Thread: The Beta Place
View Single Post
Old November 27th, 2009 (7:04 AM).
Giratina ♀'s Avatar
Giratina ♀ Giratina ♀ is offline
what's your sign?
    Join Date: Apr 2008
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Quirky
    Posts: 1,439
    Well hello again, Beta Thread! I missed you so much, yes I did, yes I did~

    Title of Story: Delta Species
    Fandom: Pokémon
    Plot summary: When one young victim of 'Because Destiny Said So' is pulled away from his Pokémonless region and forced into the shoes of savior of the Pokémon kingdom (along with a very varied cast of traveling companions), he discovers that maybe the rest of the world - or at least the region of Holon - isn't all to be feared after all...
    Genre: Trainer Journey
    Rating (PG, R, etc): PG, if only for one character who flings asterisks around like shuriken stars.
    Type of mentor needed: I would like a Plot beta reader to make sure that my story's plotline (which, admittedly, has a lot of it laid out due to the nature of the plot) doesn't start getting too bland.
    Writing sample of story:

    A young boy sat slumped in his seat, watching the rain continue its attempt to be as loud as it could while crashing against the window. Limp brown hair flopped against the glass, letting gravity take over entirely. His face was set in a thoughtful frown, and though dull blue eyes watched water pound upon glass he never really paid it any mind. He had average height and build, though it was difficult to tell from his current scrunched-up position. Overall, the sort of boy you expect to be cautious and unwilling to try new things. Of course, he was actually something like that, but his thoughts were upon clearly more important things.

    Like Pokéballs, for instance.

    ‘Come on, Casey,’ the boy silently scolded himself, ‘quit thinking about that! It’s over! It’s going to get found and I never even touched that thing and nobody can possibly link its appearance to me!’

    Casey, you see, was a kid with a dilemma. That morning, while waiting for this very bus to arrive to drive him to school, he had found an extremely disturbing object sitting underneath some nearby shrubbery. It was an object about the size of a softball, colored red and white with a black stripe running around the center. Commonly known as a ‘Pokéball’ or ‘Poké Ball’, it was a manmade object designed for the capture and control of animals known as Pokémon.

    Both Pokémon and the objects that tame them were fully and entirely illegal in the fine land of Calda.

    Other: The first story I posted that I care to remember was posted on the 'net on September 8, 2008 (it was Metal Coat).
    Reply With Quote