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Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

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Granted, it's a birthday card with Articuno on the front.

I wish for a sonic screwdriver.
 
Well you can have it, but it's really fat and mean, and you have to clean up after it!

I wish for a nice car!
 
Well, granted, but you had to clean it all by yourself! Feeling tired??

I wish for a nice chocolate-chip cookie!
 
Granted, but your clan turns on you and kills you.

I wish I can walk through walls.
 
Granted, but Chuck Norris round-house kicked you, and instead of a wall breaking your fall, you wnet through it and eventually left the Earth's atmosphere!

I wish
for a golden fish!
 
Granted but you cannot lift it and dies of overweight because it cannot exercise.

i wish for......super effective in the tournaments.
 
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Well, since you didn't make any wish, i'll grant you anything, but it will be baaaaad!

I wish for a nice gurman dinner!
 
Fine, you can have it! Oh, wait, you wanted a normal workin one...?

I want everything you want!
 
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