Our new PC mansion

I thought I just fixed that damn thing last week! Who broke it again >:[

So which one of you millionaires bought like 300 Nintendo Switches and delivered them in my name when I said I already had one?
 
Well, I bought them because I wanted to corner the world market, but I knew that the desperate dozens would ransack my bedroom for them - whereas they'd never think of raiding yours. Because people are stupid, my dear. They pain my brain. if I didn't love them so much, I'd probably get rid of them.

Tell me now and I promise I won't get mad: who ate my boyfriend, and why did they see fit to eat my secret girlfriend too?
 
You can't keep coating people in ketchup I'll think they're chicken nuggets.

Okay but seriously destroyed my entire shrine to all my anime husbandos. How are they going to know I'm their number one fan now?
 
What are you looking at me for? Just because I'm a member of the Kill Anime in Every Form Association, it doesn't mean that I dissolved your shrine with acid then set the residue on fire with a blowtorch before spitting on it. It's not as though I hate waifus and husbandos with a passion so vile that its nearly lethal in its toxicity...

Who clambered into my bed last night and snatched all of the blanket? I love platonic sleepies, but come on!
 
Oh don't look at me! I have so many plushies already I don't need your stinking blankets. It's too warm for them this time of year anyway.

Alright whole stole my sketchbook? I know I have four of them but that was the one with all my murder plans in it.
 
Sorry, I did it, I have to consume a lot of honey or my personality turns sour.

Speaking of which, who left the milk out on the counter in the 4th kitchen? It has turned and made the place stink. perhaps someone is trying to cover up a different smell. Maybe the police weren't quick enough...
 
I thought you wanted to do an Anakin cosplay for the themed party, but I thought you might lose your nerve when it comes to actually removing it. So I decided to blow you away with my undiluted genius!
...or blow your arm away, more specifically. My profession is practical effects and extreme violence.

Someone has been using all the Scott Pilgrim band-aids! Confess now and I may feel less compelled to tenderise your soul.
 
Spot on, old boy. I wouldn't spend good forged money on yellow luminous carpets for him. No way. I'm going to use his empty room as mine and Skeletor's love nest. I'm going for gaudy chic. Throw in a little emo. A 70's cabinet. Some cages to dance in and wallop - excellence.

But really. You've got to stop looting my secret sock.
 
Have you got lost on the map? No, dummy, our mansion's right next to the Eiffel Tower replica in Las Vegas, but it's covered in moss so that no one can spot it.

But since we're speaking of "middle of nowhere", I remember spotting someone taking my sheep for a walk yesterday and didn't bring it back; Where did you hide him?!
 
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