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Jokes on you Language!

Ársa

k.
    • 1,831
    Posts
    17
    Years
    Ever heard something in the English language that made you think...wha? Try these:

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Why is abbreviated such a long word?

    Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>)

    If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

    If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat?

    Why don't you ever see the headling "Psychic wins Lottery"?

    Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"?

    If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

    If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"?

    What's another word for "Synonym"?

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Have you heard any others?

    ~T_S
     
    Yay! The perfect opportunity to ruin the joke by flexing my brain muscle.

    Why is abbreviated such a long word? - It's Latin, which combines words

    Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>) - Definition: condition arrived at by experience or exercise

    If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless? - A turtle's shell is not actually its home. It is a defense mechanism. Turtles usually make their 'homes' in rocks, the seabed, or holes in the shore. Therefore, it can be considered 'naked'.

    If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat? - Anything they want.

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"? - This has many explanations. Some more common ones are that psychics aren't actually psychic, or in many denominations of various religions, psychics are puppets for demons. There are too many to list here.

    Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"? - It is a misnomer.

    If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress? - No. Antonyms of Progress include retreat, regression, return, deteriorate, regress, abstain, cease, discontinue, forbear, halt, hesitate, inaction, refrain, stop, etc. (Taken from research on thesaurus.reference.com)

    If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"? - Definition: situated at or forming the end or extremity of something. An airport terminal marks the end of a flight.

    What's another word for "Synonym"? - Taken from thesaurus.reference.com: Adequation, agreement, alikeness, compatability, conformity, correlation, correspondence, equality, eveness, exchangeability, identity, interchangeability, interchangableness, likeness, match, par, parallel, parity, similarity, synonym, synonymy.
     
    Tetsu said:
    Yay! The perfect opportunity to ruin the joke by flexing my brain muscle.

    Why is abbreviated such a long word? - It's Latin, which combines words

    Doctors call what they do..."Practice"? (>_>) - Definition: condition arrived at by experience or exercise

    If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless? - A turtle's shell is not actually its home. It is a defense mechanism. Turtles usually make their 'homes' in rocks, the seabed, or holes in the shore. Therefore, it can be considered 'naked'.

    If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat? - Anything they want.

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"? - This has many explanations. Some more common ones are that psychics aren't actually psychic, or in many denominations of various religions, psychics are puppets for demons. There are too many to list here.

    Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"? - It is a misnomer.

    If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress? - No. Antonyms of Progress include retreat, regression, return, deteriorate, regress, abstain, cease, discontinue, forbear, halt, hesitate, inaction, refrain, stop, etc. (Taken from research on thesaurus.reference.com)

    If flying is so safe, then why is the airport called "Terminal"? - Definition: situated at or forming the end or extremity of something. An airport terminal marks the end of a flight.

    What's another word for "Synonym"? - Taken from thesaurus.reference.com: Adequation, agreement, alikeness, compatability, conformity, correlation, correspondence, equality, eveness, exchangeability, identity, interchangeability, interchangableness, likeness, match, par, parallel, parity, similarity, synonym, synonymy.
    Click to expand...

    Think all you want...This wasn't meant to be taken seriously. As for your "Synonym" experiment, I can only see a few that should actually fit the argument.

    But yes, well done on...w/e you did. :P

    ~T_S
     
    Stop cutting fown the table... your language sucks!

    hAR isnt thta funny(I'm Mongolian by the way)
     
    Ooh ooh i have one:
    If olive oil is made of olives, and vegetable is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of????
    Oh and Revend, if out language sucks so much why bother learning it? Hypocrite
     
    ~KiTsUnE said:
    hm...

    Why do you park your car in a driveway and drive on a parkway? o_O



    nice save there, Gerri! :p
    Click to expand...

    I thought it was called a road? Just kidding! I didn't know it was called a parkway though... yes, I is stupid.

    Er, don't think I actually have any. Wait, let me think (Back to brainic 'things that make you go 'hmmm') Er...

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?

    Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Just a few from this site I found. So no, I did not think those up.

    Also Can I just say...
    If a quiz is quizzical than a test is testiful.
    Hehehe...
     
    ~KiTsUnE said:
    hm...

    Why do you park your car in a driveway and drive on a parkway? o_O Because people are stupid and don't know what to name things before they do something with it.



    nice save there, Gerri! :p
    Click to expand...


    Rhiannon-Chan said:
    I thought it was called a road? Just kidding! I didn't know it was called a parkway though... yes, I is stupid.

    Er, don't think I actually have any. Wait, let me think (Back to brainic 'things that make you go 'hmmm') Er...

    What was the best thing before sliced bread? Loaves of bread.

    Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8? Because packagers don't know how to count.

    Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Police have to no matter how stupid it seems.

    Just a few from this site I found. So no, I did not think those up.

    Also Can I just say...
    If a quiz is quizzical than a test is testiful.
    Hehehe...
    Click to expand...
    Put all my answers in bold.

    They say practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
     
    ¿Por qué es que el pizza llega a su casa más rápida que la policía?

    Oh wait, the English language? Damn...
     
    Ditto said:
    ¿Por qué es que el pizza llega a su casa más rápida que la policía?
    Why is it that the pizza comes to his house more rapid than the police?

    Oh wait, the English language? Damn...
    Click to expand...
    Because the Pizza guy is angry at the police for spending all his money at Dunkin' Donuts.
     
    people always used to say "the best thing since sliced bread" and what i am saying is, "what was best thing before sliced bread".
    actually a pun.
     
    thats a good one. might be because it is the country that is furthest south apart from Antarctica. maybe becaue the place is hot? i dont know.
     
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