What would attract you the most in girls? Or boys?
Ohohohoho that's a good one. How do I approach this? Hmm...
Often on the internets (and irl) attractiveness is conceptualized as a duality of looks and personality. As in oooh i love a person for their personality <3 <3 how respectable i am (because nobody EVER says oooh i love the way they look). Anyways I find that to be social posturing and pretty useless.
I'm a big picture kind of guy. I 'judge' a girl as a whole and that would 'decide' whether she's attractive or not. There's no objectivity in that at all and it boils down to whether she 'feels' right or not which is the most subjective thing ever.
But think about it. Can we really break a person down and atomize their features? If I think a girl has a really nice ass and I copied and pasted her ass onto another girl, would I think of it the same way? What about facial features? Pascal remarks that "Cleopatra's nose, had it been shorter, the whole face of the world would have been changed". What does that mean? Did Caesar have a nose fetish? No.. it's that her nose fit really well in the context of her face. Maybe if Cleo had a slightly shorter nose it wouldn't look so good on her, but I'm sure it'd be rated a 10 or something on somebody else.
People just perceive things holistically. An attractive face is more than the sum of the attractiveness of eyes, hair, nose, mouth, ears, cheeks, dimples, chin, etc. An attractive body is more than the sum of tits, ass, legs, curves, feet (iunno), shoulders and so on. A personality is more than the sum of their virtues subtract the sum of their vices. And if we take it to be the case that there is a duality of looks and personality, perceiving the whole would be even more complex. Add to that things like fashion and body language - could we even divide those to either category? And regardless to what people will tell you, they
are important (at least to me :P).
So it looks like I'm well on my way of avoiding the question of what attracts me in other people. But to actually answer the question, yeah there are things that turn me on more than others. I will use the conceptualization of beauty as looks + personality because that is really easy to work with (although highly simplifying).
I don't, however, have much to say in the department of looks. I don't think there is a single standard of beauty and I think that people who have one or think that that's how beauty works are narrow-minded and haven't really experienced much of the world. At the very general level of body shape, I wouldn't be attracted by someone who's morbidly obese (ie round) or malnourished. So there's a very large range of body shapes I'd find attractive. And it's not as if my conception of attractiveness to shape is distributed on a normal curve, much rather I'd think of it as being pretty level throughout this large range of body shapes. I think proportions - how well someone looks as a whole - is more important than how close they are to a certain body shape.
But there is a caveat to that, and that is I don't really like celebrity figures. We all know what that looks like, it's that girl who's rated a 9.5 or 10. I know why she's rated a 10, but I wouldn't find her very attractive. I think people who look like that are plastic, manufactured, and unoriginal. I can appreciate it for what it is and of course it is sexually arousing, but I wouldn't like it more than someone who looks more unique. I'd probably want to tap that all night though.
Personality-wise I see it more so as an issue of compatibility versus an issue of having lots/little. One thing that I've noticed is that I desire, in abstract terms, compatibility of intelligence. I want 'us' to be on the same level, intellectually speaking. So that means that we're interested (and interested in discussing) in broadly similar spheres (which happens to be pretty damn broad), at the same level. On an observational level what that probably means is that we have a good "rhythm" going on in our interactions - there's give and take, we enjoy how the conversation's going and it's comfortable. I'm not sure if I've experienced enough of life and love to elaborate on other things I find attractive (if I even have other criteria). Well okay, there are other things I notice, I guess. I like quieter girls, ones who don't talk as much and argue as much. OH NOES DAS MAIL CHAUVINIS- yeah but I find loud girls shrill and I'm not really much of a person to speak above others, so we wouldn't have a good rhythm going on. So quiet girls are a thing. Seemingly contradictory, I like girls who aren't afraid to make moves on me. I'm really risk-adverse when it comes to any kind of interpersonal relationship, let alone romantic ones, so I really appreciate it when she understands and respects that. If you add two and two together with a sprinkle of imagination you might get a shy girl who's actually a tiger in bed and that's a winning combination ^^ Also, I enjoy someone who is open. She's a person who puts you before the aspects of you, and that's a perspective I identify with and appreciate.
It's also nice when she plays Starcraft and reddits and games and stuff. Cuz then you have lots of stuff to talk about that's outside of school, so it's actually really refreshing to be around them.
Adding to that ^ - would you rather date a really really sweet girl whose external appearances can be considered average at best or some really, really hot girl who throws tantrums from time to time (enough space that youd forget about the last one :p)? Also, have you watched psycho pass yet? And why the current username?
Right now I'm getting to know someone who's really really sweet but whose external appearances, unfortunately for this scenario, are above average XP (to me though to me~ so you can be a mean judge and have this scenario still work) so my answer is pretty clear. I don't have time nor emotional capacity nor effort for tantrums lol. I don't want to deal with that ♥♥♥♥ XD
And yes I finished psycho-pass in two days xP Loved it.
Kanzler comes from my tag on server which comes from my MapleStory character which comes from 'Kanzler' the German word for chancellor. I've always thought the word was pretty consonant, has a pretty good ring to it, yunno it's all good. The meaning's pretty badass too.
JOHN I GOT QUESTIONS FOR YOU.
What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
On a more serious note, what do you look for in a friend, online or irl?
Red bean, I think. I've been picking that one the most recently.
For friends? I think I can best express it as loyalty. By that I mean the capacity to give a ♥♥♥♥ about me on a personal level, and it goes both ways. I don't expect people to have my back all the time, my problems are my own, but it's nice to have people to whom you can be like "i feel like ♥♥♥♥ let's kill some time". I think it just goes back into engagement. If we can feel engaged while interacting with each other, then good vibes will come from that and yunno there's everything to appreciate. I don't think of it in greater detail than that.
