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me right now

Me right now is that I have diarrhoea and I can feel it go gurgle gurgle inside me
 
Oh god I just heard this monstrosity in a coffee shop (where the baristas are wearing fake antlers). 'Tis the season!

 
So close to the holidays (not really) and there's friggin' Christmas lights and trees everywhere in stores and malls around me. Meanwhile, at the local Starbucks said fuck Christmas music in November (as everyone should) and was belting out this tune:

 
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