Internet vs. reality

[Rogue planet]

Many people say that friend on the internet aren't true friends. Most people here would disagree, because they're frequent users of the net. But what's the basis for this perception?

What are the benefits of talking to someone in real life? What are the negatives?
And what are the benefits and negatives of talking to people online?
Why do you think some people are wary of the internet?
Basically, discuss anything that's relevant.

 

[Alley Cat]

[SIZE="a"]I dislike Internet friends because as nice as they are... My friends are going to be the people in my life who when I look back and remember were actually there. We won't have any real memories or experiences together.. And for me that ruins it. But darn... It is so much easier to be confident over the Internet and there is all different kinds of people... Where as I have to deal with the same people I already know I like / dislike.[/SIZE]

 

[Mr. X]

Internet is, essentially, a seperate life that people lead from their real ones. It allows people to escape from the real world and whatever issues they have one it.

With it being a diffrient 'life' and a human's innate desire for companionship/friendship its only inevitable that a person will befriend people online, even if they never meet them in real life.]

I have a few online friends, but that is because of one of the downfalls on online friends. They vanish, and you can never seem to find them again. Your favorite website shuts down? You lose a couple of friends. One of your favorite forums starts to slowly die? Your going to slowly lose friends until you have none left.

Thats the bad thing about online friends. You can lose them, and then continue on wanting to 'see' them again. I've a entire list of internet friends that I've lost contact with and want to talk to again.

I usually try not to post stuff like this, but with this post it just seems... appropriate.

Homer1074, Bluethen, Sayianlogo, Legendkiller, DarkwolfH, ThEInTeNa, Laughingman86, Hatejacket, dunkxx, If any of you are reading this, asdfth12/Mr.X/X/Cyberc50x/Mechx-2/Cyberwing (Whatever I went by last time we talked) would like to talk to you again.

 

[The Noob Hacker]

I don't know why people claim that the Internet and real life are different things. As far as I can remember, the Internet is real, yet people seem to claim that the Internet somehow exists in some realm of its own that is separate from reality. If talking to people in person is real life, does that make talking to someone over the Internet fake life? Even if people act differently over the Internet, they are still people interacting with other people. A person could just as easily act differently in "real life". Does that make the interaction between two people acting differently not real?

I believe the idea that life and the Internet are separate entities comes from people who were around before the Internet, and people who are close to them that picked up from them. Of course, people who grew up more recently could still think that the Internet is not part of real life without influence from others, but I think this comes from a almost-fear that you don't know who you are talking to over the Internet, therefore it is not real interactivity. What is forgotten is that the only thing that you know about a person in "real life" over the Internet is what they look like, sound like, ect. The entire idea is just something from "the good old days", before the oh so evil technology of today. I just can't wrap my head around why some people think that simply seeing someone gives you any more understanding of a person's true personality, or that it makes it any more real than anything over the Internet.

That was incredibly disorganized, I know, but the main point I'm trying to make is that the Internet is based in reality, therefore it is real life. You know just as much about a person over the Internet as you do in person. A friend over the Internet is just as much a friend as any other friend.

 

[Keiran]

I have met most of my closest friends over the internet. All but three of my high-school friends have either screwed me over in some way or was just friends with me to use me, and I still hardly see/talk to those three.


Some of my experiences of meeting people over the internet;

Spoiler:

My first internet friends I met over the old Nintendo forums when I was like 12-13. A bunch of them were friends with me over Myspace. We talked somewhat for years but as less people used Myspace we grew apart. But 2 of them lived about 40 mins away from me and were my age. We first met at Warped Tour 3 years ago, and we've gone to like dozens of concerts, shows, and parties together. We talk all the time and have never had a problem.

Spoiler:

My "Facebook Wife" and I met over Maple Story like...6-7 years ago. We are *so* close. Me & her and all of our friends would play together all the time. It was great. When we discovered each others love for our favorite movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we became instant best friends even though being on opposite coasts. Almost every week we have a movie date over Skype and watch a movie together. If we watch ESOTSM I say all of Joels lines and she does Clems. I love it. When guys hit on her in public she tells them she is married to me (LOL), and gets away with it because it's "Facebook Official". I don't even like girls that way, but if I did, she would be the one! >_>

I have tons of other friends that I haven't mentioned, that mean a lot to me, that I met over other forums or games. So I guess your thoughts/opinions on talking to people on the internet really depend on your individual experience. Just like everything in the world. Mine has been incredibly positive compared to ones with real-life ones. Then again, I tend to choose my friends extremely wisely. It's not that I value privacy very low, I care very much about it, I just realize that "people on the internet" are still people.

 

[Yoshikkko]

I consider my online friends to be friends too. If you have a pen-pal, that's a friend right? This is essentially the same, just a tad less personal since it's not actual letters but typing. I think a huge negative to friends online though is that they are not actually there. You can talk to them and be friends so long as they are available online, but usually it stops there, so let's say they move on from the net then they're just away. Of course there are cases where you get eachothers number and etc and then I think you can call it a solid friendship even though you're still apart.

 

[Briar]

i don't have internet friends at all, to be honest. :-P
personally, i find internet-based relationships harder to maintain than real-life ones. i really am more of a "face-to-face" kind of person when it comes to socializing, so i'd rather base my relationships on personal encounters.

 

[Drummershuff]

I love it when people say friends on the internet aren't real. I have met some truly wonderful people on the internet, and I actually travelled from the UK to the US to meet some of them when I was 16, and now I'm engaged! — to someone I met orginally online. Now we live in the same area as I go to university in the same state. It all worked out just perfectly. If a friendship truly exists, it doesn't matter where they are, that friendship is just as 'real' as someone you see every day in person. I do admit meeting in person does make the friendship stronger, but still. People are people — friends are friends. We had a long distance relationship for 3 years or so, and even though we only emailed, Skyped, etc, I still considered her my friend, even prior to meeting for the first time.

 

[Alex]

I think the basis of perception that Internet friends aren't real friends is basically cuz you don't really know if the person is legit. You can't go out and hang out with them so there's always the wonder in the back of your head, is this person really who they say they are? It's too easy to lie on the Internet. Which is why there's so much uncertainty. I know my parents were not a fan of me being on this forum at first and did not want me to get too close to anyone, for fear of getting lured by a predator. While it is true that predators do prey on naive Internet-users, they can't really do anything unless you give them the information. Use your own judgement.

The benefits of talking to someone in real life? Well it's nice to have someone to do something with outside the house. The only thing I hated about having such close friends thanks to PC is that we could only hang out over MSN or on the forums. We could never just go out and see a movie, or something. Negatives? I dunno, there aren't really. I would say you might have to see someone too often, like at school, but that's not much of a negative. If you're tired of seeing the person then just stop seeing them. I don't really think there are negative aspects to having real life friends. It's pretty pessimistic to find negative attributes related to having friendships lol.

Benefits of talking to someone on the Internet, and I like this one a lot, it's okay to ignore people. For a certain amount of time, anyway. Think about it: you're on MSN, and chances are MSN is not the only thing you're doing. Someone sends you a message, the screen flashes or you hear the little jingle. You might read it, you might not. But the person on the other end is not gonna get frustrated if you haven't answered within the first thirty seconds. Compare that to talking to someone on the phone or hanging out with them in real life, if they say something to you, and it registers, but you just flat out ignore them, they're gonna probe you about it. Negative aspects to having in real life friends is as I mentioned before. One thing I really like about having online friends is how much more rewarding it is to finally be able to meet one of them. I've met several people that I had originally met on these forums, and it's always been a great time hanging out with them. You almost don't believe it at first, you're so used to only talking to them behind a computer screen.

People are wary of the Internet because you never really know who you're talking to. Everybody goes by a pseudonym that probably doesn't reflect anything about them. And it doesn't help that all over the news, we hear about scams committed over the Internet, of predators luring young girls and boys into their homes to rape them thanks to the Internet. But you never hear about the happy-ending stories. I travelled all the way to southern California, from eastern Canada, to meet somebody from these forums. By myself. Had there been a predator waiting for me at the airport, I would not be writing this post today. But I had faith there wouldn't be, because I hadn't only been talking to the person in California for 2 weeks. It had been roughly 4 years. Predators don't commit to one person for 4 years. They wanna get a bang as quickly as possible, and anyone will do. If you don't seem like proper prey to them, they won't bother.

 

[twocows]

I don't really differentiate. Friends are friends; why should it matter whether you communicate with them over text or face-to-face?

 

[Broken_Arrow]

Internet friends are real friends..i have lots of friends..the oldest friend i have online is my friend since four years now..his name is Dario from Italy

i have other Internet friends from around the world..some real good and others like to play..

i think they considered real friends anyway..^^

 

[2Cool4Mewtwo]

For me, this is a hard question to answer. While people on the internet may be physically real (on the other side), they don't have any real personalities.

I try to spend more time on the outside matter than on sites like PC. I still haven't figured out why I still visit this site regularly, though, even if it's only for like 30 mins. Most internet forums, I just after couple months, but about 70% of people here are really nice (very high compared IMO to many other forums)

 

[twocows]

For me, this is a hard question to answer. While people on the internet may be physically real (on the other side), they don't have any real personalities.

Hop on IRC and say that. I have quite the personality, thank you very much.

 

[Zeffy]

For me, this is a hard question to answer. While people on the internet may be physically real (on the other side), they don't have any real personalities.

People who thinks like this makes me sick!

Friends are friends, buddies are buddies, mates are mates. Why does it matter if you met them on the internet? My father works abroad and we could only chat via text and/or call, how does that differ from conversations between friends in the internet? Perhaps the blood relation, but other than that...

:x

 

[Gamzee]

Little to no difference for me. I've met two people in real life from another forum that I frequent. I have very close friends I know from the internet. I've seen relationships, and even marriages start from the internet. Of course, it wasn't until I finally opened my mind and allowed myself to become integrated into the communities that I started to see them less as an avatar on the internet and as an actual person at a computer.

 

[Suki]

Let's see... I have been making online friends since I was aged 13. As time went on, I kept some of these friends close to me, even had relationships with them - I've met up with three of them, and considered meeting with some others.

My intention, although hard to believe, is not to actually try and find people on the internet to date. It's simple, really. I find it a lot easier to talk to them than those who are close to me in real life, and that's an obvious when you consider you are sitting behind a screen and there is no physical interaction or awkwardness preventing you from being your real self and expressing your emotions.

My online friends I keep very dear to me - I love talking to them and I look forward to our conversations. They're now of enormous value to my daily life and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm an introvert in reality, as you can probably tell, yet online I am free and sociable, and in my own world where I can escape the stress of reality but not to the point where I actually lose grip of it. My online friends essentially help to maintain this world of mine, and ultimately, I understand that people may believe I am deluded in a sense, but I don't really mind their perspectives on this matter.

What I do believe is that others have every right to feel paranoid and hesitant to form relationships with others online and they hate the idea of people (and me) meeting up because of the obvious risks.

 

[femtrooper]

I have many internet friends...but I don't consider them true friends. We don't spend time together, form memories together and 'live' together. I just talk to them on the internet about Pokemon or Ayumi Hamasaki... I also find that people are different on the internet than they are in real life. Either way, I think internet friends are great things to have! I love my internet friends, but let's face it, they aren't my true friends. I don't really know them. I've never walked around with them in real life and had to respond to them in real time or talk about many different things.

 

[Controversial?]

I have quite a few internet friends, but tbh they aren't really like real life friends - there aren;t really any proper memories - I'll give an exammple; last year me and my real life mates decided to break into an abandoned asylum to explore and stuff, and the memories of that will still be in my head for years to come. You don't really have any memories like that with internet friend.

It's even worse with internet relationships; it's basically having to go through all the commitment of a relationship, without the actual intimacy part.

 

[ナギ]

for a usually-introvert person like me, the internet is a great place to make friends, for the simple reason that it's much easier to find people with the same interests and mindset as yours. me being a 17-year-old female otaku and videogame(pokémon!)-lover, it's terribly hard to find friends with the same interests when you're in university and everyone is so.. NORMAL. XD;
i've been actively using the internet since i was what, 9? although back then i used it in different ways than i do now. for example, back when i was 9 till around 12 i was active on 'habbohotel'-kind of things a lot, and i actually did succeed in making two very close friends that i talk to every day, even now. i do have to say that those two friends never had the intention of meeting up, even though we don't even live that far apart. i guess that it is easier to actually learn to trust someone when you're in person than on the internet.

as for (romantic) relationships.. well, i do have to note that the person i'm currently dating IS actually someone i met online.. but it wasn't until i met them in person that i really started to like him. i guess just typing *hug* in the end never felt real enough for me.

 

[Juicy]

for a usually-introvert person like me, the internet is a great place to make friends, for the simple reason that it's much easier to find people with the same interests and mindset as yours. me being a 17-year-old female otaku and videogame(pokémon!)-lover, it's terribly hard to find friends with the same interests when you're in university and everyone is so.. NORMAL. XD;

I think the thing that makes it easier is that people are more seperated into their interests (ie Pokemon forums have people that like Pokemon and generally video games and what not). People in University and school are the people that make up the internet though and while they might be spread out there are loads of people with similiar interests the difference is you've gotta get to know them before you discover them. I'm not saying the internet isn't easier in this regard because I find that it is but I'm also saying that people in University aren't normal and do quite often have similiar interests. There's also clubs and stuff for people with certain interests (I think there's even an anime one at my uni) which has similiar benefits.

I find the major difference between school/work/anywhere you frequent is that on the internet it's a lot easier to avoid someone if you screw up... Probably not the best way to look at it but if you're shy enough as it is then it can help boost your confidence. There's also the fact that it covers a much wider variety of people as people from all over the world use it. Which is a huge benefit (Even though I just said before that there are going to be plenty of people that share interests with you nearby especially if you're in University).

Where the internet falls with conversation is the absense of body language and actual facial expressions. Now this has changed a hell of a lot with webcams and live video calling but it's still not up to scratch with real life interactions and people still converse mostly with text online.

I don't see internet friends as any less real than friends I happened to meet in person, it all depends on the person not whether I met them on or offline.