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Confessing Love

She

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    If example you confessed your love to a person and he/she say ," Let's be friend first?". What does this mean in your point of view?
    (P/S: You guys are already friend but not quite long)
     
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  • To me it means they don't want to rush into a relationship, which is a smart choice. If you get to know the person, you'll be able to see if they're really a good match for you.
     

    She

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    I personally don't mind it and I'd still be friends.

    Will you confess to her/him again after a long moment?

    To me it means they don't want to rush into a relationship, which is a smart choice. If you get to know the person, you'll be able to see if they're really a good match for you.

    I agree with that, we have to build trust for each other first to convince your partner. That's one of the secret to a long lasting relationship.
     
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    Evyl

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  • Is there really a difference, while you're getting to know someone? It's going to be pretty clear if they are just a friend or a significant other.

    Playing into the long game, it'll suck to be in love with a good friend who doesn't feel the same way.
     

    She

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    Is there really a difference, while you're getting to know someone? It's going to be pretty clear if they are just a friend or a significant other.

    Playing into the long game, it'll suck to be in love with a good friend who doesn't feel the same way.

    Well I'm not really expert in this kind of things but I'm sure every choices you make will have risk and that's why we must be fully prepared. But once you confess to your good friend, it'll never be the same as before either in a good path or bad path.
     

    string555

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  • I'm confused about something here. How could you grow love for someone if you weren't already friends with them to begin with? Unless you mean one of those 'love at first sight' things, in which case I would argue that it would only be physical love, IMO. Again, in my opinion, I would say that love is never just physical or emotional/mental, it's the whole shebang.
     

    Alakazam17

    [b]Long time no see![/b]
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  • This happened to me once(ie. someone confessing to me), and I said I'd think about it. I honestly did do that but I soon said I wasn't interested. We stayed friends after that, and it never became a problem.

    It'd never happen the other way around because I'm way too shy, but if it did I'd hope it would work out the same way as above if they weren't interested.
     

    She

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    I'm confused about something here. How could you grow love for someone if you weren't already friends with them to begin with? Unless you mean one of those 'love at first sight' things, in which case I would argue that it would only be physical love, IMO. Again, in my opinion, I would say that love is never just physical or emotional/mental, it's the whole shebang.

    What I mean is you already friend with the person but not quite long yet and you confess to him/her.
     

    string555

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  • What I mean is you already friend with the person but not quite long yet and you confess to him/her.

    Then in that case what they say means that they might consider it, or it might mean that they already decided they don't want that, but they didn't want to flat out reject you. The longer you know the person, the easier it should be to tell what they really mean.

    Either way, it seems like a roll of the dice. You either end up in a relationship with them, or you stay friends, or at worse, you end up losing them as a friend because things just get really awkward after that.
     

    Desert Stream~

    Holy Kipper!
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    There's only a few circumstances where I would confess my love to someone right away, and they all involve video game or anime characters :P So I personally would wait a bit and if they say no, ask again. After being rejected twice you might as well give up, they're probably not into you.
     

    Purist of Black Water

    [b]The way we were...[/b]
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  • I'd try to be friends for a few months, than pop the whole relationship question later.
    Nothing ruins a friendship, then going into a relationship too soon.
    Nothing ruins a relationship like not being friends for a while first.

    I've never been in a proper relationship.
    But I just know from what I was in.
     
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    I've faced this exact situation this years, there was this girl I really really like . . . I've brought her some flowers secretly for her birthday, then I gathered some bravery and I decided to tell her my feelings.
    She said she appreciated the attentions, but wasn't in the mood for something important, then she proposed me to remain good friends, I said "perhaps"

    I think that the best thing to do is to mantain a cordail relationship, but not "as a friend" it would be painful IMO.
     
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    It means you need to persevere and develop a relationship that can eventually become love; because you've not done enough to reach that point yet.
     
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    It means you need to persevere and develop a relationship that can eventually become love; because you've not done enough to reach that point yet.

    I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
    (still like her tough)
     
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    Her

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    I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
    (still like her tough)

    Which is a very mature response to such things. Holding out hope is perfectly fine, but it's a sign of emotional intelligence to accept their feelings and not let your own infatuation be the only feelings you recognise.
     
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    I don't think that persevere is the right "tattic", I mean . . . I don't want to be invadent, I already asked her out, she gently refused . . . I've dealt with it.
    (still like her tough)
    You're right. op's explanation definitely points towards this being the best approach.

    Persevere if if there's plenty of evidence to make you think that it's worth your while. Don't do it when you're too busy obsessing over your affection.
     
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