Adressing my family with Religious Questions

[Miss Wendighost]

Howdy there! As some people perusing the Confess Something may have known, I have been Agnostic for a while now. I have no issue with anyone on this site that belongs to a religion based on said religion, since we are all strangers from various parts of the world who don't know each other's circumstances. Back on topic, I've had these questions for a while now, but I don't know how to address my family about it. My parents are a bit more relaxed, but some other relatives might not be the same. How can I address my questions without riling them up about it?

 

[Fleurdelis]

Best way to approach such a thing IMO would be to just be calm about it when trying to ask said questions. I don't know how quickly your relatives would get riled up about what kind of questions, etc.
But all in all that would be the best way, if not a bit generic of an advice, to approach such things.

 

[moon]

Howdy there! As some people perusing the Confess Something may have known, I have been Agnostic for a while now. I have no issue with anyone on this site that belongs to a religion based on said religion, since we are all strangers from various parts of the world who don't know each other's circumstances. Back on topic, I've had these questions for a while now, but I don't know how to address my family about it. My parents are a bit more relaxed, but some other relatives might not be the same. How can I address my questions without riling them up about it?

What kind of questions do you have? And what is your family's standpoint? Are they very religious and you're worried they would think it weird that you are doubting their faith, or is it the opposite, that they are mostly atheistic but you are feeling like you can't fully subscribe to that view?

 

[Miss Wendighost]

What kind of questions do you have? And what is your family's standpoint? Are they very religious and you're worried they would think it weird that you are doubting their faith, or is it the opposite, that they are mostly atheistic but you are feeling like you can't fully subscribe to that view?

I just want to tell my parents that I have honest questions about a God and the faith I grew up in in general. To answer your other question, my parents are more laid back in regards in religion (not exactly atheist/agnostic, just a less restrictive type), but I don't want them to think that I'm weird or that I had disappointed them in some way, since I had been part of a faith-based dance school from around preschool to last summer, which is about where I had started to question things.

 

[gimmepie]

I think, since you say your parents are pretty chill, polite honest might be the best policy here. Just aim for an open discussion. Small steps, start with them before worrying about your family at large.

 

[EnglishALT]

I would also suggest small steps, do not go all in at once and remember to take it slow and easy, things like this can be hard as some people believe they are fighting for your soul and future in heaven. Possibly frame the issue on you having concerns and just want to take a journey of self discovery, don't frame it as if your decision has already been made, just that you need time to find yourself spiritually.

 

[Whim]

Hello, GhostHunter! So, I can say I was too in your feet (at least at first) and I'll say how it worked with me so you can see if it fits or not your situation.

First things first, I also am from a very christian home and family. From the first day of my life until 3 years ago, I spent every single sunday (or more) with my parents in the church. I was even really known there, used to sing in the ceremonies, write texts about the bible to be applied for reading in the week-report we had, studied teology and even went on missionary trips to many small towns around my country with the people I met there. That was pretty bad for me, not for who I am now, but mostly for the expectations I gave them. Now, I'm both agnostic and openly gay. When my parents discovered I am agnostic, my father started completely avoiding me and, when we happened to be in the same table during lunch, started always having a hard listening to me, because it was like I was always going to say something he would disagree. Same happened with mom, but with less extent. They both then, 2 or 3 weeks later, started being worried about my salvation, that I was going to hell, the price was too high to be endearing my racionality and that kind of stuff. That I should have more faith. 3 or more months later (i don't remember that well) they also started sharing bible versicles to my phone and putting the bible to hear in the car. And it has been working this way all this time.

You see, they haven't changed what they think. Neither that things on their religion will be different because their reality has changed. They kept their own beliefs. However, as time passed, they started seeing it with less "drama" - something they would overreact too much is something to be less indulging and more prospective: to understand that it is something they can't force you to change. It won't be good at first glance, but it gets better with time. I hope that helps you somehow!

 

[Ninetales]

While I currently identify as a Christian, I think I may be able to offer some advice. My mother is a devout Evangelical, whereas I do not subscribe to any particular Christian denomination and thus we have conflicting views (and at one point and time I considered myself an Atheist). For instance, my mom believes that those who do not practice Christianity will parish in hell and I dismiss the mere notion of hell altogether. Our different views have led to minor spats and when I initially expressed my rather unorthodox views these spats would occur reasonably often. However, when I took the chance to thoroughly explain my religious views, my mother became much more understanding. Therefore, I encourage you to share your views with your parents! If you bluntly state "I'm Agnostic" they may have questions or may make false assumptions without proper insight on what it means to be Agnostic. If your parents are generally more relaxed then all should go well!

I wish you the best of luck, hun!