I wasn't sure where else to post this since none of you know me, but some of you may remember Kamiya-chan. And this post concerns us both. The thing is, we're one and the same. I know it's crappy to reveal this since she last posted in 2012, but I want to get this off my chest and explain as well as apologize for the deceit.
Back in 2007, I was having a rough time. And I had the false thought that as a 17-year old, I shouldn't talk about my problems on the forum I was a member of at that point. Another thing I was "going through" was that I wanted a sister, so I created one. I used this "sister" to vent about my real life without letting others know that I was really a 17-year old male. Looking back, this was one of the worst ideas I ever had, and every day I wish that I could turn back time and stop myself from doing it. But I cannot, and I regret it.
I started to feel that my "sister", who will I will refer to as Haley from now on to make it simpler, was a part of me; a facet of my personality, if you will. So, after joining another forum, I decided to "introduce" Haley to that community, and we both posted on that forum. Before I knew it, everyone I met online would be "meet" her. I don't know why I kept doing this, maybe I thought that by "getting rid" of Haley, I'd be destroying a part of myself, or maybe I just got used to having two voices in a community. I don't really know, but I wish I did.
Bit by bit, I used Haley's accounts less and less and st the same time, my own less and less. But every time I returned to that forum, it was as her. Maybe I thought I was better liked as her, but eventually there were huge gaps in our activity. Eventually, I just started joining places as me and me alone, and began to realize I was just hiding behind something I created.
Now, when I log into these couple of places as her, I think it's because I wish I had that time back and do things in my life differently. But I know I shouldn't do that anymore, and let people see the real me, instead of a fake.
Anyway, I realize that after saying this, I can never return here as her or me. I screwed up, and I accept that. I'm truly sorry about this, and wish I didn't waste your time with all of the posts from that account. But I feel that I should at least get this out there, so nobody has to waste their thoughts wondering what happened to "Kamiya".
Take care, PC. I wish things had been different, and I hadn't done all this.