2020 Positives

Zeostar

Zeostar

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    2020 kind of sucks, but there's always room for positives

    So...which positive things have happened to you this year?

    It doesn't have to be big...like you might have found a video game you enjoyed, or a song. Those are positive. Or of course it could be something major. (If you want to share)

    For me it's a more of a serious one, but I was at my darkest place last year. In and out of the ER because of a frustrating anxiety disorder, unable to function because I would have 2-3 panic attacks per day, then more at night. It's no way to live, quite honestly it was making me tired of living. Treatments weren't working and the severity just grew.

    Then I was put on a certain anti depressant, and by some miracle the anxiety stopped. The panic attacks stopped, almost all the anxiety symptoms came to an end. I've been 4 months free.

    So for me that was a giant positive of this year. Thinking I could be free from that anxiety was only a pipe dream, but it actually happened.
     
    A lot has happened this year - started exercising properly and have maintained it for the past few months, started being OK with not working all the time and getting more involved in other hobbies (finally reading again!), got involved with university life and started doing extracurriculars I care about, got a part-time job, became comfortable with my sexuality... a lot of the time it can feel like I still have so much to change about myself but I have to look back and see how much I've grown in a few months.

    Then there's the small positives like discovering a lot of my favourite new music artists. And then also events that could be interpreted negatively such as having 3 surgeries scheduled this year and starting a bunch of medication but I see it as an opportunity to get better so it's a positive for me :) Same with the feeling of not seeing friends too often, I am just grateful that we still keep in contact and hang out despite everything!
     
    This is kind of just as sad as it is positive, but my grandmother isn't in pain anymore.
     
    Working from home! Even if it isn't permanent - and I really hope it is - working from home has turned out to be a huge blessing, after initially being a gigantic stressor. I'm saving money on travel costs, earning more because I can work longer hours, and can generally relax a lot more when I'm not in an office with others.

    Asides from my brother's phased move out being delayed, my family has been very lucky: we all work in essential services (father is a postman, mother is a teaching assistant/IT technician at a school, and I work for a private care company) and none of us have been furloughed or lost our jobs.
     
    Even though I didn't get to finish university as I would have wanted, with a proper graduation and party celebrations, I'm happy to see I graduated with a 2:1 and thoroughly enjoyed this part of my life (so much I'm going back for a masters in September haha)! So I guess that's an achievement to be proud of!
     
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