Sarcastic Answers

[TheFallenUmbreon]

Well duh!!! Who doesn't give their hotdog a leash?!
What's this? (looks at hand)

 

[CyanFlame]

It is not a hand, I assure you.
How do I call 911?

 

[Limanya]

That's simple. With a bathtub of course.

How am i typing this?

 

[Sweet Smoochum]

You think it's the greatest invention to mankind other than cars or tonkas or robots, or parts designed to move mechanically to climb the sides of skyscrapers.

Why don't I get dates? (The fruit.)

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Because you're totally too cool for them.

Why don't everyone obey me?

 

[droomph]

Because you're the single most powerful person on the planet.

Trespassers will trespass on this property.

 

[Sweet Smoochum]

Everyone loves being controlled by a control freak who is on the verge of human domination, who doesn't know what's best for others, nor really cares, and overall gives the worst advice possible, such as telling a girl not to look at boys, and just look at girls, even though she likes the opposite gender, but is too scared to admit, because of teasing... that and just being insecure overall, and making her hate having no control over her life or her own decisions... People love being controlled, don't they?! They love feeling like no one lets them have control over their own life or their own decisions, and they like having others not respect their opinions enough to know what's right for them, especially if they know themselves.

Why do I hate my careless, controlling ex-boyfriend?

As to the above post, because people just love walking on others lawns, thinking it's fun to stomp on ant hills, and get rid of the ant population, since no one, and I mean no one likes bugs or being bitten by them...

 

[Doa]

Because he's your ex, certainly nothing to do with the careless and controlling part.

Do you have a nose?

 

[TheFallenUmbreon]

No. But I do have 2 holes above my mouth.
Why do I have eyes?

 

[mineox100]

So there won't be an empty space between your hair and your nose! Duh!

Why can I run?

 

[TheFallenUmbreon]

Because Bidoof the god of all Pokemon gave us...uuuhhhh..I mean u the ability to run!!! Lucky -.- and u were supposed to know that! It's in the pokederp bible!
Why do I have a pet rock?

 

[TheFattestSnorlax]

I'm sorry but he got run over by a car.

Why is there a cow on my lawn?

 

[CyanFlame]

He wanted your grass fortune...
What are those white things in the sky?

 

[TheFallenUmbreon]

They are floating pillows of course
How do I start a fire using my nose?

 

[Bluerang1]

You use lava as nose drops.

Why doesn't grass grow as tall as trees?

 

[TheFallenUmbreon]

Grass is dead Oddish half buried underground so they can't grow when they're dead
What am I made out of?

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Rainbows and crap.

If Darwin was so smart, how did he die?

 

[goldenyellowcrystal]

He turned into a carrot and was eaten by a computer.

How the heck do clouds fly?

 

[mineox100]

Oh, that's simple! It has an invisible jet pack on it!

Why is grass, green?

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Grass is green? You want to know why? How very very interesting.

Why you log me out, PC?