How much does physical attraction matter to you in a relationship?

Nihilego

Nihilego

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    In a relationship, there is usually a degree of both physical and emotional attraction involved, although not always. How much does the former matter to you? Would you enter into a relationship based purely on physical attraction? Would you enter into a relationship where there is no physical attraction?
     
    To me... Attraction is attraction. The attraction can be formed either by physical or emotional ends... But it all ends up equating to the same in the end. Someone could be attractive from purely physical means, another just as attractive from emotional means, and yet another who is mixture of both. While looks definitely help the attraction form faster, personality tends to make for deeper attraction. Someone can be attractive of physical means, but be so foul of mind that they are completely unattractive. :s It's a bit complicated...
     
    There has to be a balance between the two. And occasionally one can complement the other, but there can't be a lack of either for me. Physical attraction is usually what draws you to someone in the first place, if you haven't spoken a word or two with them yet (and even if you have, physical attraction usually counts more than emotional attraction with first impressions) and emotional attraction is what makes you want to stay with them.

    But, I'd say emotional attraction on the long run is more important to me, I notice that when I am emotionally attracted to someone, their physical attraction also increases for me. If you love someone they will always be attractive to you, so emotional attraction wins I guess.
     
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    Physical Attraction is one thing I wouldn't go for, it's more personality and whether I can trust them. This is highly important to me, because you won't wanna be attracted to someone who is very good looking, but has an evil mindset. There is too many people like that today.
     
    Although personality is the absolute number one on my list, physical attraction comes in second. I wouldn't want to date a guy who is as nice as can be but with not-so-good looking features. If I were to be staring into his eyes just before a kiss etc, I wouldn't want to staring into a pair of eyes that doesn't compliment his equally unattractive lips that I'm about to kiss. That would instantly put me off and cut off any emotional attraction. Think about it! Yeah, the guy wouldn't have to be 100% perfect - there is no such thing as the perfect guy with the perfect features - but my future boyfriend must have passable looks according to my taste, or else he won't even be considered. Who says a girl can't have high standards? ;)
     
    I'm not looking into a relationship, but if I was. I would go for both if the girl displayed both quality, however I used to care about busty bimbos. However, I care more for personality since the girl can be nice, but if she got the locks with it then I'm OK with that too.
     
    I think it matters quite a bit, but in the "I want to be physically close to this person" kind of way, not the "I think they're really hot" kind of way. You know, holding hands, cuddling, all of that. Of course if you think they're really hot, too, that's not a bad thing.

    That kind of attraction is based on how comfortable you are with someone and comfort is really important to me. I can't be in a relationship where I feel I can't get close to someone.
     
    Given my experience in relationships, both long term and short, physical attraction is extremely important, if physical attraction trickles away in a relationship, what's the point?

    You can be physically close with friends, but not attracted to them. I've noticed that if desire disappears, a relationship changes, you end up fighting a lot, and the relationship can become a strain on you. So both sexual and general physical attraction are quite important. The prior depends on the person, but physical desire is important. So both are extremely important to me now. I don't ever want to be in a relationship where attraction starts to disappear (again).
     
    Abnegation said:
    Given my experience in relationships, both long term and short, physical attraction is extremely important, if physical attraction trickles away in a relationship, what's the point?

    You can be physically close with friends, but not attracted to them. I've noticed that if desire disappears, a relationship changes, you end up fighting a lot, and the relationship can become a strain on you. So both sexual and general physical attraction are quite important. The prior depends on the person, but physical desire is important. So both are extremely important to me now. I don't ever want to be in a relationship where attraction starts to disappear (again).
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    This basically.. @__@ Both emotional and physical matter to me. I wouldn't go into a relationship with no emotional attraction, there needs to be both.
     
    For me, it is not the single most important factor by any means. I care about the actual person a lot more. Their interests, their humour, their personality, their values, etc. Them.

    But, it would be foolish for me to say their physical appearance doesn't play a role. I think it is a very important factor, just not the most important one. If you find someone physically attractive, there's... a sorta spark. No matter how small. And that's part of what catches your attention at first, enabling you to learn all the rest of it.

    And it's... what you find physically attractive. Whatever floats your boat. Need not be a stereotypical super model bombshell to be seen as physically attractive.

    I guess that applies more to a traditional way though. So, if you're in an online relationship and you've never seen them, then it's all the other stuff that you're exposed to first. When you finally see them, maybe something changes, maybe not. Depends on you.

    So, I guess they go hand-in-hand. If you meet someone offline, their appearance is what you're exposed to first. The rest of their presence and being is what keeps you intrigued after that initial meetings. While online, it's the reverse.
     
    I would never enter into a relationship based solely on physical attraction, but I'm not going to pretend it's irrelevant either. In a world where you can have both, why would anyone settle for one or the other?
     
    I think physical attraction is pretty important in a relationship since if you don't want to interact with them physically, it's pretty hard to truly bond and show your affection to each other, but emotional attraction is much more important as that's the person you're falling in love with, not the body. However physical attraction can often come as a side effect of emotional attraction so even if you're with the ugliest person alive, as long as there's a strong emotional attraction then I'd argue there'll always be a degree of physical attraction too.
     
    Call me shallow, but physical attraction is what first makes me desire a relationship. If I am attracted to them, I'll go up to them and say hi and what not and see where that leads me. But, the attraction to the personality is what keeps me with the person, because I get to a point where I value their personality over their looks, though thinking they're 'damn sexy ;)' will always be a factor in my relationships. Again, call me shallow, but that's what works for me.
     
    Physical appearance is possibly the most important factor... but once I've fallen for someone, I've noticed that they tend to magically get a lot more attractive, so it's not as important to me as it used to be.
     
    I can't help but be drawn to people I think are physically attractive.

    All of my friends (with a few exceptions), girls and boys, are people I consider to be physical attractive in one way or another. Not to the point where I find them sexually attractive, but someone I would be okay with being around. I know that probably sounds pretty shallow of me, but that's just how it is. I see people before I get to know them, and if I like what I see, those are people I will likely get to know sooner than people who I don't really like what I see. Then if we're compatible with our personalities, then I would look for friendship. If not, well, then I guess we'll just stay at the acquaintance stage in our lives.

    The same thing applies to relationships that are more intimate than friendships, but I tend to go into relationships with people who I'm already friends with. If it was a purely sexual relationship and I was interested in one of those, I think I would enter into a relationship based purely on physical attraction. But I'm not really interested in it, so I don't think that I would.
     
    While physical attraction is something I feel to a large number of people, emotional attraction is what we feel for a minimul number.

    For me, physical attraction doesn't affect my relationship with anyone, but emotional attraction does. Thus, after I'm emotionly attracted to someone, I automatically feels physical attraction.

    So basically it doesn't count too much in my relationships, but if I'm physically attracted to someone before feeling something, that's fine also. Very fine.
     
    I remember this kind of discussion coming up in Student Government class back in High School. Back then, I always had the stance that personality trumps physical attraction in pretty much every and any way possible, but it was that day that kind of shaped my views, as well as giving my perspective a second thought as I was thinking what physical attraction really was and how important it was to me.

    Anyway, what was discussed was(and I hope I'm making sense here) that your significant other represents you, and vice-versa. Wouldn't you like to look good if you're representing them, since you are dating them? I apologize if this seems like a shallow perspective, but as much as some people are "I don't gaf about what other people think about me and my gf", I find that to be at least partially false. After all, if you're dating someone who, even though they have the best personality in the world, but really sub-par as far as physical makeup goes, then it's most likely going to be quite rough.

    I hope I worded this right ^^; But for me personally, it's just about an equal mix of both.
     
    I don't really care about physical attraction. As long as I feel attracted to Insert Name Here, I'm good.
     
    The thing with this question is...well, when you're attracted to someone emotionally, you'll find them physically attractive. I don't know what it is, but I mean, I know I've been so into someone and most people be like, "ew, he's not even that good looking" and to me, they were the best looking person I knew. Looking back, without the emotional attraction I had then, I'm like "ew yeah, what was I thinking?" haha.

    But anyway, I do think physical attraction is important. I'm with my current boyfriend because I just kinda noticed him and literally HAD to have him. That was...probably this time last year! Haha. It worked, didn't it? But I don't recommend going into a relationship purely off that. I kinda wish I had gotten to know my bf a little better before we started dating, since usually when I date someone, I already know them fairly well. I find myself still learning about my bf more and more at a different rate than past bfs, but hey, I wouldn't wanna be in a relationship where I know everything about them anyway. I don't want to ever stop learning.

    That's all the time we have today for "Gettin' Sappy with Syd" so bye!
     
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