Tell Me a Story...

PastelPhoenix said:

Oh man, being new to the RPT I don't have many stories from here, but I do have a few Tabletop RPG stories, mostly involving my players since I'm pretty much forced to be Perma-DM. Some of them involve mechanics more than actual role-play, but there is an RP related one that comes to mind of just how raw luck saved the players. Hopefully this isn't horribly off topic.

I present: The Worst Heist (I've Ever Seen)

Spoiler:

So it's D&D 4e, and I'm playing in a custom world based heavily off of the Eberron setting (if you don't want to look it up, think very slight steampunk, mixed with a lot of magic, and a lot of economic intrigue). The basis of the plot was that the merchant house the held a monopoly on weapon trading was suspecting another house of violating trade agreements and selling arms to local rebellious groups in order to topple the other houses and create an armed revolution. Now, my players aren't part of any house, but they were hired to do some snooping off the records to try and find confirmations of the rumors.

The job was simple enough, the documents they need would be stored in a local building that served as the headquarters and center point of the house's operations in the area. They had the name of the town the supposed warehouse was stored, and the files in the building would either confirm or deny the weapon trades. To set the scene, the building was only a few offices large, but has some heavy duty locks on all of the doors, and a small skylight on the roof leading to the center hallway.

So the party consists of the classics, Fighter, Cleric, Druid, and Sorcerer (I forget their races, but I think they were mostly humans or human-hybrids). Now, the druid is basically the center star of the story, since he was essentially the one who both made the heist possible, and the one who nearly ruined it. The druid had an obsession with his grappling hook. It was the first thing he bought when making his character, and he was going to make it useful. They left at night after all the workers went home for the day. The party all agreed that the best way to start it off would be to use the grappling hook to climb onto the roof and go in through there.

Druid finally has a change to prove himself with the grappling hook, and he fails miserably. His roll for actually getting on the roof is a critical fail and he end up letting go too early and throwing the hook through the front window.

Not a problem, after making sure no one heard the window break outside, they now technically had an entrance into the building, subduing the guard posted there. First stage complete, they were in. They had entered into the front room, with a few benches and an area for the secretary to sit. Next challenge, the door to the back hallway was locked.

No problem, the druid had a wooden knife that was enchanted to allow it to cut any wood like it was paper. The party is now kicking themselves because they could have just used that to cut down the front door without alerting the guard. The druid cuts down the wooden parts of the door enough for everyone to crawl through, then decided he wants to leave a call sign like any good thief. The only thing he can think of is his initials, so he carves that into not just one bench, but all the benches.

Step two complete, they're in the back room. Now, all of the files are stored alphabetized in several cabinets by topic. City names are under their first letter, so they just need to check there. Problem is, none of them actually remember what the name of the town they need to investigate is. None of them thought to write it down. Wanting to bang my head against the table, I grant them mercy and if they can pass a simple knowledge roll they can have their character remember even if they don't.

They all fail. All four of them. Even the Sorcerer. Not wanting everything to come to a grinding halt, I gave them the first letter of the town, hoping to jump start their memory.

Nope, still can't remember. Easy enough, they just decide to steal the entire cabinet for that letter. Stage 3 complete, now it's time to leave. For some reason, they want to leave in style. So they decide it would be coolest to climb out the skylight. With a large cabinet full of documents. I don't question them and decide to just get this over with. Druid has his grappling hook, and I ask him where he's standing when he throws it.

"Under the window."

I ask him to confirm, even drawing the skylight and asking him to move his figure to where he stands. He puts it right under the window. Whatever, just roll. For the first time, he actually make a good grappling hook roll.

And the glass from the now broken window falls right on top of him. He takes some damage, but is otherwise fine. They climb the rope, tying it to the cabinet so they can lift it up, and are about to head out when someone (I believe the Sorcerer) points out they left too much evidence. The entire cabinet missing might clue them in on what they were looking for, and the druid's initials are left on every bench in the front lobby.

The only solution is to set the entire building on fire, and then run away really quickly. They spread lantern oil into every room and onto the remaining cabinets to mask their presence, and then ignited it from outside. The resulting fire managed to cover their escape and they considered it a job well done. Unfortunately, this campaign only lasted another session before we had to end it early, so they never had anyone trace the arson back to them.

I do have other stories, some I recall better than this one. But this is the one I'll share since it is both SFW and more fitting with actual roleplaying rather than any kind of game mechanics.

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gimmepie said:

the fact that the consciousness of a zombie in Outbreak turned out to still be present, trapped in a body that was compelled to tear their friends and family apart (as seen through Klippy's character Mark)

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Emakrul said:

The first time I ever played an rp was D&D. My friends had all played a bunch together before and I had no idea that the game was taken so seriously. (Just normal, not a joke serious.). So we make it through our first cave and get to town where this little boy is begging for money. He comes up to me, and puts out his hands and I say to our DM "can I cut off his hands?"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"Then I cut off his hands."

They never invited me to a other D&D after that.

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