Dads

[VisionofMilotic]

In my country Father's Day is coming up in the US. It's a day that's about what it says, fathers. Many countries have this holiday or something similar to it, though the date it's held on, name of it and customs may differ depending on where you are.

Here it's always the third Sunday of June, so the 19th of this month. If you have a good relationship with your father, and he's still around, it's often a tradition to spend time time together, and do things like maybe cook a special breakfast for their him, or make him a card, even give a small gift of maybe go on a family outing together. When a father is no longer alive often we still think of him on this day, and might find ways of celebrating the day in our own ways like looking at family photos. My grandpa passed away many years ago, but my aunt always goes to leave flowers on his grave on Father's Day, same with my her late mother on Mother's day.

My dad is recovering from covid, so he and I might not be able to physically be in contact this year, but I will definitely give him a call, and if he's feeling good I know he will talk up a storm! I am shopping for something fun to deliver to him too. I was thinking of maybe some plants or greenery to let some new life into his space. One of his favorite sports is golf, and I saw some amusing golf-themed pieces of memorabilia that I might get instead. I spy a shot glass with his favorite brand of ball embedded in it, so that might get a smile out of him. I have thought of books and movies, but I have a knack for getting titles that he already owns by mistake, so I'm trying to think more outside of the box. He's a tricky one to buy presents for, he doesn't give me leads on what to get, so I have some guesswork cut out for me.

Father's day also does not have to represent your biological father, other male family members who take on a paternal role, or godparents, as well role models and mentors in the community like teachers can be celebrated as a father-like figures. Sometimes we also congratulate new fathers on this day like friends or siblings who are raising or expecting a child. So it's a holiday that you can totally make your own.

What is your experience with your father/fatherly figure? Did you/will you commemorate father's day this year, if this holiday is recognized in your region?

 

[Zeostar]

I lost my dad after his blood clot caused a heart attack. February 21st, 2004. Old enough that I had already formed a few memories of him. I distinctly remember watching him leave for work every morning. Other memories include him making me laugh through dancing, and playing in a bouncy castle he put together for me. Unfortunately I remember the day 'it' happened. As a child my brain registered the scene as "Strange men taking my sleeping dad away". Was never told directly what happened. Pieced it together myself as he didn't come back and the years went on.

We make the visit to his final resting place every year. We find various trinkets to place down that he would have enjoyed.

My mother is a better speaker than I am. To quote her:

Spoiler:

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone, for part of us went with you, the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide; and though we cannot see you, you are always at our side. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same; but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Love you dad.

 

[Fairy]

I could literally write about my dad forever. He is probably the most reasonable, understanding, ethical, and strongest man of moral fiber I know. I'm gonna get a little heavy here so I'll throw a spoiler in:

Spoiler:

He wasn't always. My father was a fierce alcoholic and an angry, volatile man with a lot of unresolved issues. Growing up, he taught me some very important skills, like how to tell someone's mood from how they open a door, how to pacify and deescalate a situation by assigning the blame to myself, the exact number of footsteps it took to get from the main room to the only room with a door that still locked, how to lie, and how to patch a hole in drywall. He prioritized drugs and alcohol over his home, job, wife, and child, and eventually ended up losing all of them because of it. I was so relieved the day I was told they were getting divorced. He was constantly blackout drunk, and if he wasn't than the DT's would make him ruthless, incoherent, and paranoid. I remember him spending many nights in the hospital because of how badly he abused his body. As a child my father was a constant source of verbal, mental, and emotional abuse for me, and was unapologetically so. I wasn't a daughter to him and neither was he a father to me. We lived in a bubble of hating one another and our environments for 13 long years.

After the divorce he got a new place to live, settled in, got a new job, and made one very critical decision -- to get sober. And he has been ever since. Now as an adult myself, we can look back on those terrible moments and reflect. He was so open and honest with me about his guilt and about how much harm he'd caused me. He dedicated his life to making things right and to being the father he never got the chance to be. He proved to me that people are worth redemption and can be people of integrity, loyalty, and trust. And I likewise was inspired to get sober and follow in his footsteps! My dad worked endlessly during the transitional years of the divorce to earn my respect back. Weekend after weekend after weekend, he showed me what being a father really means. And yeah, sometimes that was discipline, but it was also sometimes Pokémon cards and sushi! Mostly though, it was compassion and laughter.

Rebuilding the relationship with my dad was easy after that. He's been there in my life as exactly what I needed him to be ever since he put the bottle down. He learned so much patience, so much tranquility, and together we learned that we actually have a lot in common! We have laughed and enjoyed so many moments, and we've apologized and mourned over the mistakes of the past. We've forgiven each other, we've healed together, and now he's watching me grow into the person that he's always wanted me to be: whole, happy, logical, creative, hard working, and honorable. He is the strongest thread in my support network and reminds me everyday to be my best self. I even got a tattoo of a letter he wrote me..

Spoiler:

Which he not only signed, but also felt the need to say, "You know, Dad" -- as if I'd somehow forget that I got a freaking tattoo and it's of his words, lmao. To me that's just so perfect and so emblematic of our relationship now. There's sincerity and unconditional love between us, and an earnest humor that never lets me down! Despite the traumas we've faced since reconnecting as father and daughter, he remains my greatest advocate and steadfast in having my best interest at heart. Saying my dad is my best friend would be doing him a disservice, because he is so much more than just a shoulder to lean on, or a role model to look up to, or even a life guide. He's my guardian angel. A goofball who chronically stresses himself out because he thinks his dog is making too many left turns, but yeah, definitely my guardian angel too. :')

He's also like, the classic sitcom dad. Never lets anyone else drive, has the world's most convenient selective hearing, always knows when someone touches the thermostat, is a handyman with an affinity for roofing and siding, unironically says "Hi Hungry, I'm dad", cares way too much about what his housing association does, and loves collecting old memorabilia. Haha, such a dork. :P

 

[Corrin]

I celebrated it with my step father the most. Now that he's dead, I send a nice message to my bio dad.

 

[Roxas]

My bio dad's not perfect but he did at the very least support my interests as a kid + currently. I'll be visiting him and having a grill time with him I guess

 

[Sheep]

My dad has unfortunately not been the best father figure to neither me nor my brother. He tries to be better now and has made improvements, but the damage to my brother has already been done and he is no longer willing to talk to him (has been this way for the past few years, and he's now 16). I don't like family drama and understand my dad's tried to get better even if he isn't perfect, so we still speak and I still wish him a happy birthday/Father's Day/etc. Life is a lot less stressful for me when I can be on good terms with both parents - otherwise I question whether I'm in the right for making those choices and worry a lot over it. Unless he does something truly awful, I'll probably continue speaking with him and treating him as if nothing has happened. I have my own stresses to worry about, and my mom has mostly moved on from what he's done.

 

[Corrin]

To those with rocky relationships with your dads, I'll be your dad. Let's go toss a foot ball son.