Serious Unfathomable

Zeostar · May 5, 2021

Have you had any situations in life that you find can't be explained, unfathomable?

First time sharing this on here (I was just talking about it with family). I had the most charismatic, coolest history teacher on the planet in 7th grade. Everybody loved him, his class was completely joyful. He made us smile, laugh, showed me what would become some of my favorite bands. He went missing late in the year.

That summer, he was on the news headlines, arrested for being a predator and a pedophile. To this day I've never understood how we were deceived for almost that entire school year. It definitely left a permanent scar with trust. I think about some of our interactions and how normal he was, it's why I find it unfathomable.

Tsutarja · May 5, 2021

A math professor i had wound up being a sexual predator many years later. committed acts of voyeurism on campus (per the arrest affidavit) and held child pornography

a colleague of mine got caught a little over a year ago for trafficking and imprisoning a teen from out of state in their own home

Nah · May 5, 2021

I can't say that there's anything that is like that to me. When you come to understand how shitty the world is, nothing really surprises you anymore, nothing ever makes you wonder how anyone could do such a thing anymore.

But to add onto the pile of terrible things people we knew have done: I think both of these happened after I graduated, but in the high school I went to, a math teacher (that I had) was arrested for stalking a girl, while another teacher (that I didn't have) was arrested for possession of child porn.

Zeostar · May 5, 2021

Nah said:
I can't say that there's anything that is like that to me. When you come to understand how shitty the world is, nothing really surprises you anymore, nothing ever makes you wonder how anyone could do such a thing anymore.

But to add onto the pile of terrible things people we knew have done: I think both of these happened after I graduated, but in the high school I went to, a math teacher (that I had) was arrested for stalking a girl, while another teacher (that I didn't have) was arrested for possession of child porn.

While I agree, as I've spent quite a few free hours researching various crime stories, I think it's a different prospect when something happens outside of the glass lens of the news. Maybe not to everybody, but we hear of these awful stories all the time and I think it's easy to adapt an attitude of desensitization.

In my junior year of highschool, a gunman shot two people in the hallway before he was killed by an officer. The world can be awful, but it's a much different feeling when it's no longer just another story in the news, and it's impacting or impacted you personally.

Fairy · May 5, 2021

Nah said:
I can't say that there's anything that is like that to me. When you come to understand how shitty the world is, nothing really surprises you anymore, nothing ever makes you wonder how anyone could do such a thing anymore.

This. I also had a math teacher in... middle school? 6th or 7th grade? Who was arrested for having child pornography on his work computer. Apparently he'd deliberately drop items to look at chicks panties.

But the first time I really felt my life slip during an OD was the most profound and unfathomable. It just felt so euphoric and comfy and felt as though I had a choice? I dunno, I can't explain it - it was more like choosing to sink deeper. Which obviously is the effect of the drugs but when you notice your own breathing become shallow and you stop feeling your extremities and you realize. It's scary.

Corrin · May 5, 2021

None of my teachers/professors from memory have ever been arrested or done anything bad.
My highschool art teacher would come in hungover sometimes but that was it, he was a great teacher though.
And the IT head at my first high school worked as a stripper to fund his education. All the students mocked him for it but he was a cool guy and never had any problems, I find it awful he had to do that at all.

However, Canada's most deadly shooting spree took place in my province, a small province of under 1 million people & ending near where my dad lives. It was a shock to us and the whole country.

Aslan · May 5, 2021

I've also had a teacher who turned out to be a pedophile after he left the school, he was a substitute teacher but I had him for a few lessons before. It is always unfathomable to me how people will try to justify the behaviour of the offender. Luckily, he was locked up in the end.

Other incidents... one I have never found the explanation for but remember is standing up and my vision suddenly turned yellow and pixelated. I started feeling extremely dizzy and could barely see through all the static. I remember dropping the glass I was holding at the time and it shattering but not registering it. I thought I was going to die then and there but for some reason, I also felt very peaceful and calm that was the case? Like I had just resigned myself to death. I think in the moment it was unfathomable because it was so sudden that I had no time to react. The same happened when I had my first panic attack. I remember the first time hyperventilating/getting cold/shaking uncontrollably and finding it so hard to breathe. I remember thinking that I was going to die yet at the same time finding it unfathomable because this couldn't happen to me, I couldn't be dying. Which I know is absolutely not the case, no one is immortal but it was confronting.

I found out today my uncle is on life support in the hospital and most likely will not make it. I recognise how lucky I am to have never experienced a death in my family beyond my grandparents when I was too young to remember but its still unfathomable to me when someone dies that I will never be able to interact with them again. I recognise I am most likely just in denial right now in finding that unfathomable but it's just heartbreaking. Typing this makes it feel much more real and I honestly don't know how to process it. My cousin is my age and their parents are younger than mine. I can't imagine how they must be feeling right now and all I can do is give my best effort to know they're supported and that I'll be there for them.

Zeostar · May 5, 2021

Aslan said:
I've also had a teacher who turned out to be a pedophile after he left the school, he was a substitute teacher but I had him for a few lessons before. It is always unfathomable to me how people will try to justify the behaviour of the offender. Luckily, he was locked up in the end.

Other incidents... one I have never found the explanation for but remember is standing up and my vision suddenly turned yellow and pixelated. I started feeling extremely dizzy and could barely see through all the static. I remember dropping the glass I was holding at the time and it shattering but not registering it. I thought I was going to die then and there but for some reason, I also felt very peaceful and calm that was the case? Like I had just resigned myself to death. I think in the moment it was unfathomable because it was so sudden that I had no time to react. The same happened when I had my first panic attack. I remember the first time hyperventilating/getting cold/shaking uncontrollably and finding it so hard to breathe. I remember thinking that I was going to die yet at the same time finding it unfathomable because this couldn't happen to me, I couldn't be dying. Which I know is absolutely not the case, no one is immortal but it was confronting.

I found out today my uncle is on life support in the hospital and most likely will not make it. I recognise how lucky I am to have never experienced a death in my family beyond my grandparents when I was too young to remember but its still unfathomable to me when someone dies that I will never be able to interact with them again. I recognise I am most likely just in denial right now in finding that unfathomable but it's just heartbreaking. Typing this makes it feel much more real and I honestly don't know how to process it. My cousin is my age and their parents are younger than mine. I can't imagine how they must be feeling right now and all I can do is give my best effort to know they're supported and that I'll be there for them.

I resonated with this. Back in early 2019 I was in an ambulance, it was a severe panic attack but it had pushed my heart and blood pressure to a dangerous rate so I had to be monitored. I would continuously drift off and see blackness. I didn't know it was a panic attack, I felt like my heart was failing. It was strange because in the moment I had completely accepted what might happen. I thought I would die, but I was okay with it. I was more upset because I wanted to call certain family members, but they wanted me to be completely still.