and companionship. But it is needed to solve problems properly.


Next, my biological dad is some 6ft 6 Maori. He was a complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ - an alcoholic, smoked all kinds of drugs. He used to beat me up when drunk. As a teen I was tall and strong too - I'd obviously retaliate. It'd cause all kinds of trouble for the both of us once we were on calmer grounds. We are both muscular, both of us can take a punch and both of us can really throw one and leave a mark. It didn't feel horrible for us, we were fine - but it looked much worse than it was. It caused so many troubles in the way of work, school, etc. So all I can say is that if your parents ever hurt you physically, you're gonna need to get help. It took my mom, and myself, to realize that. We have a better life for it now, it takes work; but if you need help you need it.

 

[Corrin]

They're divorced, but they used to argue all the time and my brother and I would just go outside for a walk or in the basement room to play video games.

Basically I just try to ignore it, no use stressing myself over it.

 

[Plumpyfoof]

Whenever my parents get into a heated debate. My brother and I hover around just to make sure no one does anything stupid like getting physical. If we sense it getting out of hand we step in and mediate the situation by separating them into different rooms until they calm down.
Sometimes it's like they're the children.

It's easier to be the mediator when I have my brother around, we both sort of split off and deal with them separately. It's not a big deal anymore, people are going to argue but we know they love each other and that it isn't our fault if they split.