If Pikachu Could Talk..What would he say?

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"No, Ash, just let Team Rocket have me, they'd take better care"
"Y'know, I'd like to be released like Charizard or something... would I ever return? Uh... Sure?"
"Ash, get a girlfriend. Hopefully, one with a female Pikachu, for your best buddy?"
"For christs sake! You can see the Team Rocket logo on their shirts! How dumb are you?!"
 
"Dangit Ash, its been months... no, years since you change your shirt... pants..."
 
if you put me in a pokeball I will slap the **** out of you
 
Pikachu sez:

"DANGIT, ASH! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS, BUT NOT ME HAVE TO FALL IN TEAM ROCKET'S TRAPS!
IT'S THEIR FREAKING VOICE! IT'S THEIR FREAKING HAIR!"

"Remember when I slapped the **** of that thunderstone when we lost against Lt. Surge? Well, I will do that to you if you ever try to put me in a Poké Ball"
 
any poke:
"dam he chose me again...>>"
 
"Who is Pokota and why do I feel compelled to tell it to talk to me?"
 
Then the TV show would have been canceled after Pikachu expressed his utmost hate for Ash (with all the swears he could imagine) in the first few episodes.
 
"Why do I have this irrepressible urge to go to Celadon and get a red ribbon from Erika?"

"Why do I have this irrepressible urge to hate anyone with the name Daichi?"

"Why do I suddenly feel suspicious of anyone named Hibino Hikaru?"

"Who is Hasekura, and why do I feel like I should be crushing on him?"
 
"Bow down mere mortals! I am the haXX0r'd anime Pikachu of game mechanic-breaking might!"

Aim for the horn, anyone?
 
"I am NOT a rat! I'm a mouse!"
 
*During a battle*

"man, i really need to pee"

*outside a battle*

"Left... Right... Left..." while pulling ash's ears
 
"Look down at your chest!"

"Chappy, let's go down to the human world and - wait, this isn't the Mahou no Kuni."

"Surrender your Star Seed, Sailor Moon! Wait... this isn't Juuban..."

"No! Absolutely not! I refuse to do my Tony Tony Chopper impression!"
 
"You know something Ash, I Hukka-Mega-Mighty-Ultra-Extremely hate you."
 
"Listen, Team Rocket. You've tried to catch me more than one hundred thousand times, literally. Why don't you just give up and go somewhere else?"
 
"Personally, I think that SMAP is overrated, but they did help get Himechan's Ribbon on the airwaves."
 
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