something i've noticed about myself and others is that, in the moment we're called to make a decision, we don't always think we're in the wrong. actions usually aren't revealed to the decision-maker to have been the more destructive choice until the situation is played out. that said, we learn from our mistakes, and no one should ever feel super low for making mistakes. dwelling over your faux pas is as useless and detrimental as holding a grudge against another, no one learns from being pitiful and no one has clean hands.
someone i care about very much is very self-loathing and guilt-ridden (he's catholic, go figure), he digs himself deeper and deeper into a hole of responsibilities because his misery makes him too exhausted to face them. i have to constantly remind him that he's not dismissing his faults by only trying to understand himself and his circumstances. that way, he's not a person who is bad, but a person who is growing. i guess that's my advice for anyone who is in a similar state of perpetual self-condemnation.