Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

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Granted, the time police then come after you with murderous intents for corrupting the timeline.

I wish I superhuman powers.
 
Granted but you get it 1 million years later and everyone has surpassed todays standard of superhuman.
I wish to have six pokemon in real life.
 
Granted but they are all magikarp who swallowed an everstone.

I wish I had a non-toxic and friendly Muk in real life
 
Granted, but they become too friendly, if you catch my drift.

I wish Squidward was here to see this.
 
Granted, until a charizard comes and knocks it out in flight.
I wish that all my friends became rage comics faces.
 
Granted but they're stuck with that face forever. So if they're Trollface , they're Trollface for forever.

I wish I could convince my brother gen 5 isn't as bad as he thinks it is.
 
Granted. He thinks it's worse.

I wish had something better to wish for.
 
Granted, but people now think you're useless.

I wish for cupcakes with chocolate sprinkles.
 
Granted, however, the sprinkles weren't exactly 'chocolate', if you catch my drift.

I wish I still had my old Red cartridge.
 
Granted but you wont have anything to play it on...ever

I wish i could hug every pokemon that i've ever used in an in-game story run in each region
 
Granted, but Terminators come from the future and pulverizes every human being on earth. And leaves the animals live.

The world is not ending... for the animals.

I wish Christmas break lasted 2 months long.
 
Granted, but you are struck dead in your own majesty. You are buried in paint, and at your funeral, they eat gummy bears.

I wish for a monocle.
 
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