Help & Advice Thread

[Silais]

Oh wow. My bad >.>

Still, a few points stand:

. Be confident

. Be nice

. Try to be fit! Not muscular but in shape

. Wear fashionable clothes

. Practice on being seductive. Practice flirting. I know alot of girls who aren't very pretty and still date ALOT.

Confidence is key, believe in yourself, be you

Hmm. Well I do have a boyfriend, but I can't imagine it lasting too long. He's very close to getting a degree in personal training, so he'll be around hot girls all day at the gym. I can't imagine him wanting to stick around with me when he can see what he could actually have. We've been together around 5 months, but that doesn't really mean anything. He's 19, horny and very attractive (at least to me, and a few other girls who've given him the "eye" when we've been out together). I can't see myself keeping a guy for very long once he realizes that he could have someone way more attractive without even really trying. It's not really hard to find a girl prettier than me; about 95% of them are.

 

[Southueki]

Hmm. Well I do have a boyfriend, but I can't imagine it lasting too long. He's very close to getting a degree in personal training, so he'll be around hot girls all day at the gym. I can't imagine him wanting to stick around with me when he can see what he could actually have. We've been together around 5 months, but that doesn't really mean anything. He's 19, horny and very attractive (at least to me, and a few other girls who've given him the "eye" when we've been out together). I can't see myself keeping a guy for very long once he realizes that he could have someone way more attractive without even really trying. It's not really hard to find a girl prettier than me; about 95% of them are.

You have me interested on the way you look. You claim to be really really unattractive and I'm curious why.

That lack of confidence is bad tho, like I've said before I do not know you, but personality is a huge deal.
I'm 19 and go to the gym myself, yet I would never trade a girl I like for the girls there.

Sure, they're great to look at and some are really hot but if there's a connection, if there are feelings for someone else, that's all it is. Looking

 

[Silais]

You have me interested on the way you look. You claim to be really really unattractive and I'm curious why.

That lack of confidence is bad tho, like I've said before I do not know you, but personality is a huge deal.
I'm 19 and go to the gym myself, yet I would never trade a girl I like for the girls there.

Sure, they're great to look at and some are really hot but if there's a connection, if there are feelings for someone else, that's all it is. Looking

I'd prefer not to show you a picture, but just trust me. I'm dumpy and overweight (been working to lose weight for 8 years, look at how useful that's been) even though I dress up almost every day, wear makeup, and take good care of myself. There's only so much I can do to cover the ugly.

I didn't really think personality meant that much. Most guys don't really care for it in the presence of attractiveness. At least, that's what I've seen and experienced, and is the reason only two guys have ever expressed interest in me. I don't think any guy on my college campus has ever given me a second look, let alone shown any interest in me. I had to go online to find someone. Yes, the relationship has lasted 5 months, but I just don't know if my personality is good enough to keep ANY man.

 

[Southueki]

I'd prefer not to show you a picture, but just trust me. I'm dumpy and overweight (been working to lose weight for 8 years, look at how useful that's been) even though I dress up almost every day, wear makeup, and take good care of myself. There's only so much I can do to cover the ugly.

I didn't really think personality meant that much. Most guys don't really care for it in the presence of attractiveness. At least, that's what I've seen and experienced, and is the reason only two guys have ever expressed interest in me. I don't think any guy on my college campus has ever given me a second look, let alone shown any interest in me. I had to go online to find someone. Yes, the relationship has lasted 5 months, but I just don't know if my personality is good enough to keep ANY man.

I'm not sure what to say. But in a way it saddens me you feel so badly about yourself. You shouldn't feel like that

 

[Silais]

I'm not sure what to say. But in a way it saddens me you feel so badly about yourself. You shouldn't feel like that

I suppose I deserve it in a way.

 

[Silais]

No you don't. What a silly thing to say, because of the way you appear it's acceptable to be looked down upon? No matter how much self-improvement you do like Southueki suggests you will always be you. Who knows, perhaps with lots of exercise and healthy dieting you'll have a figure that is "desirable" for men. Even though I think anyone can look at least nice with a bit of a makeover we are definitely not all supermodels, and you know what, the men (like me) who only care about physical appearance are ass hats.

There's plenty of ugly, or at least plain dorky looking people on this site, on the internet and in reality, you're not alone. The best thing to do is to only try and look nice to a standard that you feel comfortable with, then embrace your hideousness. There are many men and women in the exact same situation as you. Befriend them, do things together, accept life as part of the ugly crowd. You might actually have fun not trying to fit in with the aesthetic elites. As long as you're successful and happy is there anything bad about being a plain Jane? Sure, if superficial praise is what you want, but I think you'd be happier forming genuine relationships with similar people :3

Self-examination is a lot harsher than what others think. At the end of the day nobody gives a damn about regular looking people, we don't hate you, you just blend into us.

I can't help much with finding a guy that will love you but they are out there, just don't care too much about finding one. I focus on girls too much and it's incredibly negative, maybe focusing on education, your career or your family would be good? :)

The thing is, people who are attractive have hardly any struggle in their lives when it comes to relationships and friendships. Despite taking care of myself physically, people still rarely give me a second look, refuse to talk to me, or taunt me for not being a size 0 or as attractive as a model or an actress from Hollywood. I only have a couple of friends, and while I have a boyfriend, like I said above I can't imagine being able to keep a man for long before he realizes just how many other girls out there outshine me in every way physically and that I'm unworthy. You may say that focusing on other aspects of my life can help, but I've tried and it hasn't done me much good.

 

[Southueki]

I can only agree with everything said above.

Another thing you will notice Silais, and I'm assuming you're still young, is that with age those "problems" will fade away.

I know right now it's hard for you, I guess you're in High School and that's a pretty rough time. I had it sort of easy, even tho I've been bullied before when I was younger (around 10 to 13) as I grew I learned to stand up to them.

Now there's even one of the guys that bullied me in my gym and I can't help but laugh at how scrawny he is. I've grown much stronger than him and when he sees me he lowers his head.

Be strong mentally, you'll come through. Don't let them reach you, affect you this much.
One day you'll grow, be successful, High school will be a distant memory and seem so insignificant. The real world is out there for you, and I know you'll be happy.

There is someone for everyone

 

[Silais]

I can only agree with everything said above.

Another thing you will notice Silais, and I'm assuming you're still young, is that with age those "problems" will fade away.

I know right now it's hard for you, I guess you're in High School and that's a pretty rough time. I had it sort of easy, even tho I've been bullied before when I was younger (around 10 to 13) as I grew I learned to stand up to them.

Now there's even one of the guys that bullied me in my gym and I can't help but laugh at how scrawny he is. I've grown much stronger than him and when he sees me he lowers his head.

Be strong mentally, you'll come through. Don't let them reach you, affect you this much.
One day you'll grow, be successful, High school will be a distant memory and seem so insignificant. The real world is out there for you, and I know you'll be happy.

There is someone for everyone

I'm actually a sophomore in college, so it's been quite awhile since I've been in a high school setting. I've been experiencing the real world for almost two years, and I can say that it's quite the same as high school. People are fickle and care only about attractiveness in others; as I'd said before, I've never received so much as a second glance from any guy on campus, and there are 10,000 students in my university. Most of the girls there are more attractive than me, so I can't say I'm really surprised. I'd like to believe that if I spent time with people who are closer to my personality I'd be happier, but that's not necessarily the case. Sure, my boyfriend makes me very happy when I'm with him, but there's always that underlying embarrassment of being out in public regardless of who I'm with, even if that person is considered "less attractive" than me.

I'm not sure what else to say here, but thank you both for taking the time to respond to my inquiries.

 

[GlitteringMoon]

Boxing, Kickboxing, MMA, Muay Thai Or Submission Wrestling?

Hi!
I wonder if i could get some info/discussion going about these sports

- Boxing
- Kickboxing
- MMA
- Muay Thai
- Submission Wrestling
- BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)

There is a training center offering these sports and i am wondering if i should join one of them, but which one?
what do each of them offer? what is the difference? does anyone have personal expierience with any of these?

I would love to do something that is a great work out, my main focus is to work on my belly and stamina.
I am kind of a shy person at times, so i feel like it would take some time to get
used to these sports because there is a lot of bodily interaction going on with the opposite fighter isn't it?

Would love to hear your opinions! :pink_boogie:​

 

[Kanzler]

Moving to the Help and Advice thread as it's not a discussion thread of the style in the main forum. Hope you'll find out what you need to know!

 

[GlitteringMoon]

Moving to the Help and Advice thread as it's not a discussion thread of the style in the main forum. Hope you'll find out what you need to know!

Thank you! Fellow k-pop fan :)

 

[Spinosaurus]

Thank you! Fellow k-pop fan :)

I do boxing so VM me if you need some help and information.

As of now, it all depends on your character and what you're looking for. For self-defense, Muay Thai is the best of these choices. Boxing is much more suited as a sport, but is great for fitness. Getting into can be hard though, since it's way more complicated and technical than it looks, but is very rewarding otherwise. That's not to say it's ineffective for self defense.

I'm actually a sophomore in college, so it's been quite awhile since I've been in a high school setting. I've been experiencing the real world for almost two years, and I can say that it's quite the same as high school. People are fickle and care only about attractiveness in others; as I'd said before, I've never received so much as a second glance from any guy on campus, and there are 10,000 students in my university. Most of the girls there are more attractive than me, so I can't say I'm really surprised. I'd like to believe that if I spent time with people who are closer to my personality I'd be happier, but that's not necessarily the case. Sure, my boyfriend makes me very happy when I'm with him, but there's always that underlying embarrassment of being out in public regardless of who I'm with, even if that person is considered "less attractive" than me.

I'm not sure what else to say here, but thank you both for taking the time to respond to my inquiries.

Might not be of much help, and I only skimmed through your situation, but to me it seems the problem is more the fact that you're looking down on yourself and not the fact you're "unattractive".

That's a recipe for disaster. Be proud of who you are, regardless of physical appearance. You're only being bullied about it because they know it's something that's bothering you, and bullies will take any opportunities. I've been a victim of bullies myself, and from experience I learned that showing your weakness will only haunt you for a long time until you do something about it. What you have to do here is have some pride and be strong mentally. I have a lot of "unattractive" friends, but they're generally liked and popular because it doesn't bother them, and I respect them for that.

 

[Outlier]

Hi!
I wonder if i could get some info/discussion going about these sports

- Boxing
- Kickboxing
- MMA
- Muay Thai
- Submission Wrestling
- BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)

There is a training center offering these sports and i am wondering if i should join one of them, but which one?
what do each of them offer? what is the difference? does anyone have personal expierience with any of these?

I would love to do something that is a great work out, my main focus is to work on my belly and stamina.
I am kind of a shy person at times, so i feel like it would take some time to get
used to these sports because there is a lot of bodily interaction going on with the opposite fighter isn't it?

Would love to hear your opinions! :pink_boogie:​

It's hard to go wrong when choosing a martial art to train in. The more disciplines you train in the better in my opinion. It's great for building character and obviously for learning how to defend yourself. Now if you are looking to take up MMA as a career and become a fighter then the three basic things you need to learn are how to wrestle, grapple and strike. So amateur wrestling, Jiu-Jitsu and some sort of stand up discipline like Kickboxing or Muay Thai.

However if you're just looking to learn how to defend yourself, get in shape or something like that then I think Jiu-Jitsu would be great for you. Learning how to grapple can really come in handy when you're up against a larger opponent. You don't have to be physically gifted to do well in BJJ. It's mainly about technique and I think it's one of the more fun martial arts to train in. Plus you will get a great workout, trust me! ( :

 

[Captain Gizmo]

Hi!
I wonder if i could get some info/discussion going about these sports

- Boxing
- Kickboxing
- MMA
- Muay Thai
- Submission Wrestling
- BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)

There is a training center offering these sports and i am wondering if i should join one of them, but which one?
what do each of them offer? what is the difference? does anyone have personal expierience with any of these?

I would love to do something that is a great work out, my main focus is to work on my belly and stamina.
I am kind of a shy person at times, so i feel like it would take some time to get
used to these sports because there is a lot of bodily interaction going on with the opposite fighter isn't it?

Would love to hear your opinions! :pink_boogie:​

You should check out some professional fights and see which one interest you the most.

Boxing uses arm strength, reflex, endurance and light footwork.

Kickboxing focuses more on striking but it's a very vague term since it includes muay thai, Lethwei, Muay Buran, Karate etc.

MMA uses striking, grappling and submissions. But since it's the most watched combat sport out there, I think you know how it looks like :P

Muay Thai (My favorite) also known as the art of the eight limbs uses fist, elbow, knees, legs and feet. Which also makes you endure hits so you can keep going without hurting yourself when you strike since you use your limbs and they could get hurt real easily.

Submission Wrestling, well... you wrestle to the ground then you use different form of submission to make your opponent tap out :) It's a ground combast sport really :)

Brazilian Jiu jitsu is heavily focused on grappling and very big on ground fighting, I can't really explain this one becaus I haven't had much experience with it.


I taught Muay Thai to students 15 to 18 during summer. I also practice Boxing, Karate, MMA, kickboxing and submission wrestling :)

 

[Puddle]

Was hoping for some relationship advice.

I feel weird venting this on an online forum, but I need someone to go to. Okay, so my girlfriend is like incredibly needy and it's so annoying. Anytime I'm not with her, she's a ball of sadness and I guess it seems cute, but it's annoying to have to deal with a depressed girlfriend every time you aren't around her.

I want to try and tell her, but 2 things:

1. It wouldn't change and things would only be worse.
2. She has anxiety and she would think she sucks for that andhave anxiety attacks.

I just feel miserable like this, but I don't know what to do.

 

[Outlier]

If you think she's co-dependent and needy, and if it's bringing your mood down then you should be open with her and talk with her about it. Try not to be harsh but make sure you speak your mind. Otherwise you might end up building resentment towards her and it could ruin a good relationship.

 

[Silais]

I'm not sure if this question is acceptable, but I will ask anyways.

So, for the past few months, I've had absolutely no PMS symptoms before my period. I'm not pregnant; I've simply had no symptoms beforehand my my menstrual cycle. Funnily enough, this seems to have started around the time I stopped taking birth control. Does anyone know why this may be? I was under the impression that birth control curbed PMS symptoms, but I have been off the pill for around five months.

 

[Hatsune Mika]

Hmm. The weird thing about the cycle ik is not having one, or its on a super messed up schedule. But I don't thonk they took BC so idk if I can exactly help..

 

[Starry Windy]

Lately I'm feeling not good, I was trying to think like nothing happened, but as the time goes, I become downer than before when seeing what happened that it disturbs my online activity lately... this has happened for weeks already, that I'm feeling uneasy to the point that I was making mistakes... I wish I can be out of this state ASAP, I don't want to become crazy (in a bad way). What should I do to stop feeling down anymore?

 

[gimmepie]

@Starry - if we knew what was making you feel down it would be a bit easier to help but I'll give it a go anyway.

Try immersing yourself in a hobby. Doing things you enjoy makes you happy and distracts you from the world around you so at least for brief periods of time you should cheer up a bit and maybe that will have a more significant affect for you after more time has progressed.

Depending on what kind of person you are you could try surrounding yourself with good company who can make you laugh and take your mind of things, or take some time away from people and spend more time with yourself to get you away from the stresses of the world. Personally I think the first would be more helpful but that's just the kind of person I am.

Actively addressing what is making you feel down could be a help to. Why take temporary measures when you can simply cure the illness, I find situations like yours work similarly.

So yeah in short; think positive thoughts, remember you're awesome and do things that make you happy and if you think you might have a really serious problem like depression or something talk to an expert.