Formality.

Nick

    • 17,570
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen May 9, 2024
    As some may already know, I dislike this specific date. It's the day after Christmas and people are going back to their daily routines. With that comes the formality of seeing people you normally associate with and ask them how their holiday has been.

    Am I the only one who doesn't really care how most people's holidays have been? I'll ask this to my friends and relatives, because I hope it's been positive for them, but for everyone else, I just don't care. And yet, social etiquette has taught us to ask people this almost instinctively.

    Additionally, how do you feel about this and other formalities?
     
    Just as holidays are an excuse to avoid work and excessively drink with those you're close with, generic questions like op mentioned are an excuse to avoid silence and excessively speak.

    In this world, sometimes one must conform to get by, and that's okay. Formalities offer social pathways for those who struggle to conform. Standards make us comfortable. As long as no harm comes from standards, I'm fine with them.
     
    I feel the same way about "How was your day?" I think a lot of people feel this way, and we all know that just because we don't ask doesn't mean we don't care. But there are those who do enjoy conversing about such things, so I think the least we can do is indulge them and talk about it.
     
    I do not care for them at all. They are pointless and a waste of time. I prefer to be direct and get to the point. No beating around the bush about it... that's just whack.
     
    I mean I dont like this because people only expect one answer, that everything is great and wonderful and happy with sunshine and rainbows. Of course, that's not always how things are but people expect you to say they are. Its easy to just say "It was great" or "Im fine/good" then ask them how their holdays are/ how are you. Its just expected.
     
    Formality? I don't know. I didn't consider the basic 'How was your Christmas?' and such as a formality. I absolutely don't care, honestly.
     
    Eh, although it's a formality, and a question I'm asked thousands of times over by tons of people -- I get into a lot of good dicussions with others about both our holidays. I'm not much of a social butterfly, so topics like these really boost me conversational-wise.
     
    I enjoy hearing how others spent their holiday and I enjoy telling others of how mine was, even if the feeling is not mutual. Then again, how is asking someone how their holidays were a formality or customary at all? If you ask, you must have some sort of interest, else it wouldn't have crossed your mind.
     
    Formalities are really draining for me. I can follow them for a while and put on a good face for it, but after a while I need to decompress and not worry about stuff like that.

    The one that gets me is when people say "thank you" to me I'm of course supposed to say "you're welcome" even if I didn't really do much of anything, so I've taken to saying "sure" or "sure thing" instead, which still acknowledges the person without feeling so awkward for me. I also try to say my thanks in passing, like saying it and then turning around to go back to what I was doing. I just don't like getting caught up in that kind of stuff.
     
    I honestly don't really care how other people spent their holidays, unless they're good friends tho. Then I'll ask them how was their christmas and all, I'll even greet them merry Christmas myself.
     
    And yet, social etiquette has taught us to ask people this almost instinctively.
    Click to expand...

    Says who? I've always thought that if you want to ask that, you should, and if not, then don't bother. I usually just say "I hope you've had a great holiday" because I generally do want that for them. Or I ask because I want to ask. For me it has nothing to do with formality.
     
    Oh God no, I don't give a crap in the slightest. I worked the day after Christmas and every second customer asked me how my Christmas was, to which the answer was some variation of "Yeah good! It was pretty quiet, which is good. You need a quiet day after working here on Christmas Eve."

    Then I'd have to ask them how theirs was and they'd invariably say that their Christmas was quiet too. Then we'd both agree that that's a good thing and they'd take their alcohol and leave.

    Not once did I initiate the conversation... I don't care, and I'm not great at pretending that I do.
     
    You must log in or register to reply here.
    Back
    Top