First and only was my ex. We had a rough couple of years. In the beginning, he was a very kind, proud, intelligent and morally-sound young man. It appeared he had his life on track, wanting to go to school to acquire a degree in order to become an IT or a game developer at the Montreal Ubisoft.
Three years or so into the relationship, he had a complete change in face. There were a few signs I had ignored: breaking my things, threatening me, telling me who I can and cannot talk to (I couldn't have men on Facebook, and I wasn't allowed to talk to my sister (I did this anyway)). He would go onto my FB account and erase any guys I had on there, and criticize me if I re-added them. In some instances, he would belittle me and call me a wh*re or something similar for even speaking to other men, regardless sexual orientation.
I forgave the emotional, spiritual and physical abuse at the time, and while living in Ontario I didn't utter a word to anyone about it until one day, a confrontation resulted in a black eye, a fat lip and various other bruises. He was upset that I had adopted a three-year-old calico instead of an eight-week-old kitten (which the SPCA wouldn't release as it was sick).
A year later, I had forgiven even that, and after seeing him in school and achieving good grades (from what he told me anyway), I moved back to Quebec with him and worked full-time at a grocery store. I ended up supporting him (again), and he quit school and stole money out of my bank account, manipulated me for money for alcohol and weed and a few months later, again began to emotionally and physically abuse me. He would throw me against the wall and spit in my face, pin me to the floor and scream at me, stab the walls with knives, punch my arms and stomach, grab me by the throat to keep my still. The reasons were again, various: in some cases, he was convinced I was "entering his mind" and showing him images of rape and battery; in others, he believed I was cheating on him with no evidence. He even went as far as to threaten a co-worker while I was working and causing a scene, which ultimately led to his banning on store property.
And that's really just a summary of things that happened at the time; there was much, much more, and I don't know why I put up with it. I was heartbroken for a long time even in the relationship, and I tried to the last day to help him and to seek medical assistance for his psychopathic rage and outbursts. From what I could tell, he suffered from a sub-type of schizophrenia (he even admitted to being medicated at one point, but for what he wouldn't tell me). I'll tell you, it was very unsettling to see him tilt his head at me and cackle like a witch in some deranged movie, then subsequently tell me he created everything and everyone "will pay" for the injustice done to him.
Seeing how he refused to help himself was the most heartbreaking. The final straw was actually enacted upon by my work after he attempted to strangle me (caught on camera) in the backroom, destroy corporate property, assault other employees and customers... only two days or so after he threatened me with a knife in the Tim Horton's parking lot next door (my manager and supervisors were aware of this, and we had wanted to turn him in prior, but our "plan" backfired). He was taken away and my dad came and brought me home. The following day, the police contacted me about my ex' having climbed four stories and broken into the apartment building - exactly what my father thought he might do. It was awful. Good thing I wasn't there :(
So it might not be a typical heartbreak. I was sad the relationship ended after years of effort, but it really was for the best, and I don't think anyone could argue with me on that. The only heartbreak I experienced was seeing someone deteriorate so badly and not being able to do anything to stop it.
