What is love?

[Åzurε]

Huh. It's interesting that people seem to be thinking of love only as it relates to romance. Agape (that is, ah-GAH-pay) love is something entirely different from, as it says in the article, eros or philia love. What does a person make of those? Out of context, I usually think of the word love as meaning agape.

 

[Richard Lynch]

As far as the OP seems to be talking: Is there somebody who you would go out of your way to help, even if it's outside your comfort zone? It's that sort of mentality. It's a lot deeper than that, and as Sorano said, the specifics seem to vary between individuals, but willingness to sacrifice is a solid part of loving relationships.

Now Richard, by your definition it seems eunuchs would not be able to feel emotional love like most people. Care to present a little insight?
Also, "Simple to explain" and "we really don't know". Nag na-nag nag nag.

Spoiler:

Oh baby, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me.

No more.

Oh Azure, my old arch nemesis. ;)

What I was saying is that the effect is simple to explain. Why we biologically feel certain ways, what happens to us when we feel "in love". Now the cause of this effect, the beginning trigger, is a bit more complicated, and no one would claim to know for certain what causes it, but like I said, most of us believe it's probably has to do with our sexual instincts.

And eunuchs? I'll admit, I'm not the most learned man on biology (don't forget, I'm a chemist; and a physical chemist at that, so I'm very nearly at the opposite side of the scientific spectrum), but I do believe that oftentimes the sex drive diminishes quite a bit. I guess what I'm saying is, yes, eunuchs would not feel emotional love to the extent as most normal people. (Ever notice that most eunuchs were priests and never married? We must separate the idea of "fondness" of a person with the idea of "loving" them. I believe the former is almost totally psychological while the latter is a mixture of sexual/biological and psychological).

However, this is purely because a body's chemistry (and a brain's psychology) differs from person to person. There are people that, because of chemical imbalances, can not feel "love" like normal people. And, on the other side, there are people that feel the attraction to intensely that they can commit murder over it. It's simply a level of degree, which can be explained by science.

I don't really know what I'm trying to prove here, truth be told. I guess I'm just saying that "love" is not very mysterious, it's not mystical, it's not magical, and it's generally overrated. It's an exaggeration of instinct, probed by the human mind and, I believe, heavily influenced by society (such as the notion of monogamy being the romantic ideal to most people). Y'know?

 

[Chibi Robo]

Why dont you just google it then.

 

[JakeyBoy]

I- you bastard, I came in here with the intention of posting that exact gif.

I just realized while jamming to What Is Love, it's not really an emotion, is it? You can be happy, you can be sad, but you can't be love. You can be in love. So it's a place. Excuse me while I boogy.

 

[Chibi Robo]

I- you bastard, I came in here with the intention of posting that exact gif.

No reason for the harsh language, this is all fun and games mate.

 

[A Pixy]

The concept of love, is as follows:

Spoiler:

:D

But all joking aside, I'm not quite sure, I could be corny and just say 'It's two humans feeling overwhelming, positive emotion for each other.' but it's confusing and some say it's crazy. There's a huge difference between a love two young adults would have and motherly love. I'm probably definately wrong about what I've said, but when in doubt, go to a dictionary.

And even that doesn't really clear much up. >_>

 

[Sydian]

Love has the most meaning out of any word, yet is one of those that cannot truly be defined.

 

[Droidz]

@Sydian
Is that a quote by someone or is it something you thought up just then because its really quite beautiful.

 

[TheReal]

I doubt someone will bother to read "my" answer, but:

Love is a fire that burns unseen,
a wound that aches yet isn't felt,
an always discontent contentment,
a pain that rages without hurting,

a longing for nothing but to long,
a loneliness in the midst of people,
a never feeling pleased when pleased,
a passion that gains when lost in thought.

It's being enslaved of your own free will;
it's counting your defeat a victory;
it's staying loyal to your killer.

But if it's so self-contradictory,
how can Love, when Love chooses,
bring human hearts into sympathy?

This is from a Portuguese writter!
Also, just listen to the Haddaway song like many users refered it. What is love? Baby don't hurt me..

Just to finish, my vision of love:
Love is like grass, it's always growing but when comes a cow everything is ruined.

 

[Kishijoten]

Someone please explain this concept to me.

For some reason, "love" escapes me. I mean, I like people, but love...?

I don't know, can't seem to feel it...any explanations?

Hm, this one is a toughie, but really love can mean a lot of thing to people. But to answer your question I think what their trying to say is even though there are problems the feeling of love washes those feelings away and make them not worried about their problems. I might be wrong, but that's what I think it means.

 

[Throat]

This is from a Portuguese writter!
Also, just listen to the Haddaway song like many users refered it. What is love? Baby don't hurt me..

Just to finish, my vision of love:
Love is like grass, it's always growing but when comes a cow everything is ruined.

There's a brazilian band that plays a song exactly like that

 

[Dawn]

doesn't all that handing out of positive emotion drain you?

You'd be shocked how possible it is to build yourself to be able to dish that stuff out like no tomorrow.

I find the above metaphor very fitting.

Agape (that is, ah-GAH-pay) love is something entirely different from, as it says in the article, eros or philia love.

I learned a new word today. A new word I intend to memorize and use.

Untrue! Love can be explained quite simply through biochemistry.

That is, it derives from the hypothalamus, in the brain (lower region, I think) which interacts quite heavily with the nervous system (which explains some symptoms of "love", such as heavy breathing and sweating). The hypothalamus communicates with the pituitary gland of your brain, which releases a slew of chemicals (hormones) into your body which in turn create a kind of a high (such as the release of serotonin, the body's natural "feel good" chemical). In other words, it's a perfectly natural drug.

This follows through with the fact that when your "heart is broken", as they say, this release of chemicals is halted and you go through a kind of withdrawal, among other physiological symptoms that probably derive from the psychology of the situation (which is, of course, related directly to the psychology of the person!).

As to what causes this, we don't really know. Most researchers believe it derives singularly from the sex drive, but others think it has higher meaning than being purely instinctual. I'm inclined to believe in the first option (since the pituitary gland doesn't release the chemicals itself, but instead interacts with the sex organs, and they cause the release of the chemicals), but there's lots of other details that are quite beyond me as a scientist.

I will say one thing, though (and I point this out every chance I get), but chocolate does many of the same things to your biochemistry as "love". ;)

So, Mr. Lynch, I'm curious as to what you have to say about the genophobic. How can someone who's terrified of sex and often experiences extreme emotional discomfort as a response to sexuality be perfectly normal in terms of how they feel and react to love?

On another note, I hear about chocolate and love a lot, but I personally get more out of any healthy meal in terms of my mood or how much I enjoy it then I do chocolate. I blame my childhood, where it was the opposite.

 

[Richard Lynch]

So, Mr. Lynch, I'm curious as to what you have to say about the genophobic. How can someone who's terrified of sex and often experiences extreme emotional discomfort as a response to sexuality be perfectly normal in terms of how they feel and react to love?

Well, I would say that the genophobia (like all phobias) derive straight from the psychology of the individual, and while it may have physiological effects, it doesn't totally affect the chemistry of the body. So, in essence, the chemicals are still released (because instinctively we desire sex; Maslow, in his Hierarchy of Needs, places sex at the bottom/basic tier, right alongside food and sleep), but the psychological fear of the act itself causes a person to withdraw from the act itself.

The very fact that love in relationships vary (by the degree and style to which people approach them, ie, clingy/borderline-esque dependence vs. total apathy, monogamy vs. polygamy, straight-lace vs. BDSM, et al.), in a way, proves that it is relative to the individual (and thus, is merely a product of the psychology, biology and biochemistry of the individual, since those are what make us us!) rather than being some sort of cosmic, eternal power that songwriters and poets make it out to be.

Don't get me wrong, I believe "love" is a wonderful thing. But like I said to Azure, it's not magical or mystical in any way, shape or form; it's science.

 

[Uecil]

Love is a desire for something or someone. It can be through anything, personality, looks. Love should really consist of trust, affection, care and many more.
heck, what do I know? I have had love torn up in front of me all the time

 

[Superjub]

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love

_____________________________
Hmm.. Alright whatever.

Love is one of the things you feel when you get it. I never had it though.

As soon as I saw the title, this is exactly what i thought. heck I was going to post the lyrics too! xD

Anyway, love is when you are attracted to someone or something. :P Well, thats what I think love is. :P

 

[Åzurε]

Do you love your mom? I hope somebody said yes.

Are you attracted to, or do you desire your mom? I hope somebody said no. Think on it.

 

[Richard Lynch]

Do you love your mom? I hope somebody said yes.

Are you attracted to, or do you desire your mom? I hope somebody said no. Think on it.

You ever read Freud? He's got some things to say 'bout that. :\

Truthfully, I'm inclined to believe that love for a parent or sibling is very similar to love for a friend, or love for an idol. It's not sexual by any means (it's one of the few theories I think Freud got completely wrong, his "Oedipus/Electra Complex), but moreso stems purely from the psyche. Think about it... you may have absolutely nothing in common with a parent, but yet you're quite fond of them (and I say "fond" because I believe the word "love" is to vague, and doesn't allow differentiation between sexual desire and psychological desire). Why? Perhaps its out of respect, or perhaps it is behavioral (ever hear of a kid raised by a pack of wolves, or something like a puppy raised by a cat, etc... it's not only a study on behaviorist theory on the social norm, but it also gives light to ideas of the whole "fondness" thing I'm talking about), or, maybe it IS instinctual, as with the whole idea of some animals believe the very first thing they see when they're born and open their eyes is their mother, and cling to them.

I'll be honest and say I'm thinking this up on a whim, so it has little structure. Sorry if it's confusing. My overall point is that "love" for a parent is totally different from "love" for a spouse, as far as reason for that "love" goes.

Hmmm... I need to think about this more. :P

 

[Åzurε]

You ever read Freud? He's got some things to say 'bout that. :\

I should have seen that one coming from a mile away. ><()

Truthfully, I'm inclined to believe that love for a parent or sibling is very similar to love for a friend, or love for an idol. It's not sexual by any means (it's one of the few theories I think Freud got completely wrong, his "Oedipus/Electra Complex), but moreso stems purely from the psyche. Think about it... you may have absolutely nothing in common with a parent, but yet you're quite fond of them (and I say "fond" because I believe the word "love" is to vague, and doesn't allow differentiation between sexual desire and psychological desire). Why? Perhaps its out of respect, or perhaps it is behavioral (ever hear of a kid raised by a pack of wolves, or something like a puppy raised by a cat, etc... it's not only a study on behaviorist theory on the social norm, but it also gives light to ideas of the whole "fondness" thing I'm talking about), or, maybe it IS instinctual, as with the whole idea of some animals believe the very first thing they see when they're born and open their eyes is their mother, and cling to them.

Bringing the love one has for their parents down to the level of the love one has for their friends is a sad thing in my book... However, I understand what you were conveying.

I have a strong urge to bring up the Subject Which Must Not Be Named. No, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean religion.

Hmmm... I need to think about this more. :P

It's never a bad thing to do.

 

[Richard Lynch]

Bringing the love one has for their parents down to the level of the love one has for their friends is a sad thing in my book... However, I understand what you were conveying.

Really? I don't think so. Some people have friends that are better to them than their parents. Some kids have incredibly abusive parents and wonderful friends. I think it's a matter of degree of that "love"; directed intensity, you know? So, what you're implying is, if someone is living with a friend who takes care of them, watches after them, treats them like family, it's a sad thing to "love" them more than, say, a molesting or abusive parent? What about foster parents for an abused (or even just plain orphaned) kid? Is it unnatural or sad for them to "love" the foster parents more than their biological ones, parents they may never have met? There are too many variables here to have a black-and-white outlook on this.

I have a strong urge to bring up the Subject Which Must Not Be Named. No, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean religion.

I'm always game for a religious debate. ;)
However, I don't think the mods would appreciate it none-too-much.

But I will say that religion seems omnipotent and can have implications in any and all aspects of life, body and mind (ie, everything). So, much like we do in mathematics, let's cancel out like-terms! haha...

If: L = Life, B = Body, M = Mind, R = Religion, and E = Everything, then:

R*L+R*B+R*M = R*E, then
R(L+B+M) = R*E, then
L+B+M = E

:)

 

[Åzurε]

Really? I don't think so. Some people have friends that are better to them than their parents. Some kids have incredibly abusive parents and wonderful friends. I think it's a matter of degree of that "love"; directed intensity, you know? So, what you're implying is, if someone is living with a friend who takes care of them, watches after them, treats them like family, it's a sad thing to "love" them more than, say, a molesting or abusive parent? What about foster parents for an abused (or even just plain orphaned) kid? Is it unnatural or sad for them to "love" the foster parents more than their biological ones, parents they may never have met? There are too many variables here to have a black-and-white outlook on this.

What I was thinking about was how sad it is when a kid prefers to have a stronger relationship with somebody he met at school than with his own parents. I understand the implications of having abusive parents/foster parents/etc. Those are exceptions to the rule. Note, I did not say law.

People talk about how black-and-white morality is the wrong way to look at things...
If you have a black rope and a white rope it's easy to see what colors they are. If you split the ropes into their individual fibers and tie them back up as one rope, it's hard to pick out the color of one fiber from the "gray" rope. That's just sort of how I see the world. If there are only gray options available to you, you- or someone else- must have missed the opportunity to choose the white option. Children are products of their environment, and if their environment is unnatural or confused, how can a person expect the kid and their life to not be?

I'm always game for a religious debate. ;)
However, I don't think the mods would appreciate it none-too-much.

So true. I keep hearing about the awful repercussions of that kind of thing, but I don't think I've ever participated in one that ended badly here. o.O

Post 1700! Hurrah for the Cascadia Earthquake! \o/